Chapter 1

 

Chapter 1

“At first? Did I believe it at first?” My eyes lowered to gaze at the small wooden table supporting my slender arms. “No, no I didn’t.” My hand came up to my aching head then slid down and created a roof over my deep ocean-blue eyes, shielding them from the light above. Can’t there be more than one light on in here? I can’t see two feet away from me. My jaws clenched as the thought drifted through my mind.

     I filled my lungs with the crisp air. “It wasn’t until I had asked that one question too far. That one question that followed all the others.” I was shaking my head as I spoke, thinking how the recent past would have never existed had I stopped myself before I went too far.

Both my bruised hands now sheltered my falling eyelids. A nauseating headache was working its way around my brain.  I realized the ineffectiveness of covering my eyes when I saw the table was quite successful at reflecting the beam’s brilliance. I grimaced and ran a hand through my wild blonde hair.

     “It’s actually quite amusing how this all started. It all began with a hint of curiosity.... A dash of boredom....” I let a soft chuckle echo through my throat. “It was really all entirely by chance.” I sat forward in my chair, my hands clasped together on the table. “If I hadn’t done exactly what I had, I wouldn’t be in here talking to you, some guy cowering in a dark corner.” I tried to no avail to catch any face or figure, squinting my eyes under the light.

     I’d had about enough of this silence. “You even there?” Sound was the only thing that seemed to be able to penetrate the black shadows encompassing my seat and the wooden table.

     A low grumble erupted from the mouth of the lurker, “Just start from the beginning, little miss.”

     My oval shaped face, dotted with freckles and framed by layers of light golden locks, was showing very plainly the lines of fear and exhaustion. Shady moon crescents hung under each eye, sunken in from lack of sleep. A blue long-sleeved shirt and an old pair of jeans hung loose upon my limbs.

     Was I frightened? No.

Terrified? To put it mildly.

But I knew how the game was played. What tricks and techniques were used. Make the subject feel uncomfortable and scared, then offer a way out. Tell them that all they need to say is simple. Tell them when they are done, all of this will be gone....

     But no... they always want more, always see an opportunity for more benefit.

Silence. One of the main tools of interrogation. Create an environment where the subject feels obligated to talk, a need to fill the empty space. Give them time to think of the consequences, pain.

The interrogator might begin to ask questions. What if you don’t answer? Don’t say a word?

He might be thrown off balance, he might wonder if you are listening to his questions.

Try it? I asked myself?

Yes.

I began to fill my head with thoughts about the book I was reading. The lyrics to my favorite song. A research paper I was supposed to write. Who built this room. Philosophy? No, not even going to attempt that. How long had it been? There was only one more subject on which I could dwell.

No.... No.... No!

I tried to force down the thought, but my concentration was breaking. Crumbling! This silence was a pick axe that was tearing down my barrier to that one thought.

I- I had to get up. Walk this off.

I cleared my throat. “Echm.” My confidence suddenly plummeted to my stomach as fear ignited in my heart.

*Chink. Chink. Chink.* My barrier falling.

“Echm.” I tried for the second time. “C-“ I paused for a moment. “Can I walk around f-for a couple seconds?” My words lost their volume at the end of the question.

Now that I began to ponder movement, I felt my legs and backside go numb. Wouldn’t hurt to stretch a little....

I swung my legs to the side of the chair and stood up, facing the back of the room. Much, better, I thought as color poured back into my limbs.

“Sit down, little miss.” His thunderous voice filled the room and drilled fear into my ears.

I was back in my chair in one swift motion, the hard surface not at all welcome.

A heavy set of boots hit the floor. Powerful thuds began at a leisurely pace, clunking towards me. I began to rise from my chair to escape, but was forced back down by a powerful hand pushing down painfully on my left shoulder.

“Hey!” I protested. A curved metal object snuck around my wrist and was yanked towards the underside of the table. By the time I looked down, my wrist had been handcuffed to one of the legs of the table.

My stomach felt like a wet towel being wrenched dry of liquid, spiraling and bunching up together.

