My Body Remembered It Better Than My Mind Did

Sometimes we surprise even ourselves...

He is something to do.

He is a mysterious stranger.

He is all the adventures I could have

And all the risks I wish I could take.

I know in the minty silence between us

That I am asking for it.

I find myself slumming with the rest

Of the Daisy Buchanans in the world.

I hear a whisper in my ear,

"Remember who you are, Joan,"

But the journey from your head to your heart

Is the longest one you will ever take.

So as you lean in I think to myself,

Here's to responsibility once a week

And recklessness every day in between.

You kiss me and I kiss back,

Against my better judgment.

I take in your smell,

The smokey, sweet aroma engulfing us.

I savor the sparks on your tongue

And realize in the car ride home

They tasted rebellious.

A few minutes in, I think,

We really shouldn't

But we just both seem to be giving ourselves

Exactly what we want.

I live in my wildest fantasy

For a few more moments

And then, I leave you

Standing there in the driveway.

As I pull away, I want to yell:

I'm sorry.

I know exactly what it feels like.

Author's Note

Comments and criticism welcome!

Reviews

[DavidRyan]

I love this. No criticism here. I think it's amazing when the girl takes control and is the leaver and not the leavee < is that a word? > I'm not a woman, but this is empowering, and honest, and a breath of fresh air. A taste of reality. I think it's weird how a guy who does this is looked at as "a man" but a woman who does it is looked at as a "w***e". I'm glad you flipped the tables. And I'm glad the narrator enjoyed herself and took what she wanted and was done. Amazing work, darlin.

[writer12]

Fantastic piece. Best lines: "I find myself slumming with the rest/Of the Daisy Buchanans in the world."
No criticism either!

[Leap]

Once again...Fantastic. "Minty Silence"...you have great vocabulary. Your words bounce and that is so important.

[Sarah Hawkinson]

Great poem. So deep and yet the wording is simple and sincere. I loved it!
Not a whole lot of criticism, and I apologize, but it's hard to fix what isn't broken.

[Clockwork]

I really liked the lines "But the journey from your head to your heart Is the longest one you will ever take." I think that it is beautifully written, and really sums up a large part of the message of the piece. At first I really thought that she was going to give in. The end was a nice turn. The only thing that I would say is section it into stanzas (Maybe.) It does draw a reader through till the end, so it might be ok, but might be a good thing.