Fading Smiles

I know it's odd
But the beating of my heart
Is for someone that I've never even met
I nearly touched her
And I scrawled her name in notebooks
As I took a drag from my third cigarette
I want to hold her name
Like a holy prayer
On the tip of my tongue
Every morning
I want to wake up with my hands twined in her hair
Knowing I can finally sleep at night
And I'll wear boots to be as tall
Get on my tip toes for a kiss
And when my arms can't reach around her neck
I'll feel a smirk against my lips

I'll say her name
But I'm talking to the freckle on her cheek
Talking to the way she cuddles closer when she sleeps
I'm talking to a dream the broke my heart too many times
And gave me something to hold onto
Like bony knuckles
And the softest kiss
She tasted like beer
And something I've missed
For my whole God damn life
And I said f**k you, Alina
I'm not at your beck and call
I'm not a helpless little puppet
But you've been stringing me along
And you lied to me
How could a good thing be so cruel?

But Bella, hello
I've seen your face
And if it's not too much to ask
Could you say my name
Followed by a string of three very
Very important words

I've been a sucker for my broken heart
But every time I see your face
It's like it never fell apart
And if I stick with you
Who knows
I might be good for you, too
Who knows
I guess we'll find out when I meet you