Let the Rain of What I Feel Right Now Come Down

Be ready for a slam...

I find myself thinking of you in the quiet and stillness

 

Of a fresh, new morning as I sink into the mattress of a still-warm bed.

 

My thoughts hover and flitter like the humming bird outside my window

 

And I drink them in along with the lingering smell of you on my pillow.

 

I recall our talk of the possibility of forever and the journey to get there

 

As I acknowledge how our bodies fit together like

 

An old glove and a worn baseball, stitches fraying, pitches swaying

 

Like the waves of the ocean, the sea, the same blue-green water

 

That fills the circles in your eyes, which I fall into and swim in,

 

Drown in, feeling overwhelmingly at home, at ease and like

 

A Sailor taken from the sea still feels the ocean rolling beneath him,

 

I feel you in the warmth of the sheets, the indents in the bed,

 

The strands of my hair which you painted strokes of affection in

 

Last night as you ran your fingers through it and I long for

 

And crave your touch, your lips, the same lips that write lines

 

Of poetry on mine while we kiss, embrace, and I look upon

 

Your face in all its glory and radiance, and realize that your smile

 

Is contagious and the laughter from my mouth is the effect

 

Of the cause of you placing your hand on my side, now

 

My breast, my heart against your chest and we drown in the love

 

Of two friends, lovers, sensationalists, and we urge our bodies together

 

And lead then follow, dancing the salsa, the tango

 

Vertically then horizontally, now passionately we break

 

Open our minds and hearts and fall, head-first

 

Thousands of feet through the air as we jump from a plane

 

Flying down the isle at our wedding, while you wear a

 

Blue tie to make your eyes pop and I hold a bouquet of

 

White roses to match my white dress and we powerfully say:

 

I do.

Reviews

[MollyAger]

This is a really nice piece. It has a lot of great rhythm and flow. There are some unnatural breaks in your lines, so I think you can still work it and challenge the piece and yourself. Keep pushing it. I like where it is going.

[Jesse Merritt]

Very charming and hopeful lyric.
These benefits of romance is something we all long for, yet we overlook the times where they consume us.

Honestly I have a problem with the style of this poem,

I don't like saturated love poems. We have all written them out of our need to be loved. Your images keep it fresh, but that alone can not save this fallen genre.

I must admit, I was toying with it being a song.

:]

[writer12]

Well written. I really liked this piece.

[Sabine]

Intensity builds. The end suits the purpose. The poem expresses pure passionate experience in a fantastic leap of faith. I find it interesting and exciting that form follows function. The intermingling of words and emotion, summoning form, then heightening, cut to the quick, then exhale the past, race and live in promise with 'do' in the immediate present. Sabine