To take arms against a sea of troubles

Giving up always seems like the easy option... but is it always the best one?

There were many, many times when I just wanted to give up. I just wanted to sink into the deepest recesses of my bed and never come back out again because wouldn't it be easier if I stopped having to struggle and fight all the time? Wouldn't it be easier if I simply allowed myself to conceal from all those troubles that were battering my body and my mind? 

But every time that desire came along, there was something, something in the air (or was it just all in my head?) that pulled me back from taking that step. A little voice told me "Don't."

The other day, I watched myself from a distance. The dark bags under the eyes, the sad eyes which had once been so full of life, the drooping shoulders... the small, tight smile fleeting across the lips, conveying more sadness and loneliness than anything else. The girl I saw didn't smile because her heart from so full of love and joy it reached her lips. 

She smiled because it was her silent cry for help. 

I remember thinking, surely she wasn't me. She looked like me and spoke like me... Yet...

She wasn't me... was she? 

I wanted to help her. I wanted more than anything to see that smile reach her eyes, to watch those eyes crinkle like moons... to feel her dormant energy once again erupt to life.  

She was a shadow, a mere presence in the space.

She lifted her hand and waved at me. I noticed my own hand come up and wave back. She gave a tight smile and I felt my own lips curl up in that same tight smile.

Suddenly, I felt sure that this shadow... she was me. She was a reflection of me, a mirror image of who I had become. 

I was that 'something' which stopped myself from giving up. The little voice that cried "Don't", at times when I wanted more than anything to take that easy road downwards into infinite darkness. 

And somehow knowing that gave me a little light. 

A little light called Hope. 

Hope that maybe one day, just maybe, never giving up would prevail and lead me onto a better road. 

Author's Note

Please have a read and tell me what you think! :D

Reviews

[William J. Marsh]

Writing in the third person is a gift. Many try, many fail. With you it seems to come naturally. You have brought the reader to a place where they can look through your most inner and private thoughts. I am new to this site but I have been published in the off-line world in books, magazines, newspapers and movie scripts. I work in the motion picture industry and have worked with some of the great writers of our time and I really love this piece of work.

[Katho28]

Thank you for those words :)) Really lit up my day. I'm really glad that you liked it :) With my stories, I try to focus more on the emotions and let them resonate most strongly with the reader... The motion picture industry??? That's wonderful! I've wanted to try out writing scripts but haven't gotten the confidence to do so yet... and also, Welcome to WC! :)

[Traci]

This piece resonates deep within the heart and soul. I love the way you wrote it from the outside looking in, watching from a distance.

"And somehow knowing that gave me a little light.
A little light called Hope.
Hope that maybe one day, just maybe, never giving up would prevail and lead me onto a better road."

What I find most impressive, and inspiring about your work is no matter how much pain is manifested in each piece, you end on a positive note...light and hope.

Quickly becoming a fan of your work.....and always my pleasure to accept your friend request :)

[Katho28]

thank you so much again for your review! I try to find interesting ways of depicting the concepts I want to convey :) I'm glad you enjoy my work... it's very inspiring and motivates me to write more :) I try to end my writing on a positive note to show that there's always hope as long as we believe that there's hope... thank again, my friend :))

[Traci]

that is the similarity you and I share in our writing .... hope. and the pleasure is mine, I always enjoy your work.

[Katho28]

thank you, thank you :) your words inspire me... I look forward to reading your writing.. if there's any particular piece you'd like me to read, just send me a request :)

[Antoñyo]

Wow...this is was an unexpected read in that I expected more of a debating form.
Cleverly woven into story, you plunge head-first down into this dark place of self-examination
with honesty and in detail, challenging the reader to do the same.

Question: is this an excerpt? If not, there be more here.

Thanks for sharing

[Katho28]

Wow - that's quite an in-depth analysis.. thank you :) that was what I was aiming and I'm glad that the message came across :) It comes from the heart...
However, this isn't an excerpt; merely a spontaneous piece of writing...
Thank you for reviewing :)

[Riding the Rainbow]

This piece really touched me because it's how I'm feeling lately..
Most of the time, I want to go to bed and never wake up..to tired and lonely..
This piece is really important to me..
Thank you..

[Katho28]

thank you so much for your review... i myself have been feeling like this lately and writing this story has helped me see a direction in my life and realise that there is always hope. i hope that you will feel better... be strong :)