Only nightmares

The mild beginning of her new life is now.

I.

 

‘Mummy, where are we going?’ I ask as we walk towards a train station. She holds my little hand tight and rushes me inside. We walk through a tunnel full of strangers rushing to their platforms, hoping to get the earlier train. The sound of the guitar strings fill the tunnel with beautiful sound and we pass a musician playing by the platform entrance. The guitar case is laid on the floor open with a few coins in the corners. The musician bows at the strangers passing who drop a penny in his guitar case.

‘Mummy, which train are we taking?’ I ask as we stand by the entrance of the many platforms. All of them look so big and different in my little child eyes.

 ‘Which one do you want to take?’ She asks bending down next to me. She lets go of my fragile hand and takes off her gloves. She reaches into her pocket and takes out a pass for the platform.

‘I want to go to this one.’ I reply pointing my fragile finger at a rainbow coloured wall, leading inside the sixth platform. We pass the gate and go through the platform to get the train. The walls are brightly coloured and I brush my hand against the rough, dirty wall as we walk. With my other hand I hold my mother’s hand. The train approaches the platform and the doors opens. I take a big step inside the train and my mother sits me down by the carriage door away from everyone else. The door begins to make a beeping noise, warning the passengers that the doors are about to close.

‘Mummy loves you.’ Mother says kissing my forehead and getting off the train.

‘Mummy?!’

I jump at the sound of my alarm clock ringing in my ear. My eyes are filled with tears and my pillow is soaking wet. The nightmares started when I left my home. Although I left, I always dream that they left me. I guess technically they did make me leave, step by step, pushing my limits. My mother is a wonderful mother, but a terrible person. Have you ever met someone who can be two different people? That’s exactly my mother. I grab my bag and leave my apartment. I study Criminology in Teesside University. My class is in fifteen minutes and I am running very late. I walk towards a bakery and a few helicopters pass by overhead. I turn around as my eyes follow wherever they are going and I see a man stood not far away, doing the same thing. I carry on walking and I turn around a few times and see the man walk after me. I feel as if he is following me, but all he is doing is walking the same way I am.

 A man wearing a suit, rushes towards me and harshly bumps into my shoulder walking on. I look back, as the man does not apologise but I have no time to be stalling. As I walk on ignoring everything else I hear people yell and cheer behind me. I stop and look back to see what is happening and I see the man in the suit throw his fist and hit the weird man that was walking after me right in the jaw. People begin to huddle and it’s a lot harder to see them. I turn around and carry on walking to my lecture.

After a very confusing day, I get to my apartment and look about my bag for the key. I swear I always have it here. I live in a small, one bedroom apartment. It has a bedroom, a living room, a small kitchen and a bathroom. It’s just enough for me. I reach out for the handle and open the door.

‘Well that’s pretty reckless.’ I say out loud as I see the key still sat on the table by the door. I rub my eyes, sleepy and confused how I could have just left the key. That dream really distracted me. I peek inside and nothing seems to be missing or stolen. I take a step into my room and take a quick step back startled.

‘Isn’t it?’ A suited man is sat on my bed with his head down as if waiting for me. He looks very similar to the man I saw in the morning. As he moves to stand up I notice his shirt and a gun behind it. I take in a breath and look up to see his face. I exhale and swallow a hard ball in my throat noticing his earpiece, which means he’s a professional, an agent or a policemen.

‘You’re not very smart are you?’ The man says standing in front of me.

‘Excuse me? I know you have a gun and a badge without you even showing me them. You broke into my home to insult me?’ I say dropping my bag on the floor and waiting for him to explain. I feel a little frightened and very insulted. The man is almost twice my height and looks very strong and clearly mean. The man pulls his blazer to straighten it and hide a little bit of the crease in his shirt, which shows his gun and flattens the pocket in his blazer that shows the badge.

‘I didn’t break in, it was unlocked.’ He says childishly squinting and making a ridiculous face. I raise my eyebrows nodding my head with a sarcastic smile on my face.

‘Nice.’

His lips curl into a mean grin and he stares at me unhappy. I look down to the floor and back at him waiting for him to explain.

‘You have to accompany me on a ride.’ He says trying to move on from the childish conversation and slightly explaining why he broke in. I walk in to my kitchen as my stomach rumbles and he walks after me.

