Mars

was I high last night?
I watched a planet documentary
followed by some true crime bullshit
was I even awake last night?
I passed out before I could cry
I’ve been doing that a lot
I’ll prove it

take a look at my most recents
it’s all phoebe adjacent
it’s all sad songs sung by lonely people
take a look at this month’s playlist
shake your a*s or write your will
I guess if you loop the thread I’ll hold the needle

sewing patches, lighting matches
burning incense for the smell
of rain and books in my youthful nostalgia
racking up my credit cards
to create home that feels like art
maybe I can buy some motivation

and I know it’ll hit me fast
and all the empty days will pass
I’m just a passenger, full speed ahead
but I’m so scared that it might last
the feeling creeping through my past
into present day and into my head

you can’t buy flannel sheets when it’s mid July
and you can’t stop yourself from falling if you try
you can’t pave roads with the same cement you’re using for your walls
you’re not an answering machine, pick up the call