Our Time

I liked it better when I felt I was in love with you
I miss the hoping and the wishing
Things were so easy when I didn't sleep under your roof
Now I spend too much time reminiscing
About you walking so long just to see me
Cause it couldn't have been just for the coffee

I didn't offer much
But making you sweat in the sun
Just to spend an hour or two with me
The constellations on your cheeks
Marked time that you had spent on me
And when we met I always found you smiling

Smiling at the ground
Or smiling in a crowd
You never wasted time on being angry
You were happy with me
As we laid beneath the trees
And you still glowed as bright as summer sunsets
You glowed so bright that I could never forget

Your hands were always much too close
You liked to keep your distance, though
Except for once or twice when I got quiet
I used to be so insecure
You said I would be happier
If I could just embrace that all is beauty
You held my face in cradled hands
I remember freezing then
Your hazel eyes were smirking cause you knew me
You knew that I was having trouble moving

You didn't want to let me in
You pushed me out for days on end
And I returned to numb and unassuming
Days of heat and blurs of grey
Cause everything was in my way
I almost called but knew you wouldn't answer
So the day after I got you back
I called to say I had it bad
You said you had to go and you were sorry

Sorry didn't stop me, though
It clashed with things that I was told
About you holding back what you were feeling
And I fell harder bit by bit
Hysterical and scared as s**t
Cause when I heard your voice I started reeling

You picked me up unconsciously
Dusted off my misery
Kissed me on the cheek and said don't fall, dear
But I'd get up just to fall back down
Above me you would wear a frown
Ask me just to leave and please stop talking
But I would say I wouldn't go
Because I knew you loved me so
The day came when you said it to me plainly

"I'll never be in love with you
I never was in love with you
Pretending for a day would only hurt you
I love you like a sister, kid
I love you like your family did
And if you need a home you know I've got you
So if you ever need a bed
To close your eyes and rest your head
I promise you I'll let you sleep it off
But I can't say that I'll hold you close
Can't say you won't be alone
Cause I love you
But I can let you go"

She loves me but I do not love her more
For we are not the same kids anymore
She's just a friend to have around
She helps me up when I fall down
And I tuck her in when she's sick and feeling cold
I'll leave her pretty soon, I think
But it doesn't mean what it used to mean
She's not the girl who I wanted to hold
That girl is now a memory
Of ripped up jeans and silly dreams
And a story that is rarely ever told
A story that will die as we grow old