The Londoner

Keep back you creature slinking in tube tunnels dark lines to its eyes it shudders behind a crinkly hand longnailed. Gappy brown teeth and lank strips of hair flopping the ghastly thing cavorts about the trains crisscrossing under the city. Stumbling open mouthed it feeds on particulates in the dead air as some pea soup whale. Without drugs the creature has to feel the anger of modern degradation. Waiting to join the bodies of the mice in their bolt holes below the rails. Tiny tunnels within tunnels. Both creature and mouse are coated in hard black fur, a mat that scratches at the crawling white tiles riding overhead. The thing shuffles through the gummy surface of the floors once sparkling with tiny points now dark grey.

Reviews

[Solar]

'Without drugs the creature has to feel the anger of modern degradation.'

In a short piece of writing - the makings of a gripping horror/social commentary! Good stuff!

[Janelle Walden]

nicely done, though it's hard for me to give much more input than that on shorter works, as my mind usually is always looking at things from a novel writer's perspective, since i get so caught up with things like plot, backstory, character, dialog, motivations, cliffhangers etc (can't imagine why i'm trying to write a 500 yr long book as we speak lol)
but again, thank you for the input you offered on 1 of my chapters, if you ever have any interest in reading the rest of the series, just click on my name/profile, that should make it easy to find the rest of my book series no problem :)