Missouri in a Suitcase ~ Chapter Three

Chapter Three

 

Waking up sweat soaked and as tired as if she had not slept at all, Lizabeth shoved the quilt aside and made her way to the bathroom.  It had been a restless night of tossing and turning, unable to escape her thoughts long enough to give way to sleep.

Looking in the mirror, she noticed the dark tint that shadowed the skin underneath her eyes.  If misery loves company, she felt like the melancholy guest who had overstayed their welcome.

Splashing water on her face and trying to shake the lethargic feeling that consumed her entire body, she searched deep within herself for the inspiration needed to forge ahead in her quest to retrieve her brother from wherever it was he was hiding now.  The only thing that kept her from getting discouraged past the point of no return was the feeling—a sense really—that he would come back, although she didn’t know when or how.

Her attention fell on a sound coming from outside.  It was an unusual sound, which instantly made her think about Tommy and what he might be doing.  Racing down the stairs and out the front door, all the while buttoning her blouse, she called his name as if he would answer.

“Tommy!  What are you doing?  Where are you?”

As she turned the corner, she almost ran into the ladder, which was propped against the house, finding Gabe standing at the top.

“Good morning.  I’m sorry...  did I wake you?  I saw your brother out earlier and assumed that you would be up, too.”

“You didn’t wake me… but just what are you doing up there?”

He motioned toward the house and said, “I told you I’d give you a hand here.  I had a day off today and thought I’d get some of this old, peeling stuff scraped off so it could be re-painted.”

Her attention divided between getting rid of him and finding Tommy, she answered with a hint of exasperation in her voice.

“Gabe, I appreciate what you’re doing—I really do—but now isn’t exactly a good time.  I have more on my plate than I can say Grace over and your being here is more of a diversion than a help.  I’m sorry, I don’t mean to sound rude but the house can wait, I have more important things to deal with now.”  She turned her head in a dismissive gesture.  She noticed his helpfulness and good nature and a few months ago, she would have been grateful for his eager willingness to be a friend to her.  Now she saw it as an intrusion, another facet of her already complicated life.

Offering a placating smile, he replied, “Well, you don’t have to baby-sit me, go ahead with whatever you’re doing, I won’t get in your way.”  He then wiped the scraper across his jeans and resumed what he had been doing before she had come out, an obvious attempt to dismiss her presence.

It was evident that this man didn’t take subtle hints, and she didn’t possess the energy to be more forceful.  She shook her head, gave one more glance his way and then turned in search of Tommy.

On the other side of the house, she spotted movement out of the corner of her eye and stopped to see what it was.  As she looked in the direction of the movement, she saw it again.  It seemed to be something falling out of a tree.  As she walked closer to investigate, she noticed Tommy in the tree.  Her eyes looked downward.  She saw a miniature army man belonging to him lying on the ground with many toy vehicles lying around it.  When she looked back to him, he returned her gaze with no discernible expression on his face.  Her eyes were questioning and as if to answer, he took another vehicle, held it over the toy soldier and let go of it, never releasing her from their shared gaze.

She stood immobilized by the sight of what she had just witnessed.  Her blue eyes grew wide watching what he had done.  He was reenacting the accident with his toys, and she couldn’t begin to comprehend what the meaning of it was.  He was taking something that had caused him so much anguish it removed his ability to communicate, making it look like nothing more than a child’s game.  She searched his eyes for belligerence or defiance, yet saw neither.  She didn’t know if this kind of behavior was normal or even rational, and thought it best to talk to someone who may have more insight.  His actions were scaring her more than he could know.

She turned in the direction she had come from, never saying a word to him for lack of anything sensible to say.  Confused and worried, she passed by Gabe, still on the ladder, not giving him a second glance.  Once in the house, she sat at the kitchen table staring through the wall in front of her, a feeling of uneasiness settling in.  Calling Stella seemed to the best option at the moment, and even if she couldn’t give her any insight to his actions, she should be aware of them.

After a few minutes on hold, she heard the polite but firm voice at the other end.

“Hello Ms. Porter, what can I do for you?”

Not wanting to seem as though she were being irrational, she tried to make light of her worries.  “Hello, Ms. Remick, I’m sorry to intrude on your time but I was curious about something and thought that you may be able to help me.”

“I’ll certainly try, what is it?”

Twisting the phone cord several times around her finger, she scuffed her sneaker over an imaginary spot on the hardwood floor before answering.

“Well, I was a little worried about something I saw Tommy doing this morning, and wondered if there was anything to be concerned about.  Maybe I’m just being worrisome for no reason.”  She pushed her hair back away from her face and let out a deep breath before continuing.  “Ms. Remick, Tommy was reenacting the accident and I was wondering if that type of behavior is normal for someone having gone through what he has.”

