A heart beat away

this is boe's side of the story Two Half's of a Whole which is blair's side of things

( this story is boe's side of things., I have added details to this story that were not but are close to Blair”s version, such as dialogue ext thank you )

There had been little word from anyone and having woken up on a strange ship it was clear that he had been used to get Blair to behave herself. But now he was finding that he was hooked up to a computer system. He could feel them trying to get into his programming which he knew was an odd expression. Eco's were not supposed to feel, though he felt more then he should by the exp standards. It felt like a battering ram was being slammed against his mother circuits.

“ sir he's online again” the vary deep voice said. “are were anywhere near to cracking into his system to wipe him?” another male called from some where in the ship. “ no, she wrote his program like a pro sir for every back door I find there is another fire wall with even more encryption there just doesn't seem like I can get through” the deep voiced male replied. “ seems Blair is smarter than just being suicidal, I don't know what her ghost was thinking bringing her back I think it might have a malfunction in it somewhere” the voice sighed then added “ well sense we can't wipe him then he will be our insurance to keep her in line, she has a freakish obsession with this exo so we will use it”

Boe took it all in letting them talk like he was an object, he was waiting to hear what they were doing with Blair. “ hey metal head” the deep voiced male nudged Boe leg “we know you're online and aware so there's no point in playing dead though that's what you are going to be if you don't behave and do what your told, I don't care what your psycho woman of an awoken cares. As long as she thinks you're online she will play nice”. Boe made a sound that was similar to sneering at the guy, “ oo looks like she gave you a program all your own, I bet you think you're a real boy” the man mocked him. That's when boe finally said something “well if you're what the tower had to offer up as a real man it's no wonder she had to make one of her own” he was seething with rage, which he was surprised by because he was normally the calm one between him and Blair. But then again that was why they had made a good pair he kept her from losing herself completely. He had to wonder if she was okay.

The thought of her calmed him almost immediately, he could almost see her laying on the floor of their ship beaten, he had seen her fighting to get to him and the only way the guardians had managed to do that was to over power and out man her, that didn't mean she went easily though she had taken a good handful down, and that made his robotic heart swell with pride. She was strong and she felt that she needed to fight that hard for him. But he didn't get to see how the fight ended, they had overloaded his energy reserves and shorted him out. Obviously she had been over powered but how many of them had it taken to do it. A sharp zap brought him back to the situation at hand. He was on a ship away from her. “ felt that didn't you” the man stood in front of him looking roughed up two black eyes a broken nose, he was clearly human. “ I am captain Jeff T Zern, you are now under my command, and if you don't want that wench to die I would play nice, given that we can't wipe you you will be a part of this team disobey and well I can't promise that she will make it through her next mission, our tech head over there is dodger, you'll figure that out soon enough.”

boe just glared at the one who claimed to be called Jeff “ you have no idea what you have done, she was already on the edge of insanity when she brought me online, I kept her grounded, now that I'm not there what do you think is going to happen, you know we were one of the top rated, so why mess with a good thing, if she doesn't kill herself she is going to get even more reckless and turn on all the guardians, what then, you guys may kill her but not before she takes out more of you” boe shouted trying to reason with the captain who he already reasoned was arrogant. “ let her try there isn't anything I would love more then to beat the s**t out of the little b***h” stated the captain “ if she gets out of line something will happen on a mission and she wont return its that simple” with that the captain walked away

Boe growled tugging on the cables in the back of his head, he then realized that he was still plugged into the ship so he could try and dig up the info he wanted on Blair without Dodger catching on. He was hoping that she was alright and had left an open channel for him, he let his programming open enough to get into the ships database and locate her. Tagging her ship he could hear her sobbing on the floor, but because they hadn't put cams on the ship he couldn't see her, he willed her to get up to calm down, and wished deeply he could be there to help her to let her know he was safe and still himself.

He was back inside his own head before he was detected and staring at the ceiling, he sighed, deciding that he would play nice for the moment, eventually he would have to come across her again at the tower. So he kept his head low and earned the teams trust, they even seemed to admire Blair's skilled programming skills and asked about them, but he never had any answers that he would give them.

