Escape

I'm stuck here,
Chained to this prison,
Trapped in the horrible darkness,
And barely living in the chaos

Of my mind's asylum.

How can I escape myself?
I've tried so hard,
But the chains just won't break.
The darkness is slowly taking control,
And soon I will be nothing,
Just a shadow in the dark,
Fading away into nothing but a memory.

Pain is only a temporary escape.
It reminds me that I'm still here,
That I can still feel something
Other than the chaos that controls me.

But it won't be long,
Before I can't feel anything.
My mind will block that out
To make sure that I will never escape.

Maybe there is no escape,
Other than death.
I'm not sure what frightens me more...
Death
Or my mind taking over.

With death,
There comes peace,
happiness,
eternal song.
Or there is nothing.
Just an empty blackness forever,
With other lost and grieving souls.
Souls that were trapped,
Trapped within their own insanity,
Trapped within their own minds,
Who chose death as their escape.

But if I stay,
The chaos will control me,
Manipulate me,
Form me into someone I don't want to be.
I would be a slave to my mind,
Never able to do as I choose,
Always frightened of what it might do.
And soon I would forget myself,
Lost and confused,
In the darkness of my mind's asylum.

Death seems like the best option.
With death I have a chance.
I have a chance at the everlasting peace,
A chance to hear the angels sing.

With the image of beautiful angels,
Life slips away.
I feel the chains break loose,
And the darkness falls,
Revealing a blinding,
Yet enchanting light.

The cold, suffocating air
Melts into a warm summer breeze
Filled with the scent of rosemary and sage.

The most beautiful sound reaches my ears
As I walk up the carpet to the golden gates
At the entrance of the Lord's kingdom.
The angels,
Far more beautiful than anyone could imagine,
Are singing near the gates,
Their wings seeming to glow in the heavenly light.

As I reach forward to open the gates into paradise,
The angels shake their heads.
It's not your time.
You must go back.

With a terrifying jolt,
The golden carpet beneath my feet disappears,
The suffocating, cold air comes back,
I am falling,
down,
down,
down,
Back to earth and my body.

Back to the hell of my mind's asylum.

Author's Note

I wrote about half of this a month ago and then set it down and forgot about it...I found it again this morning and finished it up. :)
This is a bit different than what I usually write, but I'm glad that I actually got something written.
Please let me know what you think. :D

Reviews

[Coyote Poetry]

I like this this poem. A mental battle to find peace where peace is hard to find. I like the flow of the story and the ending.
"Pain is only a temporary escape.
It reminds me that I'm still here,
That I can still feel something
Other than the chaos that controls me."
Thank you for the outstanding poem.
Coyote

[smilempsn]

Tug of war between the thoughts in our mind..Aahh..!!
Thoughts never leave us alone..!! Yet its important to think something or else..

Congratulations on wining the 1st position in the Contest. Saw your entry there and came in to read :)

nicely penned down..

The words
'I am falling,
down,
down,
down,'

reminded me of a song by Justin Beaber. ^-^

[Katie Marie]

oh dear...you had to go and say that >.< now i'm not going to be able to read it without thinking of Beiber's song haha
But anyway, thank you very much for the review!

[smilempsn]

Ooppsiee 😉

[Calypso]

So sad. It's powerful and rich.

[Ravyne Hawke]

This is a bone-chiller of a tale.. I really loved the questioning in stanza 5; I think we all ask ourselves this from time to time. All we want is peace from the chaos that controls our minds. I think the stanzas about death are a bit redundant; maybe you could tighten them up a bit. And in stanza 9, "angle" should be "angel". Otherwise, this is a great poem and I look forward to more of your work.

[Katie Marie]

Oh wow, thank you...I've had this poem up for so long now and read it about a zillion times and I never saw the typo. :) Haha...the image of beautiful angles...I was always good at geometry. ;)

[Katie Marie]

Almost two years to the day actually, now that I look at it. I am ashamed that I didn't see a typo for that long. :P I suppose that is a difficult one to see though.

[Ravyne Hawke]

I've made that typo sooo many times. It happens and there is no need for shame. With the complexity of this poem, yes, it is difficult to see something so simple as a typo =)

[Katie Marie]

It actually makes me a bit sad to read this poem two years later, thinking that I was ever in a state of mind to write this.

[Ravyne Hawke]

*nods* I have some poems like that, but I look at the now as snapshots of my life and the state of mind I was in.

[Katie Marie]

That's a good thing.
By the way, I don't think I've ever told you this, but I love your work. I don't always get the chance to review it though unfortunately. I've been just reading things in the short time I've got on here.

[Ravyne Hawke]

Thanks hun =) I appreciate you reading my work and don't worry about commenting. Just get used to the site and all the things to do here. That is more important for you at the moment. Email me if you ever have a comment or concern about my work. And keep sending in your Read Requests =)

[Danielle]

Very nice and creative and I can personaaly relate!

[Poetic Beauty]

This makes me think of some one who suffers from clinical depression and cant seem to escape the darkness that invades, numbing the whole being, taking over. This is a great descriptive poem. Many suffer from this and few speak about it.

[Neva Flores Smith - Cha..]

Bravo to you for being able to pickup up and complete this piece that you started previously. Thank you for sharing your journey with us.

[Roe]

i really like this piece i read it a million times my favorite line is "Back to the hell of my mind's asylum."

[Lily Mae]

I really enjoyed it.. You have amazing writing skills and I could feel the tug of war..in the emotions with this. I love it..x

[TheElfPrincess]

This left me truly breathless. Such a wonderful poem. You truly have talent. I was awestruck while reading this and shed a few tears. Well done, another of your beautiful written pieces.

[SilentVerses]

Haunting confusion is caught in a whirlwind of despair, a mind crying out from the recesses of its own grasp we are our own worst enemy, trapped and screaming energy flows through your repetition, reassurance never found you turn to the only option left open, fall into the embrace of quiet release. Free at last from the vice grip of control meaning dies away, leaving only the being behind, before jolted you awaken back aware of it all being too easy. You would rather any reality but that of your own despised mind, such stunning angels heed your flight. Wonderful.