Business Class(Alina VI)

You were heart emojis on a tiny little screen
You were asking me if I was okay when I was nowhere to be seen
And you were unexpected hugs
When I was pretending to eat my lunch
And you were funny British pop songs
And little bit pop punk
Like on that one day in algebra
You played blink 182
You had their t shirt on
And I was laughing
Cause you were awful but still cute

And last winter you had said some things
That made me think okay
I am in love with my best friend
But you could be my sweet escape
My sweet escape

I was at a fire
And you looked at me and smiled
You hugged me tight
And then you told me
That things would be alright
You said my hair was cotton candy
And told my good friend things that killed
Like when you said you might just kiss me
But I was way too good for you
And I went f**k
Oh god
You aren't quite my type
But you've got glasses and brown eyes that look like starry skies
And you are sad and I could love you
And all the things you hate
About yourself because I promise
They're not that bad anyways

Then last summer we said some words
That we really didn't mean
I think I fell in love too fast
And you got scared and said you'd leave
But I was already leaving
Already leaving
I was already leaving
I was gone

And it's one year later
You've got more scars on your arms
Than I've got hidden imperfections
And admirable charms
But you still kill me with a message
Looking back so very far
It was the first time that I saw you
And I guess I left a mark
Cause you remember how it felt
To see a girl you sort of liked
And that just kills me
Man it kills me
That means I did something right
I didn't have to say one word
But I remember how you smiled
I remember almost asking you
If you were just as shy
Cause you looked cool
And you looked different
That sounds stupid
Just like this is
Writing songs for you
When nothing happened
We just held hands once
And kissed and laughed and
That was all just staged
It didn't mean much anyways
I mean it sort of did for me but
Did it for you?
I just can't see
Something simple
Something pure
Being something you were sure
That you wanted
But you got it
My first kiss from a girl I wanted
But nothing more

And you're like waking up
To a cigarette
Warm and cuddled up in bed
You're like hot chocolate
And a tune in my head
That I can't get out
So my face turns red
From all the concentration
And frustration I put in
To putting it into words
While I fiddle with a pen
Cause you're not coffee eyes
Or chocolate smiles that melt me
You're not moonlit skies
You're different
You're like train tracks
Rainy tunnels
You're like take that
Put it down
Pick it up again
Bony knuckles clutch my hand
It's perfect
It was freezing
You were so small
And I was seething
Cause I was tall and I could taste you still
Beer on your soft lips but softer still
Was the smile you wore right after
Cause it was something
And there was laughter
But I was stuck with buzzing
Buzzing in my mind
Fuzzy muddled thoughts collided
With you
With you

And you could be my great escape
Still could be my rainy days
My hello and goodbye
The words that write my rhymes
Like you do now
You make them fit too well
God you're putting me through hell
And it's over
It's over
I should be over it
It's over

But last year I found a clover
But I lost it when I turned it over
Do you have four leaves
Are you the one for me
Tunnel eyes
I said stay
I said stay, Alina, stay
You said to call you Nina
I said only if you stay
But it's over
Four leafed clover
You can't stay here with me
You can't order me to be
Into you again
I was in over my head
But it's over
It's over
And I'm dead