The Baby

There once was a baby that worked at McDonalds.  It was a good employee.  It showed up for work on time, did it’s work well and never stole from the company.  The one downfall the baby had was that it loved to suck the honey out of honey packets.  Every chance it got, it would go into the dry storage room and suck as much honey as it could, keeping the shriveled-up honey packets in the pockets of it’s little baby uniform.  The baby's only other downfall was that it was forgetful, and so it would forget to empty out the shriveled-up honey packets from the pockets in its uniform.  Eventually the packets built up so much that when the baby leaned over to pick up a dropped coin, they all spilled out onto the floor.  Filling the floor with hundreds of shriveled-up honey packets.  Without returning it’s uniform, the baby ran away from it’s job at McDonalds.  The baby ran.  Ran as fast as it could.  The baby ran to the open field across the street from the McDonalds and collapsed to the salty ground.  The baby thrust it’s hands into it’s pockets and found two shriveled-up honey packets left.  Bringing them slowly to it’s small mouth, the baby put the packets into it’s mouth and for the first time was disgusted by the taste of honey.  Spitting the packets out with disgust, the baby dug a hole three feet deep.  The baby threw the packets into the three foot hole.  Covered it with dirt and fell asleep on top of the freshly buried shriveled-up honey packets.  It then began to rain. 

Reviews

[zz]

That was amazing and powerful!

[Gary Alexander Azerier]

I loved this. (Don't ask me why) But...you're really wacky!
I'm going to try to explain though: First, it's original. Second, it's correct...nicely written!
Your metaphor and voice and POV is consistent...and, I think, strong. You've tapped into not merely the cliche, workaday world of prose and poetry and "stuff" to write about...but the unconscious. And, as such, if you can keep that tunnel open and shore it up...you've got something going. I loved the images. BTW, when the rain stops, and baby gets hungry enough, will you please see if it can order me a quarter pounder and a medium fries! Thanks.
(I'm lovin' it!...da, da, dah, dah, dah!)
GA

[Eezee]

This is the second story of your that i have looked at and I like this one. It is a child's story with a nice begining, a conflict, resolution but the ending is a bit unsatifactory. Maybe we should say that after it rained the baby swore never to steal honey again.