Prologue

It was almost midnight and a dog was lying on Mrs Shear’s lawn. A breeze ruffled the thick mane surrounding the dog’s neck. Aside from the light wind it was a still night. The birds had long since gone to bed, and not even the darkness could drag the usual nocturnal critters in to the heat. The cool wind did little to break up the humidity, but the dog seemed unbothered by the weather. Only the smallest of twitches from his tail gave away that he was still living. From a distance he appeared  to be asleep, but though his eyes were closed, he was very much alert. His tufted ears stood straight up twitching at even the slightest sound. He was on guard, as he had been every other night for the past 90 years.

 

Suddenly the air was overwhelmed with the smell of rotting flesh. The dog jumped up with a snarl; it had been almost a century, but the dog could never forget the creature that emitted the foul stench. The dog’s ears flicked around frantically, searching for any kind of noise. The fur on his tail, which he now held stiffly beside him, was sticking out in all directions. Although it was impossible to see in the dark, each piece of fur on the dog’s tail was stiff and sharp like thousands of little needles.

 

The foul odour made the darkness feel heavier somehow, and with the smell smothering him, the dog’s nose was rendered useless. He snarled in frustration, even when he was younger a fight like this would have been difficult, but now without all of his senses he knew it was hopeless. He lifted back his head and attempted to howl a warning, but he was soon silenced by several rows of razor sharp fangs. The dog struggled in the creature’s jaws. He kicked once, as his blood poured down the creature’s chin. He stilled.

 

The creature licked its lips with its pointed tongue and savoured the taste of the warm liquid in its mouth. It longed to go back and devour the flesh of the dog, but it knew it couldn’t. It was there for a reason; it would not be distracted.

Reviews

[Rose of Gondor]

Interesting chapter that ended with a bang. Writing style is lovely, but a few sentences could use some work. Reading this, I feel like sometimes some things stuck out and didn't fit in with the rest. Try reading it out loud to yourself, and see what flows and what doesn't. Don't know, could be just me. Different text flow to different people after all. :D Also: this is rather short. I'm not sure if it was intended that way or not.

Interesting premise. This is definitely an awesome start to a great book. Intense, suspenseful, dark and a cliffhanger, all within the first four paragraphs. Definitely write more please, now I'm hooked!

[Katie]

Thanks. I originally wrote it as part of a 'quick write' in my writing class. Where essentially we were given a single guideline and 15 minutes. Which is mainly why its so short.

I'm hoping to have the first chapter done pretty soon. :)

[Rose of Gondor]

oooh cool. Yeah, I love those prompts, although for me they never really go anywhere. I hope you continue this though. It's pretty cool so far. :D

[Coyote Poetry]

A very short chapter. But a very entertaining one. I like the use of the dog to give life and action to the story. Poor dog met a monster and found a quick death. Thank you for the excellent introduction.
Coyote

[JCP]

Loved this. You have a very easy to read, effective style of writing. Was hoping this would go on a bit longer, wanted to find out more about the creature and the reason it was there. The only criticism I would have to offer is that in the line, "The dog jumped with a snarl; it had been almost a century, but the dog could never forget..." is awkward in that it implies that the dog is at least 100 years old. That may very well be the intention, given that the prologue is so short, I do not know. Good job though! Writing seems to come natural for you. If you're thinking about writing again, go for it. I'm at the same crossroads myself!

[M.E.Lyle]

Well, this was perfectly horrifying. You say you can't write, but I think you're wrong. This was very creepy. I guess that's another way of saying suspensful. The way you described the dogs actions; "twitches from his tail...appeared to be asleep...but very much alert," gives us the impression that we know what the dog is experiencing. Great story so far. I hope you finish this and don't just toss it under a bed to collect dust.