Eternal flame

A short story of love and family.

Eternal flame.

 

When a policeman comes to your front door it always sets you on edge, makes you involuntarily think the worst straight away. In my case it was. Sam being a fireman always worried me, never knowing if he'd come home. Being an orphan from the age of seven I had a fear of being alone, I knew Sam could look after himself but there was always an uneasy feeling when he was called out on a job. With only my wedding ring for family I held on to it tight. The constable removed his hat as I closed my eyes and my heart sank, knowing what was coming. He sat me down and broke the news gently, telling me how it happened. Turns out Sam died a hero, saving an elderly couple from their blazing inferno of a home. My eyes welled as I thought of how much I loved him and how I'd never get to say goodbye. A hero, my hero.

 

"My dear, I don't know what I can say to make you feel better. Sam's in a comfortable place now covered in flowers I know he'd love."

"Thank you Mrs Price. The sun is shining so brightly today, Sam always said when he's happy the sun is happy." Remembering his smile brought a tear down my cheek. Mrs Price had been so kind. The day after I heard that awful news Mr and Mrs Price came to visit me, they were the last people to see him alive as he brought them out of their burning home.

"It's hard to believe it's been two months already." Mrs Price said delicately, as she handed me a cup of tea.

"Thank you," I said as I relished the first sip of hot sweet tea. "I know, it's been two months but it feels a lifetime."

"It'll get easier with time. I know it's hard to hear but it will. Sam won't want you to grieve for the rest of your life." Mrs Price said as she held my free hand. "I'll tell you something else too," she added. "You really don't have to call me Mrs Price, I'm Betty to my friends."

"Oh Betty," I paused and smiled at her. "I know, you're right. It's just been so hard being on my own at home and with me being under the weather these last few weeks, it's really been getting on top of me." Giving her hand a squeeze I let go to have another sip of tea.

"I'm sorry to hear you're not well deary. Nothing serious I hope." Betty's face was etched with concern.

"No not at all, just being 'ill' every morning and being a little light headed in the afternoons, I'm sure it will pass."

Betty looked at me enquiringly, put down her tea on the table and leant towards me. "Are you pregnant deary?" She whispered so Robert, Mr Price, couldn't hear from the next room.

My mouth dropped, it felt like my heart had stopped. Pregnant. Could I be? "I...I...I don't know. I don't see how, there's been no one..." I stammered. "Do you think I could be?" I added raising my hand to my face.

"It certainly sounds like it my dear, you have all the symptoms. Tell you what, tomorrow let's get you tested and find out. I'll let Robert know we're borrowing the car tomorrow." With a smile and a reassuring hug Betty disappeared.

A week later it was confirmed. Four months in, five to go. The thought of being a mummy was scary but at the same time I was excited. I had so much to think about and do, as well as create a nursery and make my home safe for an infant. Having Betty and Robert around me was so comforting, they helped me every step of the way and they even moved in to my spare room so I wasn't alone. Robert was a whiz at DIY as he handmade a cot, a bookshelf and a small chair and table. We made a great team all of us. Robert the carpenter, Betty the painter and me the waddling tea maker. As time went on we became very close and I decided that I wanted these lovely people to stay in mine and the baby's life after the birth and beyond. "My dear, nothing would give us greater pleasure," Betty sobbed. "Sorry, excuse me." I watched and smiled after Betty as she hurriedly left the room as fresh tears threatened to explode.

 

"Ellie," I turned to see Robert close behind me. "While Betty isn't here," he whispered, "I want to say thank you. When we were married I was told that I could not reproduce. Until this day Betty has never once held it against me. She always wanted a family. But despite my inability to give her what she always wanted, she stayed." Robert paused to wipe the tears from his eyes. Guiding me over to the corner of the room we sat on the sofa. Taking a deep breath he continued. " Betty gave up all her dreams of a family because she loved me. Never did we once think a chance of being a family would come along in our lifetime. I would like it very much if you would give us the honour of adopting you as our daughter."

Now it was my turn to well up. No words could surface. I just sat there and cried. Throwing my arms round him he held me for what seemed an eternity.

 

"I feel so tired Betty, but having a lovely little lady in my life makes it seem so unimportant." I looked down to my arms where my precious baby girl laid quite still, just as tired as me I imagined.

"She's beautiful Ellie." Betty whispered, her face glowing with pride.

"Betty I do believe that's the first time you've called me by my name," I giggled quietly, trying not to wake the sleeping beauty in my arms.

"Well 'deary' doesn't seem appropriate now does it. " She chuckled as she put her arm round me.

"No I suppose not," I replied smiling just as much as she was.

"Anyway, in front of this little lady my name is not Betty," she paused as I looked up at her. "It's Nanny to my family." She laughed.

 

Three days later the four of us took a stroll to fulfil a very important appointment. As we approached our destination my emotions got the best of me making me stop in my tracks. Robert put his hand on my shoulder. "Come on Ellie, can't keep him waiting." Smiling at him I carried on down the path. Sitting gently on the grass I affectionately stroked Sam's headstone. "Well Mr," I said to the stone. " I have someone for you to meet. Now you remember Betty and Robert," glancing over I saw them smiling down at us with their arms round each other. "And this is your daughter. Samantha." As the tears rolled down my face the sun came out from behind the clouds and smiled on us all. "I love you Sam." I whispered to the sky. Although Sam was no longer here he had given me the greatest gift in the world, a family. Mummy, baby Samantha, her newly adopted grandparents and daddy's love in all our hearts. 

   

Author's Note

Feedback on the storyline itself would be appreciated.

Reviews

[Aarea]

Oh my gosh, I almost cried when I read this!!! The story was amazing and the ending perfect. I loved that your character faced her problems and overcame them instead of just commiting suicide (which I see in most stories). Its easy to kill off your character because its fast, but you managed to have a short story with a happy ending. Incredible writing, I was so impressed!!!

[Katie Nimmo]

Thank you! I can honestly say I blubbed when I was writing it :)

[ValyrieKiennan]

This piece obviously has a great deal of emotion connected to it! This being said, I would advise looking after your verb tenses. When they do not agree, it makes for awkward reading. I would heavily recommend reading this piece aloud and you will naturally stumble over awkward sentences/phrases. You will also be more likely to catch incorrect tenses and other such grammatical errors! As well, you seem to have fallen victim to the "telling" storytelling method as opposed to the "showing" method. By this I mean that you tell your reader what is happening, what characters are thinking, how the setting looks, instead of having the character(s) show us. For example, instead of telling us that Sam can take care of himself, include a couple of paragraphs where the female lead remembers a time when he proved his capability. This will make your story memorable instead of merely digestible. Good luck with your work!

Cheers,

VK