“I just wanted to stretch,” it was barely audible; mostly spoken for self reassurance.

The low grumble of my mystery man once again filled the room but this time, warning augmented as each word left his tongue. “Now you listen close, little girl. There are precisely two conditions you will leave this room. One: alive, if you shut your uncontrollable yap that is, and say only what I want to hear. And what do I wanna hear? Exactly everything you’ve learned of our organization. The second condition: you’re dead, wrapped up in a plastic trash bag which is exactly where trash like you belongs, stone cold or still breathin’. Personally, I don’t give a damn what you do. Boss thinks you might be an asset to ‘im. My orders are to keep you on track. I can have you dead in a heartbeat or I can make it nice and slow. And, believe me little girl, it would be a pleasure to shut you up once and for good. So if you feel like saving your a*s today, I suggest you do what I say and stop complainin’.”

Tears sprinted down my cheeks and ripped themselves from my chin to plummet towards my jeans. I had always thought myself a calloused individual, always playing false emotions across my face. But ever since two days ago, my emotions had been erratic and as plain as the sun in the sky. My head grew hot and my eyelids grew heavy and puffed up. My lips trembled as tears swept over them.

My voice was still quivering when I began to speak, but after a couple of seconds, it had become a steady stream of words. “It wasn’t three weeks ago that I met Sara…”

 

 

Author's Note

This IS a new version. Let me know if you like this one or the old one better. Thanks. :)

Reviews

[Jacoby de Alton]

Paragraph One- Excellent opening. Too often do I pick stories to read that start off so slowly an bleakly that one cannot hope for much more from them.

Paragraph Five- Although its not truely needed, as it is quite easily infered, perhaps you should break the comment about the sound into another sentance and give the narrator as more direct use of her question. If that is somewhat confusing, i.e. "I shouted", "called" etc. Still, nothing wrong per say as is.

Paragrapgh Seven- "My worn and tattered Converse on my feet wouldn’t stop shifting around on the concrete floor." This seems a little broken. It would serve just as well to either leave out the feet or converse statements, it doesn't flow well to include both.

Paragraph Nine- "Cool anger" seems to have given to stupidity at this point. I have no way of knowing the importence of lack there of for this attitude in the character, but she seems frightened of whoever is waiting around beyond the light. And fear often enough makes one cut with the sarcasm.

Honestly, this is tiny nit-picky stuff, trivial. This is a wonderfully written story, and as I read on I fully expect it to be quite entertaining.

[r]

O_O You're new at writing!?!?!? Oh my god!! That was EPIC!!! How could you be new at writing?!!?!?

I am AMAZED, this is EXACTLY the kind of thing i love to read, i LOVE the imagery you used in it, especially with the part about the tears. AMAZING, AWESOME, just wow! I LOVE it!!!!

[Jessica]

i like it (: you describe everything in so much detail so even after the first paragraph i wanted to carry on reading (:

[shivam]

Once again, a very good description of the place, the emotions and of course, the characters. The suspense is thickly built and the reader wants to jump to chapter 2. I guess thats an achievement for any writer!

[J.M]

Wow intriguing - I love the mystery of the guy in the shadows and the imagery of her arms being like a house.

[Jennifer Negri]

I like it. It really draws you into the story and the scene. I'm curious about what is going to happen and I want to read more. You did well at description of the character and the scene as well, giving good feeling for what was happening in the room.

[Kiynteyh]

You describe the setting well, and even though the story doesn't sound like the kind I would read, the element of mystery is making me crave for more. On to the second chapter! :D

[Katie de Lavani]

Even if you don't like it, please let me know you read it by reviewing. :D

[Lamma_Love]

pretty good. for a time i thought she was being ignorant and very rude, but then he started threatening her, and i started to hate him.

[Minki]

I like what you're doing here. The description of the room gives a clear mental picture to whoever is reading it, and when she began to cry, I actually felt like I wanted to console her. The mystery will spur people who don't know what this is about (i.e. not me) to read on. Very good. There are still a couple small places where the sentences sound awkward; a good way to spot these is to listen to yourself or someone else reading it aloud.