Confession

Tommy's in the hospital and it doesn't look good. Before he dies, he needs to get some things off his chest...

After I got back to my hotel, I got a call from a number I didn't recognize. The woman on the phone said, "Hello Ian, this is Tom's wife, Ruthie."

"Oh, hi. How are you?"

"I'm alright. Tom is...not so much."

"Oh? What's wrong with him?"

"He had a heart attack. The doctors say he doesn't have much longer." She began to sound choked up. "I'm not sure why he wants to talk to you, but he told me to call you over here." She proceeded to give me directions to the hospital Tommy was checked into and asked me to pray for him.

When I got to the hospital, I found Tommy in a bed hooked up to multiple IV machines. "Hi Tommy," I said.

"Hey!"

"How are you feeling?"

"I'm fine, thanks. Uh, Ruthie? Could you give us a minute?"

"Sure. I love you!" she whimpered, then left the room, wiping her eyes.

"So you wanted to talk to me?"

"Yes. Listen close. I didn't want to just say this to any uninvolved person, because I don't want to leave the rest of the kids with the consequences."

"Kids?"

"Sorry. They're not kids anymore. The rest of the ex-singers. The former Maniacal Song members."

"Okay?"

"I just needed to get this off my chest. I'd go to confession if I were Catholic. But nonetheless, I need to tell somebody. And I trust you won't go to the police. Besides, I know you were interested in Gabe, so it makes sense for me to tell you if I'm going to tell someone."

"Tell me what? You can trust me."

"Tell you about Toby. Toby was-"

"The sixth member of the club. Got it." I wanted him to get to the point so he wouldn't die before he finished.

"You know about Toby? But how?"

"Jack accidentally mentioned his name and I found pictures of him and Eleanor."

"Oh. Well Toby was a large boy, as you've seen, and he was very strong. You know why we let him into the club?"

"So other people wouldn't find out about it. Yes, I know all about him. Except what happened to him."

"Well we were all quite mean to him. We didn't like him; it was like having a little kid around all the time, he was annoying and very childish. So everyone in the club picked on him, especially Gabe and, surprisingly, Jack Be Nimble. But one day the teasing went too far and Toby was crying but Gabe and Jack just wouldn't stop. Frank and I were kind of just watching quietly- didn't say anything. But Eleanor was defending him and trying to make him feel better, as she often did. But they didn't stop and Gabe finally said something- I don't even remember what- that struck a nerve with him somehow and he just attacked him.

"Toby was punching him over and over and over again, relentlessly. And Gabe was getting seriously damaged! And Frank didn't even like Gabe, but he got in a fight with Toby because he thought he could win. He wanted to impress Eleanor. Have you ever had a small dog and a big dog in the same house?"

"I've never had any dog."

"Well sometimes, one dog with think he's equal to the other dog, even I he's a lot smaller or a lot bigger. In this analogy, Toby is the big dog who thinks he's a puppy. He tries to do puppy things like jump on people's laps and sit on the furniture. He doesn't know his own strength. An that makes Frank the small dog. He's a chihuahua who tries to be a pit bull.

"But Frank wasn't really a chihuahua- that is, he wasn't necessarily small. Only compared to Toby he was. But Frank got into fights all the time. He loved to fight. He rarely lost a fight. But he'd never fought anyone as strong as Toby was. So you have Frank, all big-headed thinking he can't be beaten, and you have Toby, the size of Hercules but with the mind of a young child. I don't think I need to tell you who won there.

"So what did you do? What happened to Toby after all this the fighting was over?"

"We were trying to keep him away from Eleanor, because he was doing so much harm to Gabe and then even Frank, the fighter, imagine what he'd do to Eleanor if we let him! He could have beaten her to death! Probably any one of us, really!"

"So what did you do?"

"We tried to kick him out of the club, but he wouldn't go. He was trying to get after Eleanor... So we pushed him."

"Pushed him? Like, out of the treehouse?"

"We didn't mean to, but that's what happened."

"Did Toby...did Toby die?"

"Yes. At least that's what everyone thought."

"Why wasn't his body ever found then?"

"Wow. You really did your research."

"Yeah."

"I don't know what happened to the body, and that's the truth. Gabe said after everyone went home after that last club meeting, he went back to the treehouse to move the body. But when he got there, it was already gone. I don't know where it is now."

"Oh yeah, and...about Eleanor. What did Toby do to her?"

"Well I don't think he...he...I mean I don't...think..." He started to nod off.

"Ruthie!" I called into the hallway. She came running in, a look of horror on her face.

"I'm...I'm sorry, Ian, I've forgotten what we...were, uh..."

"Tom!" Ruthie cried. "Tom I'm right here! Hold on, please!"

"Ruthie? Oh, Ruthie, you look more beautiful than the day we first met!"

"I love you, Tom!" Tears welled up in her eyes.

"I love you more. Now kiss me already! I'm not gonna live forever, you know!" She sobbed, then kissed him passionately on the lips. The heart monitor flatlined.

I didn't know whether I should stay or go, but Ruthie continued to kiss his lifeless body for a few seconds, before collapsing over him tearfully. The doctors rushed in seconds later and we had to leave the room. I told Ruthie I was very sorry for her loss, and I was about to leave when she hugged me.

I hugged the tiny woman back and tried to soothe her. "It was the perfect way to end it."

I didn't know what she meant, but I nodded anyway, holding her head to my chest and letting her dry her tears with my shirt.

"It was the perfect way to end it," she said again, "because it was the same way we began."

Now I had to ask what she meant. After the doctors pronounced him dead, we went to the hospital cafeteria and I bought us each a cup of coffee.

"When Tommy and I met, there was an immediate attraction. I was eighteen and he was nineteen. God, that means we've been married for...sixty-one years!" She laughed a sad, nostalgic laugh and wiped her eyes. "We started courting almost immediately after we met and were married less than a year later. But our first kiss... I remember it vividly. He was the only man I've ever kissed in my entire life. It was after a Christmas party that was being held at Tommy's house. We got snowed in and we were all stuck in Tommy's living room. Everyone fell asleep, and we were the last ones up. We talked for hours and hours. It must have been at least three in the morning before either of us fell asleep. I remember, we were talking about our pets. We both had beagles who had died recently. I was telling him all about my old dog, Spot, and how sad I'd been after he died and Tommy suddenly kissed me. He said it was too late at night to be crying. He said Christmas was supposed to be a happy time, not a time to dwell on loss. He kissed me again, the same way he did just now, and then fell asleep."

She had a sort of lonely smile on her face as she recalled her past experiences with him. "Just think. That was over sixty years ago, but I can remember it as if it were five minutes ago. And five minutes ago he really was here, kissing me again like he had that night. Five minutes ago! And now, suddenly, he's gone! There's no transition. There's no time for you to get used to it. It's just one minute you're showing your affection for each other like two teenagers, and suddenly he's gone and everyone says he's lived a good, long life."

I nodded sympathetically. It pained me to see such a sweet old woman in such misery. She told me to come back to her house because Tommy had left something for me in his will. I was surprised that I'd had such an impact on him less than a month ago that he'd change his will for me.

We got home, and Ruthie read the will. "He says he wants to give you his gold coin necklace."

She handed me the necklace and I thanked her. I told her to feel free to call me if she ever needed anything or just wanted to talk. I left Tommy's house knowing little more than what I had already guessed for myself.