Tears

I re-did my best friend's poem. http://www.writerscafe.org/Sana-Sama321 this is her link. Go check out her page!!! :)

These tears that fall,
Are warm and wet.

These tears that fall,
Make all my fears be here and set.

These tears that fall,
Make me want to pick up the phone.

These tears that fall,
Make me wish I weren't alone.

These tears that fall,
Make me wish I were dead.

These tears that fall,
Hurt my head.

These tears that fall,
Cause me great pain.

These tears that fall,
Feel like being hit by a train.

These tears that fall,
They fall for you.

These tears that fall,
I wish you knew.

Author's Note

Please review. I did this because people were saying that it didn't make sense, so I decided to re-write it and, from my point of view, it turned out better than what I had expected. Also, please review her poem. Thank you!!!

Reviews

[zainul]

Great write

[guiltyascharged]

Wow. THat's the whole story of my life. Ah, you had to be there.

[Linda Hogenson]

It was a good rewrite. Normally it is difficult to take someone else's idea and make it sound like your own.

[Linda Hogenson]

A poem is not exactly meant to make sense to anyone but the author. It then becomes the priviledge of the reader to try and see what it was that inspired the poem. I think it made sense. It makes me wonder about the person who would be saying that.

[Ashimoto]

This looks a lot like my poem! Thank you for revising it! This one is loads better! ~Ashleigh =^.^=

[YYPSNicoletse]

Such great job!

[jose]

nice poem kasi, its pretty cool I didn't know you wrote poetry i thought u just wrote stories. good job on the poem

[Mizuki Tsukiakari]

I loved it! It made me sad. I thought it was very well written. (I'll take a look at your friends poem, too!) ;p