They had just returned from mars and had docked at the tower, as always as soon as he was on the lawn he scanned for her, five months, five long months and she was more gone then he had thought she would be, he had checked on her often making sure to do it while he was doing something else so that Jeff wouldn't have any suspicion, he had listen to her fight with herself, her ghost , even with cyde-6, throwing things was her newest thing, he often found that she talked to him as if he was there and could respond, and she would talk about her self in the third person. It was deadening to hear her like that and eventually he had to detach from it so he didn't go into a rage.

Today though like every time before she didn't come up on the scan, she wasn't any where on tower. Dodger stood by him and slapped his hand down on boe's shoulder “ I know who you're looking for and it's not going to happen, they see her has a threat and you're the only way to control her buddy, I feel for you” he said, boe looked him over deciding that dodger was being honest, “ I don't think I will be of much help controlling her for much longer, you've seen the reports, she's taking on missions that should take six of us and she is doing them alone” boe sighed “she has been lucky so far but for how much longer is that going to happen?”. Dodger gave boe a sympathetic look “ I can only imagine how you're feeling hearing that about your programmer” with that dodger walked after Jeff, their first stop was always the lounge for a bite a beer and crappy music. Boe how ever went to his and Blair's spot to stare at the horizon and monitor the relays of Blair's missions and check ins he always seemed to be holding his breath as he waited for her ghost to make the call in that the mission was completed and to relay her condition.

It was the same for another 4 months, then after docking from coming back from the moon he had decided to join the team in the lounge, he hadn't bothered to scan for her like he normally did. He was talking to Jeff as the two humans took their seats and ordered. He caught her walking out, but he couldn't believe his eyes, it was her and she was at the tower. Quickly he excused him self “ Blair?” he called after her but she didn't respond so he grabbed her wrist turning her, making sure that his back blocked his teams view of everything, but he saw the tears on her cheeks, she had seen him and was running away. He had to wonder what they had told her would happen if they saw each other. “ I have to go” she breather but he had started to pull her back to the darkest part of the lounge, and pushed her gently against the wall, he cupped her face caressing her flawless cheek, even he hadn't realized how much he had truly missed her, he leaned down and captured her lips in the softest of kisses while trying to infuse it with every bit of his longing and love into it.

For a moment she kissed him back taking it deeper, more passionate, and hungry for his touch, then just as quick she pulled away from him. “ Blair can't be here, she tried, but Blair has to be a good girl and do as they say, boe needs to be safe, have to keep him safe” she mumbled as she moved to to get around him. He caught her waste holding her between the wall and him. His fingers touching something warm and sticky. What that �" he thought to himself “ shh love you did good, I'm safe, I'm here, “ she shook her head wildly “ no no no boe can't be here, Blair keep him safe she can't ever see him, if she sees him, they will take him, they will destroy him, she can't let that happen, he holds her heart” she was getting louder as she talked to him and panic was lacing her voice. Gently he caressed her stepping closer to her and embracing her “ shh, my love, no one will no I promise” while he cooed to her trying to calm her and bring her back he looked at his hand and found it covered in blood. “ your hurt, why haven't you had this looked at ?” he asked her softly. He could feel her breath tickling his neck as she spoke “no one touches Blair but boe, he wouldn't like it if someone else was close to her” . he had to smile “ for something like this it would have been alright I want you safe, leaving it bleeding and open like this could hurt you” and just as he was telling her that she fell slack in his arms. He bent and lifted her up at the bend of her knees. Cradling her against him he moved to the couch and let her sleep.

It made him wonder when the last time she had actually slept was, Jeff chose that moment to interrupt his little reunion. He kept her face close to his neck so his team couldn't see who she was. “ I could take her off your hands buddy “ Jeff said with slurred speech, “ its not like you can do anything with her” Jeff added laughing. “ shes just drunk I'll see that she gets back to her ship in one piece” boe told him. “ humph. “ Jeff snorted “ I could to she would just be a little sore” Jeff said adding a sexual gesture letting his boys in on his innuendo. Boe had to keep from growling as he told his captain that he could handle this and watched as Jeff staggered out of the lounge

with them gone he sat there holding her close, looking down over the wound that was still seeping blood onto his own clothing, he sighed “ how lost are you my love” he breathed as he pulled a rag from his coat and pressed it to her side hard to put pressure on it. “ mm, don't fix it just let me be please” she said as she winced in pain. “ so you can feel pain” he teased her lightly “ you need stitches” he stated sternly. “ just let it be boe theirs no point there will just be more,” she sighed. “your having blackouts again” he said as he looked into her eyes, they seemed void of anything but sadness “ I spend more time in them then I do in myself, but it doesn't matter they get what they want, there missions are always completed, but I just can't die, the defective guardian just can't give in” she told him her voice tired. “ I have to go before someone realizes that my first time back on the tower I am disobeying them and we are together. I have to keep you safe, its the only thing I can do now, let me have that before even that is taken away”.

