My Umbrella

My partner and I are having trouble and I'm not sure where to go from here. It's difficult when you love someone but the future is no longer clear.

Hiding under this shell of mine,

Waiting for the clouds to pass,

Hoping for a little bit of sunshine,

You were supposed to be my umbrella,

 

Keeping me from the torrential rain,

I trusted you with my own heart,

But you fall asleep while I cry,

And leave me wondering about us,

 

Have I made a mistake in trusting you?

Was i stupid for sharing my shelter,

Walking with you with promises of gold,

Only to be left when dusk falls alone,

 

Stumbling back in the dark,

Mind racing and tears begging to fall,

I want to be angry at you,

But I can only find myself at fault,

 

I was never good enough to be loved,

Insecure and always doubting everything,

Pushing you to the limit until I fell,

Head over heels all by myself,

 

I’m still waiting for those clouds to fall,

Shivering as the rain falls down my cheeks,

Covering me in the cold and lonely embrace,

While you sleep, safe and warm in bed.

Reviews

[Agyani]

Hey
What I feel is most important and which can really help mend things in these matters is communication, sharing, openness. When you hold back on saying something, you might never find the opportune moment to say it again. When you hear something that doesn't sit well with you and you maybe take a completely different meaning out of it than what was actually intended, it forms a small tumour in the back of your mind. You can only realize that you misinterpreted if you seek clarification from the partner. Because over time, that tumour feeds on snippets of conversation and fuels itself, growing and infecting your mind, tricking you into believing something that isn't true, and influencing your thoughts thereafter. It can happen very easily, and all the things left unsaid and misinterpretations can lead to complications and misunderstandings.

Considering yourself unworthy of being loved is toxic, and something you should NEVER do. We are all different, and we cope with these issues in our own way. A taciturn, introvert individual might reflect on his/herself and find faults within themselves to justify the current situation. Another person might put all the blame on their partner or someone else. But it's only sharing your thoughts and discussing with the partner that can help things. And it's a two-way thing. Just one half can't do it all.
I hope things work out. :)

[WillaDanvers]

Thank you very much for your advice! I will try my best to talk when issues come up in hopes to avoid problems such as this 😁

[Coyote Poetry]

I believe dear Katey. Both sides will take the blame.
"Stumbling back in the dark,
Mind racing and tears begging to fall,
I want to be angry at you,
But I can only find myself at fault,"
I understand the above lines. I always took the blame. Maybe easily for us. Thank you for sharing the amazing poetry and your thoughts.
Coyote

[jacob erin-cilberto]

you are definitely worth it...it is hard when our courage and security rests in the hands of a mate.
We have to realize how important we are...and that we don't need another to prove that.
I really felt this...have gone through the same emotions in my life.
j.

[Jade]

Such a heart tugging write but very well written and expressed.

[Karmee]

such an emotional read here, sad really, but written and expressed well

[Chris Shaw]

'I was never good enough to be loved', that is a sad thing to say about yourself. Quite a negative attitude and to me it appears you are accepting all the blame when things aren't going to plan. Your poem is heartfelt and I say communication is key, and learn to love yourself too. Nicely conveyed lines about a sad situation. Hope things improve.

Chris