Nabokov In January

My favorite tattered blanket
I've kept for near eight years
I keep it cause I tell myself
It smells like you, my dear
But it doesn't
And I don't think it ever has
It smells like grandpa's fabric softener
Mixed with every home I've had
But I just miss you
And I wish that I could have you here instead

I miss the girl I met three years ago
With big, unworried eyes
That held my gaze so softly
It would often make me cry
Her calloused hands were never rough
They never held too tight
To tell the truth, I'm still in love
With the memory of her smile

Now it's just a little crooked
And it doesn't reach your eyes
You've replaced the girl I loved
With a sad and bitter child
Well could I see her for a day
Because I miss the way she'd say
That she was happy
Because she didn't have to tell me
But she was

And who are you?
You think you're better than the people
That you told me were so cool
And now you're mean
And insecure
When you tell me that I'm not as good
Does it get easier
To hide behind your changing hair
Your new tattoos
Well I don't care
Because I loved you
But the girl I loved's not there

And when I say I miss you
Well, I really miss your arms
I miss the way they held me
And your scratched up, dirty palms
I miss you singing softly
I miss you making plans
I miss you being sober
I hope you understand

Please come back