Frozen Tears

A sad Christmas story about a young woman in the late 1800s.

A party of friends and relatives were gathered around a fireplace. They all had broad smiles; they had been reminiscing their past Christmases, together, and otherwise. A young woman with vibrant red hair sat in the old rocking chair. Her eyes lit up and a faint smile touched her lips…but then it vanished. She had a distant look in her eyes, as she relived a memory. After a moment she shook her head and wiped her eye with her hand. She tried to pay attention to the rest of her cousin’s story. There was chuckling from several of the other people, but she did not know why. It was too late; she had missed the end of his story.

“I have got to stop daydreaming,” she said softly.

“Ah, don’t feel bad, Mary,” said her cousin with a grin. “It was only the most fantastic Christmas story that you missed. You must be tired, I suppose.”

“No,” she said looking him in the eye, “not at all. I was just remembering something. My own Christmas story.”

“Well then why not share it with us?” asked a husky man on the couch.

“Yes, it must be interesting if it had you in such a trance!” her cousin said with a smirk

.

She thought for a moment…then she spoke. “Alright,” she said smiling. “Alright, I will tell you. You will have to forgive me, though, if I tear-up. It was the most emotional Christmas of my life. In fact, it was the most emotional period of my life all together.”

“Ah, you’re teasing us!” her cousin grinned.

“No, Jack, I’m not. I am being absolutely sincere,” she said.

“Well then how come I’ve never heard about this?”

“Nobody has, Jack. It was too much. Nobody except Aunt Beth and Uncle Thomas have heard about this. And James.” Everybody in the room turned their attention to a young, blonde man sitting in a chair across from the couch. He looked directly at Mary, his eyes wide.

“Oh. Okay. You can go ahead then,” said Jack.

She began: “It was five years ago, Christmas 1892. It was the year I spent Christmas in America with Aunt Beth and Uncle Thomas. I had begged Mother to let me stay with them. I had been there once before, that past summer, and I had loved it. After I finally convinced Mother to let me go, I was only sixteen after all, I spent the entire rest of the week excited for it. I talked of nothing else. When the day finally arrived for me to go-”

*****

“But you never told me anything emotional happened on that trip!” Jack cried with a frown. “You said you had a wonderful time, and that’s it!”

“I told you! It was too upsetting to talk about! Now do you want me to tell you or not?”

“Oh yeah. Go on.”

“Are you sure?” she asked with her eyebrows raised.

“Yes, yes, I’m sure. Go ahead.”

She continued. “Where was I? Oh yes. When the day finally arrived for me to go to America, I was ecstatic. I was so anxious to get there that for the entire boat ride I talked to the poor man next to me about how wonderful it was going to be! He didn’t have too much to say…poor fellow. I’m positive he was tired of hearing me talk about how happy I was to be going to America and how I couldn’t wait to see my aunt and uncle. “I hardly ever get to see Aunt Beth since she married Uncle Thomas. He’s an American you know,” I said.

“Fascinating,” the man said.

“Don’t get me wrong. Uncle Thomas is great. That’s why I am going to visit them. And of course so I can see Aunt Beth!” Thinking back, I can see how annoying I must have sounded.

Anyway, when the boat arrived in New York I wished the man- Fred was his name- I wished Fred good luck and happy holidays. He told me he hoped I had as wonderful a time with my aunt and uncle as I had hoped. I thanked him and he hurried off the ship.

Uncle Thomas seemed rather surprised when he arrived at the dock and I was yelling “Goodbye Fred!”, but Aunt Beth just laughed. “Goodbye Fred!” she called out.

“Aunt Beth!” I exclaimed, and hugged her. Then I hugged Uncle Thomas, as well.

“I’m so glad you decided to stay with us!” Uncle Thomas said, happy.

“Me too!” Aunt Beth said.

“Me too!” I said and hugged them again.

That night, December 22, after having spent all day with Aunt and Uncle, I was up in the guest room of their house. I gazed out the window at the delicately falling snow. The beautiful pond looked even more beautiful frozen. I sighed at the beautiful scene. It was very picturesque. Then, I noticed a boy skating at the edge of the pond. He was very good. I smiled. I wished I could skate like that, but I had honestly never tried.”

