Prologue

There were three of them in the room, just sitting where they had been two hours before, silent as the grave. The man who checked on them was the youngest of the four in the room he stood in. His name was Devon, but that was an unimportant detail. He wasn't important, just hired help, so to say. His older brother was one of the masterminds of the whole kidnapping thing. 

He still didn't really understand why they had done it, but he knew that they were all going to end up either in prison or dead. He also knew his brother and his creepy friends were hoping to earn a huge pay day. 

Devon sighed as he turned from the window, wishing there was some way he could get them out and let them go home. But, he also knew if he did that he was screwed for life. And that was something he wasn't willing to go down for, especially not for his dumbass brother, Jackson, and his idiot friends, Vance and Leon. 

He started to pace the room, not bothering to notice how intensely Vance and Leon were staring at him, as if he were a toy to be played with and then disposed of. But if he'd observed that he might have taken note of his brother not being anywhere in his line of sight. 

But he didn't. 

And it almost cost him his life. "Devon," Jackson said, and Devon froze in his pacing, turning to stare at his older brother questioningly. 

"Jackson, this is wrong," he blurted. "We should let them out. We can't keep this up, Jackson. It's just. . .wrong." 

Jackson smiled, laying a heavy hand on Devon's shoulder. "Don't worry, Devon. Everything's going to be just fine. It doesn't need to concern you." He flashed Vance and Leon a quick smile before he smashed a crowbar into the side of Devon's head. 

Devon fell to the floor, pain slamming into his head and blurring his vision. He heard a loud, piercing noise, not realizing that it was coming from him, from his pain, from the merciless way Jackson had tried to kill him, as he faded into comforting unconsciousness.

Reviews

[Daydreamer54]

paining slamming-pain slammed.
You mentioned this words repeatedly: worry, notice. Try finding a substitue for these words. other than that, it's good.