It works. Belive me it works. I am transfixed by it. As I'm writing I'm going back and rereading. I'm gettign something new every time. Maybe I'm reading too much into it, but you have captured life and mortality better than most could. You also spark off ideas of lonliness and isoaltion. Wonderful work Kat. Simply that.
Love the raindrop stanza was enjoying this sense last night, so relaxing for some so painful for others, trapped in ones home alone with only the heart and the natural sounds to keep us company. Loss pain and realisation wrapped up well in the sound of silence. keep em' coming
It works very well, Kat. It has been a lonely stretch of rainy days here and your poem seemed to illustrate how rain can amplify a sense of loss. I like the transition from 'silence - whisper - weep - silence.' Thanks for sharing it.
love it. has a burroughsian tone to it. and it taps, taps, taps on that dark mysterious door in the corner of the mind....you know, the one behind which we all hide the things we know, but don't want to know.
I love this poem. I like how you made the reader wait a bit to read on by you hesitating style of the poem's construction. It definitely built the tension I am sure you were looking for. Great job. Enjoyed it very much.
I'm a writer, freelance web designer, and voracious reader. I'm a collector of words, experiences, and emotions. I've been writing since I was "knee-high to a grasshopper" and feel lost without it. Wr.. more..