*****

“How had you never been ice skating at age sixteen?” asked Jack. “I just hadn’t.”

“But-”

“Jack!” Mary scolded. He bowed his head. A few people snickered.

“As I was saying…I pictured myself skating the way he did. It was so amazing to me, and impressive. Some other people started to come out to the pond. It looked like such fun! I so wished that I could join them. So I ran halfway down the stairs, then walked. “Aunt Beth?” I said. “There seems to be a party going on at the pond. May I please go?”

“What sort of party?” asked Uncle Thomas.

“Well…not exactly a party. It’s a figure skating party.” I said. “Well…,” Aunt Beth said, considering my question.

“I don’t see why not,” said Uncle Thomas.

“Oh, alright. Go ahead,” said Aunt Beth. “Oh thank you!” I said, overjoyed. I hugged Uncle Thomas and darted out the door. “You’re welcome,” he said, as I hurried down the porch steps.

I ran down the snow-covered hill. As soon as I got to the bottom, I realized something rather disappointing. I didn’t have any skates. I trudged back up the hill and through the door. “What’s the matter?” Uncle Thomas asked, reading my expression. “I don’t have any skates,” I said gloomily. He laughed.

“Well I’m sure your aunt has some you can borrow,” he said. “Beth?”

I sprinted down the hill a second time, this time with beautiful white skates in my hand. When I got to the bottom of the hill, I sat and put them on. I smiled a wide smile. It was a perfect fit.

The moment my foot touched the ice, I was sliding out of control. I flailed my arms desperately. I felt my heavy skates slipping out from under me. I let out a little yelp and before I knew it, I was in the warm arms of some boy. “It’s okay,” he said, “I’ve got you.” I held his hand, which felt strong, even through both our mittens, and turned around to face him. I realized that he was the boy I had seen through my window. I slipped again. He caught me again. “Thank you,” I said with a giggle.

“You’re very welcome,” he said. His American accent was so beautiful to my British ears. His voice was so sweet and deep. He was beautiful. I wondered if all American men were so beautiful. Uncle Thomas was very handsome, as well. I soon found out the answer was no, and only some very special American men are.”

*****

With that she grinned at the blonde man and their eyes locked. “Mary?” said Jack. “Was it James?” he asked.

“No,” she said.

“Then who?”

“I was just getting to that,” she said, sounding slightly annoyed.

“I’m Mary,” I said looking into his big, green eyes.

“Nice to meet you, Mary,” he said. “I’m Christopher.”

“Hi Christopher!” I said stupidly. He laughed.

“Hi!”

“I’m really sorry. I have never ice skated before, and I guess I don’t know how,” I said.

“Where are you from?” he asked me.

“She’s from England, of course!” said one of his friends. “How did you know?” I asked, shocked.

“Your accent. It’s beautiful,” he said. Of course! I thought. I had just never thought of myself as having an accent.

“Oh,” said Christopher sheepishly. I realize now I had completely ignored his friend’s compliment. I’m sorry about that.”

*****

“It’s quite alright,” said the blonde man. Many people’s eyebrows shot up. Some gasped. One cried “YOU?”

“Yes, Jack. It was me. I was the friend.”

“Wow, you poor fellow!” he turned back to Mary. “You mean to tell me that the very first time you and James met he said that your accent was beautiful, and you didn’t even return the compliment?” “I know, I know. I was hypnotized by Christopher,” she said.

“My best friend,” said James.

“That had to hurt!” said Jack.

“It did a little…but I didn’t mind too much. I was honored to be hurt by such a beautiful creature.”

“Oh James!” Mary cried.

“Yuck! Okay just carry on with your story,” said Jack.

“Christopher placed his hands delicately on my waist. “As for you not knowing how to skate,” he said, “it’s never too late to learn.” We skated all night. James and we were the last ones there. When I finally noticed that, I told Christopher I should head home. “Goodbye, Christopher,” I said longing to stay.

“Goodbye, Mary.”

“Goodbye, Mary!” cried James. As I started up the hill Christopher cried, “Wait!” I turned around, dying to hear what he was about to say. “There is a Christmas Eve ball at the hall. I really hope you can attend.”

“When is it?” I asked.