Stella had seen this sort of turmoil so many times in the loved ones of children with emotional anxieties and challenges that she fully understood what Lizabeth was going through.

 Trying to sound as comforting and reassuring as possible, she replied, “I’d like to tell you that it’s absolutely normal, but to be perfectly honest, there really isn’t an answer at this point.  This very well could be Tommy’s way of releasing his pent up emotions.  On the other hand, it may be his way of harboring them; reliving the incident in hopes of finding answers to his questions.  Besides, it would be premature of me to give you any kind of analysis without actually making my own observations.  I will make note of this on his chart and let Mrs. Fletcher and his counselor know what happened, but at this point, unless he’s hurting himself or others, I wouldn’t question his actions.  I would consider the fact that he is acknowledging the source of his inner conflicts, instead of blocking them completely, as a positive sign.”

“Thank you Ms Remick.  Again, I’m sorry for bothering you; I just got a little worried… we’ve been through so much lately, and I tend to worry a lot.  We’ll see you Monday morning.”

“No bother, if you have any questions feel free to call me.  Goodbye Ms. Porter.”

Hanging up the phone feeling no better than before she made the call, she decided to take Stella’s advice and try to view it as a positive sign.  He wasn’t hurting anyone or himself even though his actions were making her very uneasy.

 He seemed to be more responsive when she was being assertive although she felt guilty when he forced her to be that way. 

Their mother had died of ovarian cancer when Tommy was only two and a half, leaving her as the one to serve as mother.  Their father was a wonderful man, very attentive when he was home, but his work kept him away for too many hours of the day, leaving her to take an active part in raising Tommy. 

She was only eighteen and recently graduated from high school when she began taking care of him as if he was her own.  She managed to squeeze in night school and obtained her degree in journalism.  Once he started school, she was able to pursue her career until the day of the accident.  Looking back now, she realized that she wasn’t emotionally equipped to handle the responsibility of being a parent at the age of eighteen.  She had been his friend, a pal and maybe that was why he had trouble respecting her when she tried to assert authority.

Having had to quit her job at the daily paper in Joplin when she decided to move, she thought she’d try her hand at freelance journalism or maybe even write a novel.  She sat at her computer hoping that work would distract her from her problems, only to find that her problems were distracting her from work.

She decided to call her uncle and let him know that they had made it all right and were settling in.  He had been her father’s partner at the garage and the only relative—other than her late grandparents—whom she had ever felt close to.

Ready to hang up after the fifth ring, she brought the phone back to her ear when she heard a faint greeting.  “Hello, Aunt Veronica, this is Lizabeth.  How are you?”

“We’re all fine, how are you and Tommy doing?”  Her tone was very matter of fact and Lizabeth could hear the displeasure from her end.

“We’re fine.  Is Uncle Bob in by any chance, I told him I’d call once we were all settled.”

“Hold on, I’ll get him.”  Although she and Veronica exchanged pleasantries, she knew that her aunt was no keener on talking with her, as she was the reverse.

“Hey there honey, how are the two of you doing?  I was wondering when you were going to get around to calling me.”

“We’re fine, just getting the last of our things put away.  I’ve been a little busier than I expected to be, the house really is in bad shape; there’s a lot to do.”

Bob let out a raspy chuckle, and said, “It’s good to be busy, keeps your mind occupied.”

She replied with a snort, “Yeah, as if I don’t have enough to keep myself busy.”

He let out another one of his chuckles, and asked, “How is Tommy doing anyway, any change since getting there?”

She wished she had better news to give him.  “Not really, Uncle Bob.  It seems every time I make any kind of headway with him, I end up three steps further behind.  He goes crazy at the sound of music, he spends most of his day ignoring me and he cries uncontrollably if I even mention the accident.”

There was a long pause before she got any response to her last statement.

“I wanted to talk to you about that.  Lizabeth, it seems that the insurance company did their own investigation into the accident and you should know what they came up with.”

Before he could continue, she asked sharply, “What do you mean ‘what they came up with?’”

“It looks like they don’t believe it was an accident.  They’ve refused to pay the claim.  Lizabeth… they’re saying it was homicide.”

His words stung her ears.  Vague scenes of police, courtrooms and jail cells were running through her head.

“Lizabeth are you still there?”

Clearing her throat, she tried to sound blasé concerning his news.

“Homicide, why would they think that?  Who could have possibly had a reason to kill dad?”

“I don’t know, but what I can tell you is they were here asking a lot of questions about me and Veronica and you and Oliver.”

