Pillow Fort

still hurtssssss

I’m taking trips back to childhood haunts
growing up west coast style stuck to my heart
and I wish sometimes that I had been elsewhere
I’d love to love it but I’m unenchanted here
and I know it’s not likely to bump into them
funny, what kept me here winded up dead
and I’m honestly, truly so glad
cause those weren’t the best years I’ve had

maybe I’m jaded
finally ended up fading
maybe I’m really just waiting
waiting for something to end
and maybe I’m crazy
really, I’ve had it so easy
but maybe I’m slowly just easing
my way back into my own head

I’m taking measures so I don’t fall short
been building my own indestructible pillow fort
and I wish sometimes that I thought to use concrete
but everything falls apart eventually
and I would forget but she keeps showing up
hazy images in dreamland with the little chin jut
skin pulled so perfect at the edge of her grin
breaking my heart all over again

maybe I’m jaded
finally ended up fading
maybe I’m really just waiting
waiting for something to end
and maybe I’m crazy
really, I’ve had it so easy
but maybe I’m slowly just easing
my way back into my own head

and I say I’m over the hurt of it all
but if I sit still it catches my breath
never been so in love
and got it so f*****g wrong
a week before that just making fake plans

maybe I’m naive
trusting the one who should love me
maybe I’m insane
and maybe she never thought once
yeah, maybe she never thought once
maybe it’s not me
maybe she never thought about me
but god, isn’t that worse?

maybe I’m jaded
finally ended up fading
maybe I’m really just waiting
waiting for something to end
and maybe I’m crazy
really, I’ve had it so easy
but maybe I’m slowly just easing
my way back into my own head