“Christmas Eve,” he said with a slight smirk. Of course it was Christmas Eve! “Oh yeah,” I said, embarrassed. “I’ll be there!” I said, hoping with all my heart that Aunt Beth and Uncle Thomas would allow me to go. “Great!” he said with a smile. “Goodbye!” I waved and made my way back up to the house. I looked at the clock. It was 12:30 at night! How could I not be tired? It would have been at least 6:30 a.m. in England! But when I got there, I flopped down on the guest room bed. I stared at the ceiling and played back the entire evening in my mind.”

*****

“That’s so sweet!” said a petite blonde girl. “I can’t believe you never told me about this! I’m your best friend!”

“I have a good reason, Louise,” said Mary.

“Like what?” asked Louise, looking somewhat hurt.

“You’ll see.” said Mary sadly.

“Alright,” she said slowly.

Mary resumed her recollection. “The next day was a Tuesday, I believe. The day went by pretty fast. I helped Aunt Beth and Uncle Thomas trim the tree, then Uncle Thomas asked me about my life and school. We had a nice talk. After that, Aunt Beth asked how skating had gone the night before. I was hesitant at first, but once I began talking I couldn’t stop. I told her every detail of the night before. She said, “Awww, that’s so sweet!” She smiled. I grinned back at her. We must have talked for hours. I went on and on about Christopher’s green eyes and his dark brown hair and his adorable accent and his lips that looked so soft! I even told her about his strong hands underneath his warm, fuzzy mittens. She told me about how she met Uncle Thomas. It was really sweet, and nice to get to talk to her like that. So openly.

That night, I went skating again. I quickly found Christopher and his friend, James. Christopher and I skated together again- hand in hand. He was behind me, holding my hands from the back. I looked up at his handsome face. He smiled down at me. “You look really beautiful,” he said. I thought I was going to melt.

“So do you,” I said. He raised an eyebrow. “I mean-”

“I know what you mean,” he interrupted with a smile. His eyes were glowing. “I’ll be right back,” he said.

I practiced while he was gone. I tried to do a twirl, but instead I ended up falling again. Only this time, instead of a handsome prince rescuing me, I ran right into his friend, knocking him over. Our heads hit. I pushed up with my arms. He just stared at me with wide, blue eyes as I struggled to get up. “I’m so sorry!” I said, embarrassed.

“Don’t worry,” he said, “I’m alright.” I saw a trickle of red stream down his head.

“You’re bleeding!” I exclaimed. “I’m fine, really!” he said, wiping the blood.”

*****

“Didn’t it hurt?” asked Jack.

“Oh, it hurt,” said James. “But I could never tell her that. I had to pretend that nothing could hurt me. I wanted to impress her.”

“I knew you weren’t fine!” cried Rose, with a slight smile.

“No you did not!” James teased.

“Oh will you just get back to the story already?!?” exclaimed Jack. “You’re the one who interrupted, lad,” said the husky man.

“Oh!” Jack said, then sighed.

“Please continue, Mary,” said Louise.

“Very well,” said Mary.

“Are you sure you’re okay?” I asked, concerned.

“Positive,” James said with a grin. Just then, Christopher returned. “What happened, James?” he asked, surprised.

“Oh, it was nothing,” James said.

“You had better get cleaned up,” said Christopher. James hesitated, looking at me, then he walked away through the snow. My gaze returned to the wonderful Christopher.

It got late again before we realized it. We were the only people there, just like the night before. But this time there was no James. I didn’t want to leave, even though I knew I should. We skated together, now, hand in hand, face to face.

His eyes were glowing again, his smile was wide, then his lips trembled closed. My eyes were wide. I didn’t take them from his for a second. I don’t think I could have if I had tried. He leaned his head toward me and he seemed to be moving slower than everything else. It seemed as if time had frozen. Suddenly, his lips were gently pressed against mine. They were as soft as they looked. It seemed to last forever, instead of only a few seconds. I memorized the scene behind him then my eyes fell shut.

Then, as suddenly as it had begun, it was over. Our eyes locked again. Then, he pulled me closer to him. I laid my head on his shoulder and closed my eyes. He was so warm in the freezing cold night, I could have fallen asleep in his arms. I think I began to, actually, because suddenly my eyes shot open and my head jerked up. “What’s wrong?” he asked in his lovely harmonic voice.