He pressed his forehead against hers “ I don't want to let you go again, you're losing yourself, and I monitor the reports just waiting to hear any news of you, its killing me to see you like this, let me come home, let me take care of you and love you, whose to say that in your next black out you don't do what they want and you end up hurting someone like a guardian.” he kissed her lightly “ I need to be with you, be apart of you, let me come home” he brushed his version of a kiss over her cheek. “ we can't, we don't know what they will do if we are back together” she felt warm in his arms.

“ what ever they throw at us, we will face together, I can't leave you to fall like this” he told her softly. “I'm just so tired” she breathed and fell back asleep again. Sighing heavily he summoned her ghost and they boarded her ship, looking around it was like a tornado had gone through and trashed everything. With her still in his arms he walked over to the bed and cleared everything off onto the floor then laid her down. Slowly he peeled her fighter suit off enough to look her side over. It already seemed like it was infected. He grumbled to himself as he went and found the med kit in the bathroom.

Sitting down next to her he gently started to clean her up, spraying disinfectant over the abused flesh, he pulled out a flash seal, it was like synthetic layer of skin that over time would become a living layer of skin, it sped up the healing process and was used in the more extreme cases like Blair's. Sitting back he smoothed her hair out of he face and smiled at her, she looked so peaceful and after hearing months of her tears it was wonderful to see her again. He looked around and figured that he should clean up before she woke up. Getting to his feet he started cleaning up the mess and scattered pieces of clutter and trash, putting clothes in the clothes hamper, he worked to clean up their ship till he heard her moving.

He set the trash in the cargo bay and went to sit next to her, making it just in time to see her opening her eyes, “ hey there, how are you feeling?” he gave her his best warm smile. She just looked up at him then moved to sit up wincing as she made the movements. “ easy” he gently told her as he moved out of her way so she had plenty of space. “ you can't be here” she said so softly and painfully quiet that he had to strain to listen. “no I need to be here, look at you, you're a mess, barely yourself,” he sighed “ look I think I am going to plead your case with Cayde-6 maybe he can help you. Because like this, you're not going to be any use to them” he said glaring down at her. He was angry at the council for this, for causing her so much distress that she was loosing what little sanity she had.

His shoulders slumped “sweetheart i'm just worried about you” he said gently. It was her turn to sigh but that simple act seemed to pain her “boe I couldn't be happier to see you, you know that but just by talking like this every mission i've gone on every black out i've suffered, it was for nothing because now they could dismantle you making everything for nothing.” her voice trembled. “you have to go even though that breaks my heart to say it” her luminescent eyes focused on the ground unable to look at the exo she so loved and wished more then anything to hold.

If he left she could pretend this was one of her hallucinations she could plead that she hadn't known it was really him and use her insanity to there benefit, but she had a feeling he wasn't going to let this go. The gentle touch of a cool hand under her chin to tilt her face to meet his told her she was right. “ there is no way I am going anywhere, not with you like this” he was looking into her eyes, the gaze comforting and made her chest hurt in a way that had become all to familiar, it made her lower lip tremble as tears threatened to stream down her cheeks. It was at this moment that the council on the main control board began to ping altering her that she had an incoming mission.

Her ghost appeared “ it would appear that cayde-6 had already found you another mission, and he is also inquiring about your where a bout's seems that Boe's captain has reported that he had gone MIA and is no where to be found on the tower.” the high tech metallic sphere told them, its one lens looking from to the other as if to point out the obvious. The silence fell heavily on the two, as Blair took one long last look at him before kissing his knuckles and then pushing his hand away. “ you should go” she repeated softly.

