On the Pain of Having Sight In the Land of the Blind

this started out as just another journal entry, then formed into a sort of story

Writing can be so frustrating when you have so many ideas, but no way to create something out of them. I want to be writing from the heart and soul, but I can't when I'm stuck like this. Writer's block is one of my least favorite things to deal with because these is so much emotion and personality that I can put into my poems and stories. When I can't write out all my emotions, the stress just builds up. If I let too much stress build up, I just burst into tears. I cry myself to sleep some nights, and others I just lay on my bed staring up at the little glow-in-the-dark stars that have been on my bedroom ceiling for seven years.

I do a lot of crying for a fifteen year old girl, and I wish really wish I wouldn't. I really can't help that though. When I get angry or frustrated, I cry. When I get sad, I cry. When I get stressed, I cry. I guess it's just one of those things I will have to live with.
I don't ever cry in public though, because I hate it when people stare at me, or try to comfort me about something that they don't need to know about. I just store that away until I get home.

Home is really the main reason that I cry so much. I have to be strong in front of everyone else, to help my sister. I have to be able to not burst into tears in front of everyone when I get mad about something that someone said. I have to be able to take charge of the situation if something happens, even if I am the little sister. I have to be able to tuck away all those tears until later, so I can be strong at that moment. I have to be strong for her.

It amazes me that people don't even thing about shutting their mouths when they talk about my sister in front of me. Sometime they even look at me and expect me to laugh along. Some of these people are just people that I have met in the halls, or from sports, but some of these people are friends, my closest friends.

I know I have already written something about this, but again I ask, why? Why would anyone do this, especially people that I have know for years? Why would those people that I love just go along with everyone else?

When my sister was four years old, she was diagnosed with autism. Nobody thought she would be able to live a normal life, take regular classes in school, get a job, or go to college. Nobody believed she could do that, except my family.

She was made fun of in high school because of the way she acted and spoke. She was made fun of because she was "different". But she is really not much different than anyone else. She is going to be getting her driver's license very soon. She is going to college in January to study Veterinary Technology. She took all regular classes in high school, and graduated with the rest of her class. She is about to have her first job interview. She accomplished all of those things that everyone was saying she would never do, just because of a diagnosis when she was four years old, fifteen years ago.

People judge others because of the past. Nobody just wakes up one day and decides to make fun of someone because they don't act "normal". Nobody wakes up one day and decides they are going to hate gays, Jews, blacks, or any other group of people. People wake up every day and experience that hate, that judgment because of what they have experience their entire lives.

The world would be a better place if everyone would just stop. It would be a better place if nobody judged because of actions, appearance, or personal and religious practices. But, that will never happen. A world without judgment is an impossible hope.

Just remember this next time you see those people.

Think before you judge.

Author's Note

i was up for an hour writing this last night...it started out as just another one of those writer's block pieces and formed into a story
please let me know what you think

Thank you very much to John Brennan for the title.

Reviews

[Brianna]

This is good Katie, and I feel guilty for some reason. Probably because I have laughed along with some of those people, and I kow you dont like apologies, and like you said before, I have no idea what your going through, but I truly am sorry for the crap you have to put up with from others. I've been trying my best to be the best friend I can be to you, and in doing that, I've been less judgemental to all kinds of people. Do you remember when everybody was making all that noise and your sister came running to me and hugged me while she was crying? I felt so good right then, I felt like such a good person. And when everybody gave me these weird looks, I turned the humiliation into pride, and I was so happy that I could help her. I don't really have a good title for you, ha sorry, I've never been good with titles myself, but this is an amazing story. I liked reading it and really could relate because I've been there with you.
Great job, and yes we neeeeed to run ;) I'm so outta shape :p
~Chey ;)

[The Analog Kid]

The world need some of these with functioning autism. They are able to focus on certain tasks like nobody else. Nice that you try to look after her feelings and well written.

[PrincessZeldaWannabe]

I completely understand. My oldest brother has autism too. Your sister is strong for overcoming her disability and good luck to her in college also!
Great job!

[John Brennan]

This was undoubtedly a difficult passage to write, but essential for you and others. I cannot recall who said it, but take solace in the idea that "I do not know what I think until I see what I have written." Perhaps a title might be "On the pain of having sight in the land of the blind."

Now, I dare you to rewrite it and see what you think.

[Katie Marie]

Thanks for the name suggestion and review LightOfTheStars :)

[TheElfPrincess]

A beautiful, yet sad story. Bullying has always been and always will be a horrible thing and I have been a victim of it. You could name this, Those people. Again, beautiful story.

[Calypso]

Those kind of people make me sick.
Your sister is valuable to the world and she deserves love like everyone else!
You're a great person and I fell sorry that people treat her like that.

[Katie Marie]

Thank you for the reviews Chey and Coyote, and yeah I remember that day Chey :) thank you so much for being there for her :)

[Coyote Poetry]

You wrote a story with wisdom and the truth. I believe people who work hard and strive for great thing will find peace and their dreams. I don't like Doctors who label children. Each child want more or less. The child decide when they want to talk. When they think it time for learning. I like the ending to the story. Your sister sound like a winner to me. A excellent story.
Coyote