Change

Ali and Bengt are getting closer. ^^

    I rubbed my aching and swollen nose. A twinge of pain shot through my face, and I immediately stopped. The moment I got home, I had bandaged up my nose. My family all had laughed at it. I didn’t look that silly, did I? The only real problem I had with it was that I had to breathe out of my mouth. It was really annoying.
    It was the weekend now, Saturday to be exact. I had told Bengt that I would think about being friends with him. Well I didn’t exactly say that. He asked if we were friends, and I replied with “we’ll see”. I’m pretty sure that means that I am thinking about it.
    It was close to evening, yet I never came out of my room. More like no one saw me come out. I had to go to the bathroom, but that was about it. I didn’t to go out for food or water. Having a mini-fridge in my room had its benefits. I popped it open and pulled out a water bottle. As I drank it, I logged onto Barry’s blog to see if those girls had answered me. Sure enough, they had.

“Dear Barry,
            It seems that your owner is rather insecure about herself. Whatever she did could not be that bad, can it? She’d have to do something so tragic that it would lead to her expulsion. With that being said, wouldn’t it be natural to want friends? Even if they are put in danger, having friends is truly a great thing. Doesn’t she get lonely    without them? If he does know now, I’d say she should just be friends with him. Perhaps with a friend, she’ll get rid of her insecurities.
~Wendy”

    This was strange. Only one of the sisters replied? I raised a brow before strolling more downwards. There I found out that both sisters had replied, but they were separate replies. They still came from the same account though. The other sister’s read:

“Dear Barry,
            I have to agree with Wendy when she says your owner is insecure. However, it would seem that even though she had done something to make the whole school hate her, she still yearns for friendship. By the sound of it, she’s the one who wants to make friends with the new guy the most. Yet, I would lean to the side of keeping an eye on him. While Wendy believes she should be friends with him, I say perhaps she should think hard about it. Does she really want friends, or does she want to be hated by everyone?
~Valeria”

    I sucked in a breathe. Valeria had definitely made me think with hers. Her sister had said what I thought both of them would say. I assumed both would want me to be friends with him. Why did one of them have to make me think?
    Do I want friends or do I want to be hated by everyone? I honestly did not know. Actually, I did know, but I didn’t want to. I assumed that I would want everyone to hate me considering what I had done. I did it so I couldn’t have people to hurt me. Maybe I’m not afraid of getting hurt. Perhaps I’m afraid of hurting others. Then why did I hurt everyone? I guess I don’t want to hurt those who are important to me. That’s why I’m still living down the guilt of betraying Greg and the others. I did not have second thoughts of hurting the strangers in my school, but I always thought about my friends. Now that they are no longer my friends, I shouldn’t think of them as such. Yet, I still do. I don’t want to further hurting them.
    I hadn’t realized it until I wiped my cheek. Water from my bottle somehow got onto my face. No, it wasn’t water. They were tears. Tears were falling down my cheeks. When did I start crying? Why did I start crying?
    I wiped all the tears away and replied to the sisters.

“Dear Wendy,
            You are perfectly right to believe she is insecure. She has been this way for a very long time. I can’t even begin to explain what she did or her thoughts. He does know now. And he wants to be friends with her. The only thing is, she is not sure if she will be a good friend to him. If he does get rid of her insecurities, then I shall be forever in his debt.
~Barry the Lion
Dear Valeria,
            She is very conflicted. A part of her wants to have friends, yet another wants to shun people away. Knowing your friends’ every thought has to have you second-   guessing your friendships. The question you asked had her thoughts in shambles. At first, to anyone it would look like she wants to be hated, but if you really got to        know her like I do, you’d find out just how lonely she really is. I still do not know her true answer, and I doubt she really knows it herself.
~Barry the Lion”

    I sent both and sat back. I was really glad that I have someone to talk to about all of this. Even if I never wanted to admit it, I was.
    Maybe I’ll give Bengt a chance. I mean, what would I have to lose? I have nothing to lose right now. I don’t even have my sanity.