“I think,” I said slowly, because I wasn’t quite sure if I was dreaming. “I think I’m getting tired.”

“Oh I’m sorry!” he said. “It’s getting really late! You didn’t have to stay out here with me,” he said sweetly.

“No!” I said. “I mean I know. I wanted to. I just think I should probably go to sleep now.”

“I’ll walk you home,” he said, even though it was only up the hill, and it wasn’t really my home.

Then I realized that I hadn’t mentioned that to Christopher yet. Poor Christopher! What if he thought I lived there? What if he thought we would be able to live there, together, forever? What if we could? “Christopher,” I said, “this isn’t actually my home.” “No?” he said looking confused.

“I still live in England,” I said, wishing it wasn’t true.

“Oh,” he said sounding slightly disappointed.

By that time we were already on the porch. “I’ll talk to you about this more later,” I said, still feeling like I might be dreaming. “Okay,” he said. “Goodnight. Will I see you tomorrow?”

“Of course,” I said. “Goodnight.” I went inside, walked up to the guest room, and watched him leave through my window. Then I lay down and immediately fell into a deep slumber.

While I slept, I dreamt about him.

We saw each other on the pond. As soon as we joined hands, everyone else disappeared. Except for James. He watched us. All night. Then even he was gone. We didn’t talk. We kissed for a long time. When I opened my eyes everything was gone. Christopher and I were floating in blackness. There is a loud buzz, like the one on the boat. I was crying and screaming “NOOO!” I was at home. Christopher was gone. I was crying. Somebody was saying my name. There was an American accent. Christopher? No. Uncle Thomas. Uncle Thomas.

I blinked. I was in the guest room bed. Uncle Thomas was knelt next to me. It was a dream. No, wait. Some of it was real. The first part, before I fell asleep. “You’ve been sleeping for a long time,” said Uncle Thomas.

“What time is it?” I asked, drearily.

“Nearly noon,” he said.

“Noon?!? It couldn’t be! I’ve just fallen asleep!”

It was a long, tired couple of hours. Then Aunt Beth and I gossiped more. I met with Christopher again that night. We kissed again. It was fantastic. I knew this time, that it was real.

I spent the whole Christmas Eve talking and thinking about the ball. Aunt Beth and I made cookies. Then we went shopping, since I hadn’t packed a ball gown. I found the perfect green gown. It matched Christopher’s eyes. It was my new favorite color.

It was a long, cold walk to the ball, but it was well worth it. When I got there I have to admit I was slightly intimidated by all of the beautiful American girls. Then I saw Christopher. My heart stopped. I could barely breath! He looked so amazing in his suit and polished shoes. He saw me, too. He grinned widely. We danced for hours and hours. We even danced outside. It was cold, so he gave me his jacket. Out of nowhere, a terrible blizzard started. We went inside. He introduced me to his friends. We talked for more hours. While we were sitting, James came up to us. He looked nervous. “May I have this dance?” he asked, shyly. I looked at Christopher. “Go ahead,” he said. James and I danced for a while. We talked while we danced. I really got to know him better.

Later, while Christopher and I were dancing, he told me he loved me. He said I was the most special girl he had ever met. I said I loved him too, and I meant it.

When Christopher was in the bathroom, James talked to me. I told him what Christopher had said. “Yeah, I wonder how many girls he said that to tonight.”

“What?” I said, unbelievingly. But the more I pictured it, the more I started to believe it. Christopher seemed sincere, but he was smart, charming, and incredibly handsome. Any girl he said that to would want to believe it.

Christopher came out of the bathroom smiling. “HOW COULD YOU?!?” I cried. My lip trembled.

“What are you talking about?” he asked, like anyone would. “YOU LIED TO ME! YOU DON’T LOVE ME! YOU DON’T LOVE ME ANY MORE THAN YOU LOVE ANY OF THESE GIRLS!”

“WHAT?!?” he asked. He stepped closer. I turned and ran away, out the door.

I ran through the snow, which was hard to do with the storm still going on. He ran after me. “MARY!” he cried. “Mary wait!” I ignored him. “Mary! Let me explain!”

“I don’t want to hear it!” I said, tears streaming down my face as I ran. “I thought you really loved me! I was really falling for you!” “Mary! I do love you!”

