Hearts Bearing

- Pens, notes and papers with wandering lethargic brain, a quick fix ingested to help subside the pain.
- Sometimes loss is necessary, you can't win them all. Triumph over treasure, this fate will soon befall.
- A once loved spirit with confidence, now an empty abandoned soul- becoming prey for weakness as this journey begins it's toll.
- Dragging beings of empty, along the tattered, rugged course- manifest of guilt scream aloud, showing late remorse.
- If a beating heart of now, could bear warning to heart from then, trembling emotions may have been spared lest saving this tragic end.

Reviews

[Chris]

last line..."bare" or bear? feeble?

The last line just "feels" wrong somehow...

The others I can follow.

[Kate H]

*Bear, total overlook! Thanks for the observation, I'm going to change that. Feeble- I, myself struggled with that word as well. Some other options I can up with were delicate, emasculated, fragile, frail, incompetent...none of which seem to fit either. Some friendly advice or suggestions of help? They'd be most appreciated.

[Kate H]

*came up with

[Chris]

"...fragile, hope-full emotions..."?

[Kate H]

I'll give it a try :)