‘Yeah… No, I don’t have to do anything you tell me.’ I say opening my fridge and looking back at him, squinting my eyes and giving him a slight smile.

‘What I can do and should do, is call the police and have you arrested for breaking into my home.’ I say taking things out to make a sandwich and not even looking back at him. I begin to make myself lunch, not so worried about the strange and very immature man child in my kitchen with me.

‘Well you don’t exactly have a choice. Come on lets go.’ He says, roughly grabbing me by my arm. It already begins to hurt, he is definitely not equipped to do his job. He begins to drag me along with him and I drop some lettuce on the floor. He takes the keys from my cupboard. As we step outside the door he hands me to another person like I am an object. The other, very similarly dressed man also holds on to my arm tightly and walks me down the stairs.

‘Where are we going?’ I ask him as I walk ahead for a few minutes and have no idea where I am going. How am I supposed to know where to go or turn? This is ridiculous, I am willingly letting them kidnap me.

‘You will know when you get there.’ He says walking after me. We walk for a few minutes and the man with the suit, that bumped into me this morning walks ahead of me. I slow down not sure what is going on or what he is doing. This is all getting very strange, I don’t understand what is happening and who these men are. They were all so rude I don’t understand what they would want from me in the first place. How can they be working in suits and be so unprofessional and rude.

‘Just keep walking Miss Montel.’ The man says walking after me. I look over to my side and a few feet away I see another man in a suit walk the same way we are walking. I turn to my other side and there is another man there. What is happening? I take in a breath as we walk and I begin to worry. How does he know my name? I keep quiet and walk surrounded by men in black suits. We reach a building and two of the men take the stairs upstairs and the other two take a lift upstairs with me. They press the button that takes you on to the roof and I think I am already able to tell what is going to be on the roof. I don’t think I am ready for any of this, I would much rather had stayed home.

‘I saw you this morning… why did you fight that man?’ I ask the man standing by my left side and he looks at the other man in silence. He looks as if paralyzed.

‘Everything will be explained to you when we get to our destination.’ The stranger from my bedroom replies instead and I begin to worry even more. They sound completely different now, what changed? The lift door opens and I close my eyes and exhale as I am right about my prediction. I have always been very scared of heights and now I will have to get into a helicopter.

‘Is everything okay?’ One of the men ask as the other man walks off and he stays behind with me. I can’t move, my legs and body is frozen, and I can’t get on it. I can’t step onto the roof, the only thing I can think of is falling right of the edge, let alone get in a helicopter with barely any doors.

‘Yes, everything is fine.’ I reply stuttering, almost able to pronounce the words, and take a step out of the lift. I can feel as if the entire roof sway.

Can’t we just drive there? I walk to the helicopter and one of the men is already sat by the side and the whole side is completely open. I sit down in the middle and the man from this morning sits next to me. The two men that went up the stairs take another helicopter that is stood nearby. 

‘Hello Miss Montel.’ The pilot says to me as he smiles and turns on the engine. I return the smile and my stomach begins to hurt even more as we are about to fly off. I try to breathe in and out deeper to make sure that I don’t end up having a panic attack.

‘Let’s go.’ Says the man tapping the pilot on the shoulder. I grab the edge of my seat and hold on to it as hard as I can. As we fly into the air I feel as if my stomach sinks and I struggle to properly breathe. I want to get off now. I know landings are the worst part so I try not to think about it. Without even realising I find myself staring at the man from this morning and examining his face. He has a shaved line in his eye brow and he has deep hazel eyes. We fly for about ten minutes and I can feel the helicopter fly lower and lower. I try to keep myself distracted, but my only view is the guys.

‘We are going to land in two minutes.’ The pilot says looking back at all of us. At that exact moment I feel my stomach drop and I begin to feel light headed. I try to distract myself and not look out of the window so I wouldn’t feel the landing as much. The feeling in my stomach begins to worsen as the helicopter begins to land. We head for what looks like a car park and I hold on to my seat as hard as I can. As far as I can see it looks as if we will crash, which isn’t helping my paranoia right now.