“NO!” I yelled back, feeling like I had a snowball stuck in my throat. I swallowed. I was really choked up.

He kept yelling after me. I couldn’t even yell back anymore. I felt my tears freezing to my cheek like ice sickles. His voice grew hoarse and quieter. “Mary! Mary wait!” I heard it over and over. It only made me cry harder. I heard a thud. I automatically spun around. He struggled and stood up. He had snow everywhere. I turned back around and kept running until I got back to the house.

I’m not sure exactly when or where, but somewhere I lost him. I ran directly to my room and flopped down on my bed and cried. I realized I was still wearing his coat over my own. I shoved the window open and threw it out. I forced the window to shut, then I watched the wind blow his coat away.

I lay with my face buried in the pillow. I began to warm up and my tears melted. I cried myself to sleep that night.

I woke up very early the next day. I stretched and yawned. I looked out the window. It was still dark. I walked slowly down the stairs and looked at the clock. It was 1:04 in the morning. I made myself a glass of heated milk and went back to bed.

I woke up again later, and it was still dark. I went downstairs and looked at the clock again. 5:15. This time I went back upstairs and sat awake. I gazed out the window. Then I remembered the previous night. I sat there, feeling very melancholy. I stared out the window and watched the sun rise.

All of the sudden, a chill ran up my spine. Someone was walking up the hill. My heart stopped. Then I let out my breathe. It was only James. I heard the buzzer and frowned. I scurried down the steps and opened the door. “Mary!” James said loudly. “Shhhhh! You could wake Aunt Beth and Uncle Thomas!” I whispered. “What is it?”

“Mary,” he whispered, sounding panicked, “I need to talk to you.” “James,” I said flatly.

“It’s really important!” There was an urgency in his voice.

“Alright hold on.” I went back into the guest room and put on my coat. I went back downstairs to James and we stepped outside. The blizzard had just stopped. I closed the door behind us. “Yes?” I asked impatiently. “Mary, I didn’t mean what I said last night. I was really drunk and...and I was jealous. I didn’t mean any of it! I know for a fact that he has never said that to any other girl! He has even told me how much he…loves you. He said that he thinks he is really in love. He has told me that you are ‘the one’,” he said quickly.

“Did Christopher send you here?” I asked.

“NO!” he said, his eyebrows up.

“Whatever,” I said coldly.

“He didn’t! Mary! I swear!” I looked into his eyes. There was a look of desperation, like he needed me to believe him. I thought about it and I knew that he was being sincere. I knew Christopher would never hurt me. “Alright. I believe you. I have to go apologize to him,” I said. “Mary,” James said sadly.

“What?” I said, scared of what he would say next.

“Christopher is missing. He went after you last night, and he never came back.”

“What? NO! You’re lying again!”

“I’m not.” He wasn’t. “We searched all up and down the trail from here to the hall. There’s no trace of him.” Then I remembered something: we had sort of wandered off of the trail. It was so windy it was hard to walk straight and you could not see the trail under the snow. “Stay there!” I cried and ran off. I wanted to apologize to Christopher and find him alone. I walked in a sort of diagonal line against the way the wind had been blowing.

After about fifteen minutes, I saw the back of Christopher’s suit. He was on his knees. I sprinted to where he was. “Christopher!” I cried. He struggled to stand. He turned and staggered toward me. He touched my cheek. His hand was freezing. “I love you,” he whispered faintly. His eyes no longer glowed. They were now glassy and foggy. His lips were blue and no longer looked soft. He had snow in his thick, dark hair. There was frost on his face. No matter. I was overjoyed that I had found him and he was okay. “I know you do,” I said and smiled.

“Mary. I will always love you.”

“I know! I love you too!” I giggled. “Let’s get you home now,” I said happily. My grin was broad and wide. “I’m sorry, Mary. I’m so sorry.” I giggled again.

“Don’t be sorry, Christopher! I know it wasn’t true! Let’s go home, Christopher.”