“Why would they ask anything about Oliver?  What would he have to do with it?”

“I think they’re just covering all their bases, Liz.  You were engaged to him at the time and it is a considerably large policy.  So I guess at this point we’re all suspects, although they haven’t gone so far as to say that.”

She felt her legs start to quiver and her hands grow sweaty.  After everything she did to protect Tommy, they were going to find out the whole story anyway.  Now she looked like an accomplice, aiding and abetting a criminal.

“Are they certain it wasn’t an accident or could this be their way of prolonging payment of the policy?”

“Well, insurance companies have been known to deal shady but they have the police involved, so it seems to me that they mean business.  If there was foul play, I’m sure they’ll catch the son-of-a-b***h before too long.”

Having been leaning against the wall to help support her weakening knees, she felt herself slowly sliding down until she was sitting on the floor, her heart racing as though it were going to beat out of her chest.

“I’m sure they will.  I have to go now, Uncle Bob, but I’ll keep in touch.  If you hear anything else about their investigation would you give me a call?”

“I sure will and you and Tommy take care, I sure do miss you two.”

After leaving her number with him, she said goodbye and remained sitting on the floor, hanging on to the receiver like a lifeline.  Consumed in her thoughts, she didn’t notice Gabe standing at the front door.

“Excuse me…  Lizzy…  ”

She let out a faint gasp, as she was startled back to reality.

“I’m sorry, I just… what do you want?”

He spoke, pretending that he hadn’t noticed her emotional state.  “I was wondering if you’d have a problem with Tommy helping me.  I told him I’d ask you first.”

She looked at him as if he were speaking a foreign language, still consumed with thoughts of her uncle’s news.

“How do you know he wants to help, did he tell you?”

He gave her a conspiratorial smile, and replied, “Not in so many words.”

She stood up; trying to regain the composure she had lost during the phone call.

“He won’t be high on the ladder, will he?”

“No, I was going to let him use the step ladder and do the lower half of the house, if that’s all right with you.”

The thoughts of what her uncle had said were trying to drag her back to that other time and place.  She told Gabe it was fine so she could be alone to think things through without interruption.

She went into the living room and dropped onto the couch.  Her first reaction was to call the Joplin police and find out exactly what they knew so far, but that would only lead them to believe she could be worried.  If she was, in fact, a suspect, she didn’t need to give them any more reason to look toward her and Tommy.  If he would only talk to her, she could find out exactly what happened that day and maybe it would help to clear him, but she knew that wouldn’t be possible for a while.  Her only option at this point seemed to be to sit and wait until her uncle heard something new.

Having a little more control of her thoughts now, she turned her attention to Gabe.  She had been anything but hospitable to him since they’d arrived here, and yet he was always so forgiving.  He didn’t let her rudeness get in the way of his carefree attitude.  She envied his personality, a trait she once had herself before the accident—she still thought of it as such.  She had always been strong and determined to the point of being considered headstrong; yet now she felt as though she had lost all control of her own life, her own destiny.  The world she and Tommy once lived in was spinning out of control, threatening to throw them off into the darkness of the unknown.

 

As Gabe took hold of her arm to wake her, he couldn’t help but notice her downy skin and wholesome complexion; she had the prettiest skin he’d ever seen.  She looked so peaceful lying there; he almost hated to disturb her.

“Lizzy.  Lizzy it’s time to get up.”  He shook her gently, to avoid startling her again.

“Tommy!”  She bolted up; her face became a mask of terror as her eyes darted frantically around the room.

“Lizzy, it’s OK.  Tommy’s fine.  He’s in the kitchen.”  He offered her a reassuring smile and kept his grip on her arm as if to comfort her.

She turned her attention to Gabe, as if she hadn’t even noticed he was in the room before that second.

“What time is it?”  She asked, lowering her head, thoroughly embarrassed by her display of fear.

“It’s almost eight o’clock; you’ve been sleeping for quite awhile now.”

“I’m sorry, I guess I dozed off.”  Trying to cover for the actions he had witnessed, she took a deep breath and lifted herself off the couch, saying, “I must have had a bad dream.”

“Are you alright now?”  Even through her fog, she heard the sincerity in his voice.

“Yes I’m fine.  I have to get up and make Tommy his dinner, excuse me.”

“I’ve already done that.”  He paused.  “I hope I wasn’t intruding.  You looked so peaceful lying there and I could sense earlier that you needed time for yourself so I took the liberty of making dinner.  It gave Tommy and me something to do while you slept.”