We finally finish landing and I feel like I can’t breathe or do anything anymore. I don’t think I will ever go on a roller-coaster again. I still feel so unwell, but also so glad to be down on the ground again. Both of the men get out of the helicopter and one of them holds his hand out for me to get off. I stand at the edge of the helicopter and I feel weightless. Like my entire body is numb and no matter what I do it won’t move the way I want it to. I take a step forward and fall right into man’s arms. I try to keep myself up, but my eyes fill with darkness and I drown in it.

I slowly try to open my eyes and sit up by the headboard. The room is very well lit, by the sun outside the window. I feel exhausted for some reason, my body feels heavy and I want to go home and sleep. The room is very well decorated and looks expensive. I didn’t get a proper look at the house when we landed or anything else around it.

‘Be careful.’ The man says helping me sit up. I look around some more and it all seems very plain and not very women like. As I look around the room I completely ignore the man without realising.

‘Miss Montel?’ He calls me again and I turn around confused. He stares at me intently as if worried that I have hit my head. Honestly, it feels like I have. All of this seems very unrealistic, I can’t wrap my head around.

‘Yes? Sorry, where am I?’ I ask him worried. I hold on to my head as it feels as if not mine. The room smells a little like men’s after shave or spray. It isn’t very strong, but it lingers in the air. The man opens his mouth, not sure what to say. He looks as lost as I am, very uncomfortable and unhappy to be taking care of me.

‘I will go get the chief to explain to you.’ He says getting up. He takes the nurse with him and they both leave, not making any eye contact with me at all. I look around and try to comprehend what happened to me and whose bed I am in. I try to get up and walk around the room. There are framed pictures on the side tables... they’re of me. This is very uncomfortable… I have only seen these pictures once or twice, I don’t think that even I have a copy of them myself. This person has been stalking me for that long? My stomach begins to turn and I feel rather unwell.

Ten minutes pass and the man returns to the room. He returns with all of the men I saw before and a few more. They stand by the door and wait for someone else. They all have their heads down and I can see the man who broke into my house, slightly stare at me. A few seconds later an older man comes in with two more very muscular men. The two muscular men look scarier than anyone I have ever seen, like mini giants. I feel like I have seen him on the television before, but I can’t remember who he could be.

‘Hello Arielle.’ The older man says and smiles at me. He seems to be the only one who knows my name in this room and not my surname. He’s so much older than the other men and dressed differently. Perhaps I’ve seen the man on some show, or a movie.

‘How are you feeling? You should have probably remained in your bed.’ Says the man. He looks embarrassed and uncomfortable. He seems to know me somehow. He looks and sounds truly worried about my health. He keeps his distance from me and doesn’t come any closer.

‘I feel okay, thank you.’ I say standing at the foot of the bed. I stay still, waiting for an explanation why am I here. I don’t see why he would be nervous, he was the one to kidnap me from my home. I am pretty sure I shouldn’t be this calm.

‘Do you know who I am?’ He says and struggles to properly finish the sentence. He being so nervous is making me feel nervous. I try and think of where I have seen him before, but I struggle. I feel like I should know who he is, but my mind is blank.

‘No sorry, I don’t think I do.’ I say shaking my head and look at the two guys from earlier, looking for some, maybe less awkward answers. They stay stood still with their heads down, under complete control of the older man.

‘Well let me introduce myself. My name is Karlisle Montel.’ He slowly says, trying to be gentle not to bury me with information. I stand still staring at Karlisle confused. I don’t think I understand what is happening.

‘I’m your biological father.’ Karlisle adds on and takes a step forward closer to me and I take a step back away from him. I look away from him and try to process what he just said. My father… I think this is a mistake.

‘My father died, when I was little. I went to his funeral?’ I say smiling. I am so confused and don’t understand anything he is saying. I can feel my body shake. I feel so awkward and anxious. I feel embarrassed to tell them that they must have mistaken me for someone else. I have the memory of me and my mother stood by the casket, I could feel my heart beat quickly but calmly. This would explain why it wasn’t so worried.

‘Well that is a false memory. I left your mother for a few months for work, that’s when she had you. I only saw you a few times until you were two years old. After that I never saw you again.’ The man says conscious, yet angry about the false memory I have. Which now I do believe too, it is false. The funeral was when I was at least five or six. I remember it so clearly. My feet were soaking wet and it was pouring down outside. We only came for the ceremony because it was way too cold and I was too small to stand it. I exhale the tiny bit of air and stay stood, recalling my memories. Who was the man in the casket? I bite my lip, brushing my hair with my fingers and trying to keep up with all the lies and false memories. Also keep up with the new information flowing in.

