Welcome to the Food Chain

They gnarl and snare at you. The dogs are closing in.

 

You are in the Lions’ den and you

Don’t even hear them roar.

You are in the belly of a whale and you

Don’t notice the air turning to water.

You are at the bottom of the food chain and you

Don’t f*****g care.

 

You choke a little, cope a little.

You see the lions circling, the vultures circling,

Your world is spinning.

Your lungs fill with water and you

Choke a little, cope a little.

You’d rather not run though.

 

My fight-or-flight senses are broken,

You deduce.

You are stuck to the ground, you are frozen,

Paralyzed by something.

You are waiting.

 

Rats nibble at your feet and you

Find yourself

Waiting on something to happen.

You look for excuses

To keep going.

 

You see the ruins, crumbling down on you,

And you wonder about their story.

Is it the same as yours?

One thing is for certain,

You will either die

Or decay living.

 

Reviews

[Leap]

Brilliant as well. This seems like the perfect piece to have centered text, good choice on that. 2 favorite lines: "You are at the bottom of the food chain and you don't f*****g care." - This seems to sum it all up right away and it's forceful, using 'f*****g' in just the right way. ---- "You will either die or decay living." - Got to agree with Dave on this one...great line in general but once again perfect for the closing. You're a badass.

[Clockwork]

Its defiantly a slice of reality. I am not sure that I like the enjambment in the first stanza. It makes the lines a little short and choppy. Maybe that was the point, just another metaphor for the chain that is life. I did really like the mini chorus (choke a little, cope a little.) It gave the piece the feel of a song, and I think that gave it an extra element of power.

[Dionysus Cain]

dark , to the point, leaving no room for suggestion. i applaud you on this write. it has to be one of the best i've read in awhile.it's dark yet, well light up, th flow was great and it impress me . nice write.. real nice...

[The Rock And Roll Cowbo..]

That was intense but certainly captures the real world... if you don't stand up for yourself you will never find your place in this dog eat dog world. Brilliant work.

[DavidRyan]

"You will either die or decay living"...wow....that is one of the most brilliant things I have ever read. I love it. I actually wish I would have thought of it first : ) It's what I love about Bob Dylan : the ability to say things everyone says every day, but do it in such a way that makes people think about it a lot more, the way you word it is so strong, and beautiful. Have I ever told you how much I love your writing?

[writer12]

Inspiration struck, beautifully articulated piece. Angry, sultry, and a little bit sad. But I suppose most good pieces don't have a happy ending.

[LisetteCanWrite!]

This one is brilliantly dark.. real anger towards someone.. the lines that really caught my attention are:

You are in the belly of a whale and you
Don't notice the air turning to water.
You are at the bottom of the food chain and you
Don't f*****g care.

I agree and disagree with the bottom of the food chain.. see those at the true bottom have nothing to lose and I feel that can be risky to pursue.. many on the bottom are not alone you see.. the ones circling are doomed to hell and throwing everything they have away on the bottom feeder.. if they swallow the poison they will surely die themselves.. I could keep going with different takes on this.. really interesting write.. who would bother with someone at the bottom of the food chain??? There has to be more to this one.. keep it up.. =)