Autumn Leaves

I have these thoughts so often
That I should probably get help
I dream of waking and dying
And I dream of never finding myself
I dream of smoking cigarettes
And I dream of you and me
But it's not like we're in love
It's like we're meant to be
Like we're meant to be best friends
Like I won't say that I need you again

And I am drinking apple cider
And the air, it smells like fall
You smell like soap and patchouli
And I'm hoping we don't fall
That we don't fall down
Yeah hope we stay on our feet
I hope we finish up school
And find some common ground to meet on
So I can live my life
And if it's with you man, that's fine
Cause I'm so over being a booster
And you can feed your own damn ego
I don't have a problem
I'm just frustrated that I needed you
A want should be a want and nothing more
A want should be a want and nothing more
A want should be a want and nothing more
A want should be a want and nothing more

I used to get this close to you and feel my knees buckle
I used to see your face and I would melt into a muddled
Jumbled mess of words and gestures
And if you asked me if I liked you a lot I'd say yes sir, I'm
Falling faster all of the time
And whenever I drink coffee it reminds me of your eyes
And I guess it still does
But it's just not the same
And I mean you're still the best
But not in that way
Cause I love you
Yeah, I love you a lot
I love your human flaws and mistakes
And I love your scars
Cause you wouldn't be you without that lovely fucked up heart
Or the smoky black of your lungs

And I guess I sort of need you
And I wish I didn't lean
On you for all my happiness
My insecurities
But I do, oh f**k I do
And I'm sorry about it, too
I'm sorry I expect you to do things like I do
Man I'm sorry about this poetry
I'm sorry I've probably hurt you
And I'm sorry that when you scrape your knees
I do and don't desert you
But you should know that that is over
The past is in the past
And I don't think you and I are some amazing perfect match
Well we are
I guess we are
But I won't be driving in a car with you that says "just married"
I won't go nearly that far
And if things happen then they happen and they'll sort it out themselves
I guess I tried to make it work once
And it put us both through hell
You know I wanted you and a want should be a want and not a need
A want should be a want and not a need
A want should be a want and not a need
A want should be a want and not a need

And I guess that's why I need you
Cause we don't need lovers
Those are something extra
And they both want one another
But I need you like I need oxygen and water
I love you like the trees and the moon and the summer
You're my family
What's mine is yours and yours is what is mine
You're my thanksgiving dinner memories and all the passing time
And you're my long handwritten letters
All the lessons that I've learned
You're the reason I feel happier and smiled through the burn
Of all the heat when I was melting the ice around my skin
I'm a someone, I'm a person, how the hell are we best friends?
I don't know
I shouldn't question it but do most every day
I guess we'll stick it out for now
Till one of us just fades away
Don't fade away
Don't fade away from me too soon
You know I only started living last year because of you
You are a hero
You may saved a part of me
That would probably get forgotten
Followed closely by fall leaves
So let them fall
That is a need it's not a want
God damn it
Let them fall
Cause they won't be here very long