This is the bodyguard unit.’ He says gesturing at the men that I saw earlier. Bodyguards? What for?

‘This is Cole Phillips, Nickolai Michaels…’ He points at the men that were in the helicopter with me earlier.

‘Clayton Landan, Rider Rowan and Rhedon Cunningham he is the unit chief but he isn’t here today, you will be able to meet him later.’ Karlisle finishes introducing everyone. All of them look up at me and bow they head. Nickolai and my eyes connect instantly.

‘You’re my father?’ I ask him, still every much confused. I hold onto my head and stare at him. He nods a few times and I feel like my life has become a puzzle. Everything is so blurry and moving so quickly I cannot catch up. Maybe I should speak to him alone, make things a little less blurry. I open my mouth and look up at him, only to look back down and bite my lips.

‘Can I… go home? Or do I have to stay here?’ I ask Karlisle and his men. I stare confused and puzzled. My mind is jumbled into a billion pieces and they are all blurry and almost melted together. I can’t keep up.

‘It is up to you to stay or go.’ Karlisle says and I nod. Do I want to stay and find out more? Of course I do. I want to know what happened and what is happening right now. With more information I’m afraid I will overload and collapse in confusion and exhaustion.

I’m sorry but how? I mean how did you find me? Why now? Where have you been? I… I don’t understand. My brain is overloaded, I need to go home. If I hear any more I will get upset and I’m afraid I won’t even be able to understand it. I need to come back here with a clear mind.’ I say and Karlisle looks upset, yet very understanding. I look over to the door way, not sure if to just leave.

‘I’ll drive Miss Montel home.’ Nickolai says stepping out forward and opening the door for me. I walk towards him and leave without looking back. All of this is a big mess and I definitely did not have enough sleep to deal with it. We walk outside through a big double door and a car is already ready for us. Nickolai takes the keys from another man and the man bows as he walks past. We get in the car and I feel exhausted, all I want to do is sleep. I lay my head by the window and close my eyes as we drive off in silence.

‘I’m sorry, about the way I acted this morning.’ He says breaking the quiet. I sit up and give him a little smile. He doesn’t acknowledge my smile and carries on to drive with his curled up lip and tense shoulders.

‘I’m not always an … arsehole.’ He adds on looking down on me with a slight smirk. I nod a few times and lay my head back by the window.

‘Can I turn on the radio?’ He says looking back and forth at me. I nod slightly once again not saying a word and stay laid by the window. I close my eyes and try to ignore my surrounding and try to not think at all. He goes through a few radio station and suddenly turns on a channel we have already passed of somebody talking.

‘There has been reports from an anonymous person posting information and pictures on the new Prime Ministers daughter, who we have never heard about. I personally never even known for her to have existed.’ The woman on the radio says and I sit up and stare at the radio station name, completely confused and shocked. I feel the car begin to as if stop.

‘How did they find out about me, almost before you?!’ I ask Nickolai and he shakes his head, looking over the window and the car begins to act very weird and a little scary. It sounds like its completely falling apart or even shutting down.

‘Something is wrong, the breaks aren’t working.’ Nickolai says and my eyes widen up and I sit still staring at him. He has to be kidding me?! He undoes his seatbelt and pushes the button to unlock the door but it won’t unlock. I try to open my door while the car is running but it won’t open. Nickolai takes my hands and places them on the wheel as he climbs into the back seat. I begin to breathe heavily and feel as if about to cry. I can feel a tear, forcing itself out of my left eye. Nickolai begins to kick one of the doors laying down, trying to break it. When he does, what do we do? Jump? From a running car? I steer the wheel straight and try to stay in a straight line. I begin to hear a ticking in my head as a headache approaches. It goes on and on and sounds louder than just in my head.

‘Something… something is ticking.’ I say placing my head closer to the front of the car and the ticking sounds louder and faster.

‘I’m working on it.’ Nickolai says kicking the door even harder and it finally breaks open. We both look at each other in slight relief and exhale. What now? I can’t jump out. I just can’t.