She caught his gaze for a brief moment but long enough to see true concern in his eyes.  She suddenly felt truly disgusted with herself for all of the insolent remarks she’d made while he was trying to do no more than be helpful.

“That was very nice of you.  Gabe, I want to apologize for treating you so horribly.  It’s just that I’m so overwhelmed with things I can’t seem to control right now, and to tell you the truth, I walk around hating myself most days.  I’m really not very good company for anyone.”

His gaze locked on hers, giving her a slight tingling sensation up her back.

“Lizzy, there’s no need to apologize.  I’ve been there, and it took me a long time to get back, but now that I have, I seem to be much more understanding to others in that position.  I can see you’re going through something very difficult right now and while I realize it’s none of my business, if you ever need to talk, I’m a great listener.”

His offer was heartfelt and sincere but she couldn’t imagine talking problems of this magnitude over with anyone, never mind someone she hardly knew.

“Thank you, I’ll keep that in mind.”

As they sat down to eat, she was surprised to see he had made Salisbury steak, mashed potatoes and green beans—a complete meal.

Seeing the surprise on her face, he said, “What’s the matter, haven’t you ever seen meat and potatoes before?”  He looked to Tommy, giving him a wink.

“It’s just that… well…  I guess I’m a little stunned is all.  First a pie, then a meal, I’m envious.  The only meal I can manage is spaghetti and Tommy doesn’t exactly like it.”

Looking at Tommy with a sheepish smile, he said, “Should we fess up or let her think I’m some kind of culinary wizard?”

She turned her attention to Tommy who seemed to be smiling.  Before she could determine whether it was, in fact, a smile, Gabe began to speak.

“I have to be honest with you.  I didn’t make that pie it was store-bought.  As for dinner, if you’d check the garbage you’d find three empty Hungry-Man dinner boxes in there.  I just transferred the food to a plate when it was done.”

She let out a demure giggle and shook her head.  “Well, I wouldn’t have thought to put them on a plate.”

As they ate, they talked about the house, what supplies would be needed and how long it would take to paint.  All the while, Tommy seemed to be genuinely interested.  His eyes were following back and forth between them as they spoke, as if to lock the conversation into his memory.

“Well little man, I have to get going, working graveyard tonight.  Thanks for all your help.  If it weren’t for you, I wouldn’t be done scraping that side of the house yet.”  He gave Tommy’s head a rub as he walked by him heading for the foyer.

Lizabeth got up and walked him out.

“Thank you for everything, Gabe, the house, the meal and especially for Tommy.”  She let her words trail off, not wanting to reveal too much concerning him.

“No thanks necessary, he’s a great kid.”

“Well, everyone might not agree with that analysis.  He isn’t… it’s that things have happened and he’s changed.  His lack of verbal communication is enough to make some people uncomfortable and I just wanted to thank you for not treating him like he was different.”

“Lizzy, there’s an element of different in everyone, I try not to judge anyone by what others would consider different, I just try to make the way they treat me the only basis for my judgment of them.  You don’t have to apologize for him, there’s no need.”

For some reason these were the first genuinely soothing words she’d heard since her father’s death.  Everyone told her that things would get better and time heals all wounds but they all seemed like obligatory words to her, probably what she would say in their position.  Gabe’s words were sincere and truly encouraging, not what she’d expect to hear.

As they said goodnight, she closed the door behind him, leaning against it and taking a minute to think about Gabe and his optimistic outlook on life and his faith in people.

She re-entered the kitchen to find Tommy still sitting at the table, which was unusual.  Thinking back to the events of the evening, she turned her attention toward him, trying to read something in his eyes.

“So, did you enjoy working with Gabe today?”

He nodded without hesitation.

“He seems very nice, doesn’t he?”  Once catching his nod, she busied herself clearing dishes so he wouldn’t see just how interested she was in his answers.  As she threw away the napkins from dinner, she saw the boxes from their meal lying on top and smiled inwardly.

“You like him don’t you?”

Tommy gave her an exaggerated nod, one that made his hair fly back and forth.  This was the biggest reaction she had seen him give toward anything in a very long time and knew she had Gabe to thank for it.

“How about we invite him over for dinner tomorrow?”  When she saw his eyes grow wide, she added, “I’ll make hotdogs on the grill—even I should be able to manage that—but if that doesn’t work, I’ll open TV dinners.”  She gave him a mischievous smile, which he returned, but somehow she didn’t think his smile had much to do with dinner.

Reviews

[Tommy]

This is turning out to be quit the mystery; great work! I am wondering though how Lizzy is making ends meet with no job and no insurance money to help out. Maybe you could add a little insight to this subject, which is hinted on in this chapter.
RLG,
Tommy