…

    Sunday held nothing for me. All I did was sit in my room and watch movies all day. Now it was Monday, and I sat in my English class waiting for Bengt.
    He got in right when the bell rang, as usual. Funny how I always called it. I must have been watching him more intently that I had thought. He sat right next to me and gave me his morning greeting. Instead of hesitating, I gave a greeting back. I even added a smile to it.
    He gave me a blank look for a few seconds, and I thought I might have broke him. Not even a moment later, he grinned widely back. He didn’t say anything though. He already knew what my greeting meant.
    I really hope I wasn’t making some sort of huge mistake. I already regret so much. I don’t want to regret making friends with some weirdo.
    The lesson went on as planned and as soon as the bell rang, Bengt and I walked to our next class. We didn’t talk, but it was as if we could read each other’s minds. Technically I could read his mind, but strangely enough, he had nothing to say in it. Perhaps he was brainless. I wouldn’t be surprised if he was.

…

    It was once again Lunchtime. I wondered into the cafeteria and saw Bengt motioning over to his table with wide sweeps on his arms. I grimaced. Why couldn’t he just sit next to me at my table? Even though I was keen on avoiding my three old friends, I didn’t want to take Bengt away from his new friends. I sighed and made my way over. I really hope that the guys don’t scream at me and tell me to leave.
    As I drew nearer, I swallowed a large lump of nervousness in my throat. For some reason, it wouldn’t go down. Why was I so nervous? Oh yeah, I remember. I ruined their lives. That was a fantastic reason to be nervous.
    I plopped down next to Bengt and refused to look at Greg, Mark and Trevor.
    ‘What is she doing here?’ Greg thought with malice.
    ‘How strange,’ Trevor thought to himself.
    Mark thought nothing, which worried me.
    “Hello, Ali,” Mark greeted and smiled, “It’s nice to see you.”
    “You too,” I said with a small voice.
    Bengt looked clearly confused. ‘You are already acquainted?’
    “Yeah, I already know them,” I told Bengt.
    The guys gave me a strange look. I forgot. They couldn’t read Bengt’s thoughts like I could. It was okay for me to answer Bengt when we are alone, but doing it with people around made them suspicious. I quickly looked away from their eyes.
    “It’s been awhile,” Greg began, “Hasn’t it, Ali?”
    I nodded. Man, you could cut the tension with a knife.
    ‘What is wrong, Ali?’ Bengt asked me.
    I couldn’t speak to Bengt about what happened right here. No doubt Greg or Trevor would butt into the story. I completely forgot that Bengt wasn’t here last year. He didn’t know what had happened.
    “I’ll tell you once we are alone,” I whispered into Bengt‘s ear.
    Bengt’s face grew red as he stood up. He waved and motioned for to follow him outside. He must really want to know if he was so eager to leave his friends to hear it. I stood up and said my goodbyes. Surprisingly, all of them said bye back to me. They really are good guys, even when they shouldn’t be.
    As soon as we were outside, Bengt asked, ‘What happened?’
    “I can’t tell you right now,” I said to him, “We are still near people. Follow me.”
    Bengt obediently followed me out to the field where there was next to no one. I suddenly turned around, which made me bump into Bengt.
    “What I’m about to tell you, you can’t bring it up with anyone,” I warned him, “They already hate me enough. I don’t want them to be reminded of what I’d done.”
    Bengt’s eyes widened. ‘Just what did you do?’
    I sighed and decided to start at the beginning. I told him how I found out my power, which led to how many times I’ve been kicked out of school, which then led to what I had done to everyone freshmen year. When I had finished, Bengt was giving me a stern look. I had never seen him give anything other than a smile or even a blank stare.
    “Bengt?” I asked, “Are you mad?”
    ‘Depends,’ Bengt said, ‘Do you regret what you did to everyone?’
    “I do. I really do regret it.”
    Bengt smiled. ‘Then I’m not mad. You obviously suffered from the guilt. Besides, I have no right to be mad. What you did is in the past.’
    I raised a brow. “Are you saying I shouldn’t feel guilty because it is in the past?”
    ‘Well,’ Bengt began, ‘I guess I kind of am. I mean, the only option right now is to apologize. It’s not like you can take it back, so you should stop worrying.’
    “You’re right,” I said in realization, “Thanks for telling me that.”
    ‘You're welcome,’ Bengt said as he ruffled my hair.
    I slapped his hand away, not in malice or scorn. I did it rather playfully. And I’m sure Bengt would have laughed at it if he could.