‘Put this on and come here.’ He says handing me his blazer and I quickly wrap it around me. I climb into the back seat, hoping we don’t crash meanwhile the wheel is unattended.

‘We have to jump. I’ll hold you, just close your eyes and take in a deep breath.’ He says and I have no time to either agree or disagree. He wraps his hands around me and we move by the open door. We both take in a deep breath and Nickolai pushes us both out of the car. The car drives on as we fall onto a side walk. We slide a little and I can feel the pavement rip my clothes and skin. We breathe in and out like never before, no moaning from the pain, there is no time or space. Nickolai sits up properly next to me and lets out a moan of pain and sits tense and clearly hurt. His trousers are ripped and a little bloody. His elbow is scratched and so are both of mine. I can feel a few scratches on my knees and palms.

‘Are you okay?’ He says placing his hand under my chin and making me face him. I nod a few times and lean my head on his shoulder. Suddenly we hear and see the car explode into thousands of pieces and set fire to a tree. Nickolai wraps his hands around me and buries my face in his chest. The rush is running through my entire body and slight shock has frozen the moment we are in. People begin to gather and we stay sat just breathing. We can hear the ambulance and fire rescue approaching. I stay clinging to Nickolai and refuse to let go of him or even move.

That could have been our ashes scattered on the road.

The medics help Nickolai stand up and get inside their car. I go and sit down in another car nearby and we both get rushed to the hospital immediately.

I awake to what I hope is just a dream. I open my eyes to white walls and chalk smell in the air. I vividly remember everything that happened. How can I not? The beeping sound beside me is distracting me from sleeping. A nurse walks into my room and gives me a smile, pressing a button on the machine and replacing some liquid hung above me.

‘How are you feeling?’ She asks a little hesitant. I nod a few times looking at her.

‘Okay.’

Soon after the doctor barges in, his clothes messy and he’s holding some paper work. He looks slightly disorientated.

‘Your friend over there won’t leave me alone about seeing you.’ He says winking at me. Assuming Nickolai is my boyfriend. He notes down some numbers from my machine.

‘Any new pain?’ The doctor asks in his deep, very attractive voice. I shake my head in silence. Although I do feel a headache coming on.

‘Well everything seems okay. I guess you will be free to go in an hour or so.’ The doctor gives me a smile and as he leaves the room with the nurse, he hovers by the door and I can see through a crack him staring at Nickolai and Nickolai staring back. Only a few seconds later Nickolai barges in, limping, yet very aggressive.

‘Ready to go?’ He says rushing around my bed and collecting a few things and some medication the nurse left for me to take home.

‘Go where? The doctor said I can leave in an hour?’ I say confused getting out of the bed and putting on my jeans.

‘Well we’re going to leave a little early.’ He says waiting for me and ready to go. I bite my lip and stay stood still for a little bit.

‘Tell me what’s wrong?’ I ask waiting for his reply and refuse to put on my shoes.

‘I think you had your fair share of dangerous and scary today, so I will keep this one to myself.’ He says handing me my jumper. I swallow a lump in my throat slightly afraid. Nickolai grabs my hand and slightly holds on to it for a few seconds before walking out of the room. He looks around and we leave the hospital unnoticed. We walk for about ten minutes. We can’t run because of Nick’s leg, but he is still pulling me to walk faster. We stop by an old abandoned telephone booth. We walk in and the phone surprisingly works. He calls somebody and is stood in front of me. I feel like he’s slightly over protective. How important can I be?

‘Can you pick us up, by the abandoned booth?’ He says looking around for somebody and pushing me into the corner. I stand emotionless and my headache is in full swing. I feel moody and tired. Today has been … complicated and stressful.

‘I’ll explain later, just hurry up.’ He says hanging up the phone and pulling me again by my hand. We walk to a very narrow path and an over grown park. This whole place look abandoned, old and maybe even dangerous. All these trees look like they are about to fall right onto you. We stop behind a very big bush and I assume we will wait here. Nick lets go of my hand and tries to slowly sit down on the grass.

‘How’s your leg?’ I ask sitting down next to him, trying to make conversation while we wait. He looks up at me and back to his leg. He tilts his head back and worth.

‘Not too bad.’ He says giving me a smile. I haven’t yet seen Nickolai smile. He looks so calm and relaxed. He doesn’t look stressed or tense.

