2 a.m Sadness

It didn't hit me until 2 am, wide awake. With you the only thing on my mind, I lay there in the dark staring at the ceiling in silence, how it cuts me to the core. The silence I wish you would break with a call, a knock, a sound, anything…. Anything to thaw my frozen heart. Then it hit me… I miss you… Finally after months of you never crossing my mind… I miss you… And then the sinking feeling starts as I drown in the pain, the beautiful pain. I try to hold back the tears that are starting to roll down my cheeks, with no one to kiss them away, but the ghost of your presence that lingers in this place. I lay here unable to breath wishing you where by my side to hold me through this cold night. Wishing I could stare into those beautiful hazel eyes one more time, hold your rough hands, kiss your soft lips, and drown in your love… I never got that chance, to drown in your love and not feel your rain. Your beautiful, your eyes, your heart, your soul. Your perfect to me, and you always will be. You made me crazy, made my head spin around, turned my world upside down, you had me wrapped around your finger from the start. You captivated me with those sweet eyes, and with the way you moved, it was like the wind, so beautiful, so untouchable, and it swept me off my feet, but the wind sweeps away everything eventually in a heart beat… And I had you too, but maybe I asked for to much, it is not clear what exactly happened, it was a rush, over in a flash, and I stood back speechless, clueless and wondering what happened, and why? It was perfect, I had you right where I wanted you, then out of no where you slipped through my fingers… You where gone… And I watched as you left… As everything faded into gray and you drifted further and further away each day. Now it’s nothing but a faded memory…Your gone… I will never see you again… I chased after you when you should have chased after me. You sat there and took me for granted after all that you said. All that happened between us. Surely you haven't forgotten. But it isn't your fault, its mine, for ruining everything… And as I lay here in the darkness I comb back through the memories we had thinking of ways to make it right. But there isn't a way… Your gone… I’d go back in time to change it but I can’t… I miss you… Everything you are. I’d never seen anyone shine the way you do. And what did I do? I was terrible to you… But I regret it all. And I just wish you'd come back to me, I wish you'd come in with that bright smile, beautiful eyes, gorgeous skin. I can still hear your sweet voice telling me those beautiful words… You said it in a simple way, 2 am riding in your truck, singing to your favorite song… You told me you loved me, and I looked deep in your eyes and said it back, but how strange it was that I didn't know you at all… I used to make you crazy, but now to you all the memories are hazy… And I still remain your latest mistake… This is falling in love in the cruelest way…. A little to late…