He stared into my eyes. His looked frosty and a paler green than usual. Then he fell backward into the snow. My grin vanished. “CHRISTOPHER!!!” I scream in horror. I drop down beside him. There were big frozen tears on his face. I looked into his misty eyes. I touched his face. It felt cold and hard. He wasn’t breathing. I took his pulse. There wasn’t one. “NO!” I screamed in disbelief. He couldn’t be dead! He couldn’t! I refused to believe it. I used all my strength to drag him back to the house, since it was closer than his. I wouldn’t cry. This was supposed to be happy. I had found Christopher and we were truly in love. It was Christmas morning. This was not really happening! I finally got to the house and took Christopher inside. When I got there James was on our couch and Aunt Beth and Uncle Thomas were awake. They all looked anxious, especially James.

“Christopher!” he shouted. “No!”

“He’s not dead!” I screamed.

“Oh, Mary!” cried Aunt Beth sadly as she sprung up to comfort me.

“He’s not dead!” I said again. “You think he’s dead but he’s alive! He’s alive! I know he is! He has to be!”

“You poor thing!” said Aunt Beth.

“Stop it! I’m not a poor thing! You think he’s dead, Aunt Beth! I know you do! I know you don’t believe me! But it’s true! He’s really alive! I swear he is!” I cry desperately, tears streaming down my face.

“I believe you,” said Uncle Thomas, glancing at Aunt Beth.

“No you don’t! You’re just saying that! You don’t really believe me! You think I’m crazy, but I’m not! I’m not!”

“Oh my Lord,” cried James.

“He’s alive, isn’t he James! Isn’t he!”

“He’s dead.”

“NOOOOO!!!” I screeched, falling to the floor. Aunt Beth and Uncle Thomas tried to comfort me, but I pushed them away. They left me alone. I stood up and walked over to James. “You!” I yelled.

“I am so, so sorry!” cried James, tears pouring out of his eyes. “Mary! I’m sorry! I love you! Oh Christopher! Oh Mary!”

“THIS IS ALL YOUR FAULT!!!” I explode. “I HATE YOU!” And James left, taking Christopher with him.

I stayed in the guest room all day. I looked out the window at the pond and the people skating, and I bawled. This had to be a nightmare! But it was real. I hated James. If he hadn’t told me all of those stupid lies, Christopher would be alive. But I hated myself even more. If I had let Christopher explain, if I had given him back his coat, if I had even thought it through…I wanted to die too.

The next day I was upset and needed someone to mourn with. I told James I forgive him and we cried together at Christopher’s house. He was 18, so his parents didn’t live there. Then, James said he would be right back and got up.

He came back with a box, all wrapped up. He told me that Christopher was going to give it to me. I cried as I unwrapped it. It was a beautiful diamond ring. I cried even harder. “He was going to ask you to marry him,” said James.

“I wish. I wish you hadn’t told me that.” I said between sobs. I would have said yes. James hugged me tight and let me cry on his shoulder. He kissed my head and told me it would be alright.

I went home the next day and acted like nothing had ever happened. I didn’t even get to stay for his funeral. Two years later, I went back to America because Uncle Thomas’s mother was dying. I stayed for two months. That was when James and I got engaged.

I love James with all my heart. But I will never stop loving Christopher.”

*****

Mary now looked up with tears streaming down her face and dripping into her lap. She looked around the room. Everyone stared at her, speechless. Even Jack. Her mother and father and the husky man on the couch all had tears in their eyes. James, Jack, and Louise had them on their cheeks.

“I loved Christopher. That is why I never told anyone. It hurts too much. I will never forget his glowing green eyes, his soft lips, his fluffy brown hair, and his frozen tears.”

Author's Note

Please review! Any suggestions on how to improve would be appreciated.

Reviews

[weirdguyblueeyes]

I don't know how you manage to take a bunch of words and make me cry. This is incredible. You are my role model!

[teardrop]

such an wonderful write.

[InsanityWriter]

The ending was positively beautiful. :) Amazing write. ^_^

[Westminster Abbey]

I can't even begin to describe how AMAZING this story was! You, my friend, have true talent. 100/100

[Eliott]

Thank you! :) I started writing it one day and couldn't stop.

[Felicity's Eve]

This is incredible! You should be proud of this.

The pain, the joy; I could feel it all. :)

100/100

[Jordan's Back]

This is a very remarkable piece. you made Mary's Pain and sorrow quite real to me and Poor Aunt Beth. This was just a damned awesome write. It made me cry

[Eliott]

Please review!!!