She ran her hands over her face wiping the tears away in the same motion. “ Cayde-6 is calling in” the ghost reported. She closed her eyes “i'll cover for you, tell them you were on a ship enjoying the company of another woman, that you think you need to move on” her voice wavered with the words. Boe was floored by her words, the tremble in her voice told him that she hated saying it but he knew she was still trying to do what was best for him at the expense of her own well being. He cupped her cheeks and kissed her softly, “ that's not going to happen, i'll figure something out, but I will be back for you, you can't keep going like this, I'm not going to lose you because you're looking out for me, i'm the one who is supposed to be looking out for you, so let me. Please”

she got to her feet and walked to the control panel and taped it “ Blair,” she said in a strong no none sense voice. Her back was to him and it hurt him but he knew she couldn't keep him waiting. “ seems your robot is on the fritz Blair, maybe its your faulty programming, you better hope that he shows up soon.” she barely looked over her shoulder at boe “ I wouldn't know anything about that sir, I just went to the lounge for a drink and came back to my empty ship, you're welcome to come up and have a look for yourself, I hear you have a mission for me? Is this one going to actually be a challenge

or is it just another walk in the park?” she taunted.

“ that's funny, you are going into the hive on the juggernaut, we need whats on there systems, I want to know what they know, and I got you a little gift for being such a good little girl, you're getting your very own bow subclass, I know you won't have a problem with it, hope you're a quick study” boe made a move to interject on her behalf but she held her hand up as if she already knew what he was going to do, which halted his movements. “ that doesn't sound too hard” she replied “ I am looking forward to it” she added. Cayde grunted “ oh and tell Boe this is the only time I am going to let this slide he better have his a*s back on his ship in the next few days,” there was pause “ for what it's worth Guardian I think you need him more than the council believes, i'm doing all I can to get you two back together, for now keep your contact with each other on the down low .” boe looked at her she seemed relieved “ I assure you I don't know what you're implying sir I haven't seen him, but thank you it's good to know that someone is on my side” with that the connection was cut off and she turned and looked at him.

“ now you don't have to plead my case” she said looking a little younger than she had. Boe rushed her and caught her up in his arms hugging her then captured her lips. She winced as pain shot up through her side, but she returned his kiss with fiery passion, her arms going around his neck. He held her tight as he broke away from the kiss “ I just have to be back in a few days I will turn up tomorrow I promise” he nuzzled her neck “ I will leave tomorrow” this time she didn't protest she welcomed him with open arms.

**********************

morning came all to quickly, and Boe wasn't sure he had the will to leave her again, yeah she was fine but she was going on another mission alone, without any kind of back, she seemed at peace with that, no one was willing to work with someone who was out of her mind when she held a gun. He layed there looking down at her sleeping face, taking note of the rise and fall of her chest and the soft curve of her hips, he gave off his impression of a smile as he remembered the soft mewing sounds she made as he caressed her. The gentle arch of her back as she took pleasure in their company. How the soft purple of her skin would deepen to an almost blue as she flushed.

He gently brushed her red hair from her face looking at the almost unnoticeable markings of her race by her eyes and the beautiful star pattern on her stomach, she was simply a work of art to him the perfect killing machine wrapped up in this beautiful creature, and she in turn had created him. He pulled the blanket up over her shoulders as he admired her. She was okay now, he just hoped her fire continued to see her through her mission and back to him. She shifted next to him causing him to smile again, he didn't want to leave her.

Cayde had made it clear that he had to show up in a few days or things could be bad for them both. Sighing he eased away from her and summoned his ghost “ take me to the tower” he said defeated he couldn't bring himself to look at her again as he left. He was back at the tower, his plan was to alter the work exos let them send word to cayde. If his plan worked he'd get to have a face to face with the legendary exo himself. He wandered back down to the lounge where they played some form of music he didn't too much care for and sat down on the couch.

With Blair's fun loving nature he could easily see her dancing to this crap simply because it was better than nothing at all. At heart she was a playful and carefree, the fact that they had to send her out to kill is what made her the way she was. His theory was that her mind couldn't handle all the chaos and grief she had been brought back to and it had broken her, the only way she could process it all was to turn it into a form of pleasure. That was her personality she loved freely, she gave freely, and to see awoken, human, and exo alike suffering, it had broken her, her mind wasn't meant to be in a place like this.

