rain

quick little write about the weather

slowly slipping silver

it waltzes down the pane

a pitter patter pompous march

the dances of the rain

Reviews

[soliloquy]

This is original, inventive, and fun.

[BL]

Like the last line very much, nice short piece

[Clockwork]

I think the way the first line sounds really helps bring this idea to life. All of those sounds are very liquid, they flow down the page. It makes me see that silver rain as if it were on my own window. The bit about the rain waltzing makes me think of a soft spring shower that steadily blankets everything. This was a very peaceful scene you brought to life, thank you.

[Peter H]

very well described poem good use of alteration and imagery :)

[Basu Gupta]

outstanding placing of words.....
nicely written..

[poetry-kiddo alienbaba]

its fallin flling falling

[ChemicalMadness]

This is a very promising piece...I'd love to see you chase this one down and wrangle a more drawn out storyline. Pitter patter pompous? Perfect. ;)

CM

[francis]

i love this.it was short and yet the message was passed

[Boy of the red]

very nice. a little happieness on a rainy day :)

[Wondering Mind]

alliteration and deep meaning