Merewyn

[Mare-eh-win] This is another freeverse poem done in Creative Writing Class. It's a story of one sister's passion to avenge the sister she lost.

 

Merewyn

 

A challenge lies ahead for her

Sword in hand, she charges

A sister fallen, the enemy lives

For her, this is revenge.

 

The clash of swords on armour

Rings throughout her land

A throne, a name, she must defend

But, for her, this is revenge.

 

Tall and glaring he stands,

To stare down at her battle plans

No chance she’ll let him get away

Because, for her, this is revenge.

 

Soldiers’ bodies cover the ground

But the sound of metal remains.

One last battle to turn it around

Go on, for her this is revenge.

 

An image of an angel,

A sister that could not stay,

Weeps tears that fall as rain

Because there should not be revenge.

 

Tired, weak, and beaten down

The hero will not retreat.

“For Honour!” she shouts, nearly falling apart.

This must be her revenge.

 

One last slash of the blade,

Then silence in the glade

As the enemy stands so tall

 

Merewyn falls, with a hand on her heart.

“You’ll see me again!” she vows,

“I have yet to seek revenge.”

Author's Note

Did you see these images in your head?

Reviews

[Dan Bullock]

Yes, those images are there and with a very strong finish....fires up the flames of imagination and fuels the final fight....excuse my alliteration but it works beautifully.

One last slash of the blade,
Then silence in the glade
As the enemy stands so tall

Merewyn falls, with a hand on her heart.
"You'll see me again!" she vows,
"I have yet to seek revenge."


Is immense.

[Pink Poison]

I can see the images. You've done a great job setting the poem in a time and place. The repeating last refrain on nearly every stanza, with slight variations adds a lot to the poem. It gives it a theme and a cohesiveness. I really like it.

[Scott H.]

Wildflouer's friend #2 :P I definately see the battlefield imagery. And actually, the last line doesn't throw me at all - I take it to mean that even though she has fallen, she will continue to seek her vengeance from beyond the pale. It was a good read all-around.

My only nit-pick, and it is just me being anal-rententive, if you are going to spell honour 'honour; then you should also spell armor 'armour', but that's just me.

[Justin Tobey]

Hello! :D Wildfleour's friend # 1. I thoroughly enjoyed this piece. I could clearly see a battlefield and feel all the emotions. The final line threw me off a bit as well, but it in no way takes away from the piece. Also, I'd consider putting it to the left instead of centered, because poems in centered form generally rhyme, so I was looking for rhymes and structured rhythms the entire time, taking away from the overall effect of the piece.

An enjoyable read. :)

[Wildfleour]

I see the images and I love it. My only critique - I'm not sure the last line is necessary. I am going to send some of my "friends" here to look at this piece.

xxx