“ I see you found your way back to the tower” Caydes voice interrupted his thoughts. Boe just shrugged, “ I needed a place to clear my head where you guys weren't breathing down my neck” he replied offhandedly. He was going along with Blair on playing off not having been with her. Cayde stood there looking at him, hands on his hips and sighed “ i'm sure you did. This can't be easy on either of you.” he stated as he took a seat across from him “ all I can do is take her side and help her out, if I keep her busy the rest of the council leaves her alone. Which means they leave you alone and she doesn't have to threaten her further. I don't know how to handle her black outs or how to give her the medical care I know she needs, so I know she needs you.” he sat back.

Boe watched Cayde for a moment, unsure if he was being played with or not, finally he leaned forward “ she's not going to let anyone touch her because she doesn't trust any of you, and frankly I don't blame her” he let his words float heavily in the air. “ who's frankly?” was cayde's vain attempt a humor. He was normally very humorous, today he was just trying too hard it wasn't as fluid as it normally was. “ look kid all I can do is give a window here and there, i'll just pull you off a mission when she gets back and say your out on a mission for me that only you can do. Which you would be I just wouldn't be giving specifics in the reports. Deep cover and what not. And it would only be enough time as it required her injuries and to see where she stands mentally,” cayde explained.

“ you realize without someone there to keep her grounded this is only going to slow her mental instability until they decide she isn't the effort and send her to do something she isn't going to come back from.” he ground out in a low angered toned trying to keep from losing the calm he had been trying to maintain for almost a year now. “ Blair wasn't made for this crap. And I get the impression that before I came along she was alone, you and every Guardian out there dismissed her as broken. I bet you never once considered that she was one of the kindest awoken and her mind simply couldn't take this, did you?” his normally cool glow was shifting as his circuits started to heat up from his anger at there dismal of her.

“ in all honesty no, but we have had bigger things on our mind then one awoken's inability to cope with a crumbling world” cayde stated mater of factly. “ now you are punishing her for fixing a problem that you guys didn't even notice. She created a guardian who she trusted to keep her grounded who would have her back.” Boe shouted. “ she does that to help herself and all of a sudden she is a danger to herself. No she was in danger and you let her fall now you're covering your asses” boe crossed his arms over his broad chest. Cayde shook his head, “ you got me, you're right, good thing I don't care about the paperwork or covering my a*s. Every guardian counts and because she is who she is, we need her out in the field being the insane badass she is, but that also mean I need you looking out for her. So for right now, i'll be pulling you for missions I need down, meaning taking care of her. That will cover your a*s with jeff and the rest of them. I am going to try and pull some strings and maybe throw my weight around in the higher ups, I might get lucky and bust a few skulls to get my point across but I am going to try and get them to agree that you need to be with her and the we need her craziness the unique relationship she has created for herself to continue making head way in our war, are you willing to work with me or not?” he eyed boe from where he sat wondering what was going through his processors at that moment.

He sat silently for a moment longer, this could be what they needed if this worked. “ alright, and what's plan B should your plan fail, you going to leave Blair and me high and dry ?” Cayde looked taken aback. “ buddy i've taken bullets for crappy guardians under my watch, you and Blair are high quality i'd do just about anything to keep you guys functioning at peak performance. At the moment I am putting my career on the line so plan b is plan A is going to work” that seemed to sit well with boe, but his main focus was on Blair and her safety. “ fine, we need to find a way to get her back up, no more solo missions, she needs at least one person with her, shes blacking out during the missions now”

he was staring right at Cayde challenging him to say something.

“ she won't let anyone but you cover her, and her antics make it hard to have a guardian go with her” Cayde complained “ for now she is on her one, but you are going to be the voice on the other end of her com, I think I am going to see if I can't get you assigned some where on my team, we will have more breathing room that way, I doubt anyone is going to argue that one. i'll push the paper work as soon as I return. Until then you have to report to Jeff .” he stood and started to walk away then stopped “ oh you can act surprised can't you? Yeah I know you can” he left not giving Boe time to answer that .

He leaned back and threw an arm over his eyes 'this is crap' he thought to himself and he let himself process everything. At least someone was on her side other then him and it was good that they had some kind of plan going on. If it was just him alone there would be no way of knowing where him and Blair were going to end up. He guessed if all else failed he could always take Blair and disappear. Dragging himself to stand he summoned his ghost and ordered himself back to Jeff's ship where he was going to have to wait to see if Cayde could come through on his transfer papers.   

Reviews

[Daisy]

Very engaging story and well potrayal of the characters. Love it! Keep it up :)