…

    It had been a few weeks since I became friends with Bengt. It was still weird to have someone around me. I thought I had gotten used to it when Mark was my friend.
    It was also weird sitting with at Mark, Greg and Trevor’s table. Mark was still the only one who willingly talked to me. Greg and Trevor only spoke if Mark encouraged them, or if they wanted to poke at my guilt some more.
    Mark had been yammering away like he always did. “We definitely should all hang out together!”
    Wait, what? I had completely missed the part where that was okay. I had a list of things that were okay, and that was definitely not on the list. I already hung out with them every lunch I had.
    “Why?” Greg asked, looking at me from the corner of his eye.
    He certainly did not want to hang out with me. I didn’t even have to read his mind for me to know that. I could see the malice hiding in his eyes.
    “Because it would be fun,” Mark explained, “Look, I think we all need to chill out together. Maybe play some videogames or something.”
    “Again, I ask why?” Greg repeated, “We hang out everyday at school.”
    Mark gave him a pout and in a low whisper, that I could clearly hear, said, “I think we should reconnect with Ali.”
    “Are you stupid?” Greg replied, not even bothering to whisper, “Why would I want to do that?! Do you even remember what happened?!”
    Mark was taken aback. He looked at me with hopeful eyes, obviously telling me to defend him. I sighed.
    “I think Greg is right,” I said. I was completely aware that I was heading in the opposite direction that Bengt wanted me to go in, but I didn’t care. I just wanted to get out of this heavy tension and atmosphere that I was creating.
    Mark gave me a disappointed look. I turned away from him, feeling guiltier than ever. The bell rang, thankfully, and I took away as fast as I could out of the cafeteria and down the hall.
    The rest of the day went by smoothly until the final bell rang. Somehow Bengt found out my last class and was waiting outside the door for me.
    “Can I help you, Bengt?” I asked.
    ‘Yes, you can,’ he said, ‘I was wondering if you would like to hang out with me after school tomorrow?’
    My face and mind went completely blank. All I could manage was, “Eh?”
    ‘We can hang out at my house,’ he continued, ‘I can introduce you to my parents. I’ve already told them so much about you.’
    “I guess so?” I said, though it came out as more of a question. I had no idea what to say. I’ve never been over to a friend’s house before, so it would be a new experience for me.
    Bengt clapped his hands happily. ‘Yay! I’ll tell my parents. You better tell yours too! See you tomorrow!’ With that, he skipped off happily down the hall.
    What a weirdo. Why would he want me over at his house? Why would he even tell his parents about me? I imagine him just bragging on and on about how great I am. I’ll definitely be a disappointment to his parents.
    I hopped on the bus home and just thought. What would we even do at his house? I’d imagine playing charades. Okay, that was very mean to think. Maybe we’d play videogames or just talk. I wonder what his parents are like. Maybe one of them is like him.
    When I got off the bus, my mother was there to greet me. Yet another strange thing to happen today.
    “How was school, sweetie?” my mother asked as I got into her car.
    “Fine,” I began, “One of my friends invited me over to their house tomorrow. Can I go? It’s after school.”
    “Which friend?” she inquired, “You never talk to me about your friends. Who is this person? Boy or girl? How old are they? What do their parents do?”
    “Mom,” I cut her off, “His name is Bengt. He’s obviously a male. He’s in my grade. I don’t know much about his parents. Oh, and he’s mute.”
    “Mute? How strange. How do you talk to him?”
    “I can read minds, remember?”
    “Right. Right.”
    My mother never believed I could read minds. She still thinks I’m just making it up.
    “So can I go?” I asked.
    “Sure,” she said, “Just be home before dark.”
    “Okay.”
    She pulled into the driveway, and I jumped out. I dashed to my room to tell Barry all about my day. Boy would he be surprised at all the stuff that happened.

Author's Note

Originally, I was not going to make this a romance novel. :P