‘How are you?’ He adds on.

‘Tired.’ I say looking up and laughing. I watch the clouds move quickly as the harsh wind blows past us. The sky looks nearly grey. It’s getting late and I feel exhausted. We both do.

‘Haven’t had such a stressful day in a while.’ He says placing one of his hands near mine and also looking at the sky laughing.

‘Needed a good adrenalin rush.’ He says looking at me, with a smirk. You can definitely tell he enjoys having stressful situation. Even if he gets hurt.

‘I think this was my first one.’ I say smiling.

‘Hopefully won’t get fired.’ He says laughing nervously.

‘Almost killing the Prime Ministers daughter wasn’t exactly on the contract.’ He says awkwardly looking at me. I bite my lip, avoiding to look at him. We did almost die, but I really hope that that doesn’t affect Nick’s position at work.  We finally hear a car approach nearby.

‘Stay here.’ He says going to check if that is our car. As soon as he walks away I begin to hear branches as if break. It sounds like somebody is walking around. I notice a black shadow beside me and as I look up the man grabs me and holds onto my mouth. Lifts me up to stand and pushes me into the bushes with him. He keeps his hand on my mouth and holds me around the waist. My breathing gets very heavy and I begin to panic.

‘Cars here.’ Nick says walking back in front of the bush that I and the strange man are in. The man holds me tighter and holds my mouth so I wouldn’t make any noise.

‘Miss Montel?’ Nick calls out to me and I try to shout but my mouth is covered and you can barely hear any noise coming from my mouth. I begin to cry and I see Rhedon joining Nick. I can feel the man begin to struggle and I feel him take out something out of his pocket.  I look over and it’s a big needle. My eyes widen and as the man is distracted I step on his foot, which makes him let go and I push him further into the bush. I take a step and the man trips me causing me to fall forward. Thankfully the branches make a lot of noise and Nick and Rhedon spot me in the bush with the dark shadow. Nick quickly walks past me and goes for the shadow man. I look back and see the man just give in to Nick.

‘Miss Montel are you okay?’ Rhedon helps me up and I nod a few times not very effected by what just happened.

‘The first rule Nick.’ I stand still by Rhedon as Nick brings forward the man and nods a few times at Rhedon and he puts hand cuffs on his wrists. Nick walks closer to me and brushes his thumb across the top of my cheek.

‘You’re bleeding.’ He says showing me his thumb and placing his hand on my lower back and softly pushing me to walk to the car. My breaths are still slightly extended and I feel weirdly confused. Rhedon opens the door for me to sit at the front and for Nick to sit with the shadow man. Nick takes off the man’s mask and under it is a guy in his late twenties. His hair is all over his face and he breaths in and out heavy, looking down.

‘Who hired you?’ Nick asks taking the man’s gun and pointing it at him.  

‘He’s not going to shoot him, is he?’ I whisper to Rhedon and he shakes his head with a slight smile.

‘Not in the car anyway.’ He says looking over to Nick and my mouth slightly opens. I try to look forward and ignore Nicks and the man’s interrogation progress. The shadow man shakes his head refusing to say anything. 

‘Ja ne govoryu vam nichego.’ The shadow man says smirking at Nick and I look over to the both of them.

‘What the f**k did he say?’ Nick asks looking at Rhedon and Rhedon shrugs his shoulders. I think for a few seconds trying to remember where I have heard that before.

‘He said he isn’t telling us anything.’ I say to Nick and all three of them look up at me. I bite my lip and sit back properly and look forward. Probably shouldn’t get involved with this…

‘I know you speak English. If you don’t talk I’ll shoot you.’ Nick says and points his gun at the shadow man’s leg. The shadow man laughs and I cover my ears with my palms and close my eyes. Just when I thought today was over and we were done with everything. I look up at the mirror hung in front of me in which I can see Nick. His lips curl and he looks really angry. Nick swings his arm with the gun and hits the man in the face. Rhedon looks over to the both of them and I put my hands over my eyes. Hopefully we’re nearly there. I don’t want to be back with Karlisle but I think anything would be better than being in this car right now. 

Author's Note

Ignore spelling mistakes and I know the names are ODD but I like them so. What do you think of their personalities? What do you think will happen in the next chapter?