Like Commas, Curled

Maybe risky, but trying to squeeze a dialogue into the sonnet form was a fun challenge.

You said my eyes held a thousand secrets
A thousand things you wish you knew You said
I’d kept them to myself for far too long
You said you wished you could see what it looked
Like when I blink. I said no one notices
When they blink. But I should’ve stopped at
Notices, cause I’ve never met another
Whose focus is clear enough to see
Something special about my eyes beyond
Their size. But you did. You, with the patience
With the wisdom of a semicolon
Saw movement in my eyes when you stopped.

We took a pause together, like commas, curled
When you said you thought my eyes could change the world.

Reviews

[Steve Ryman]

Beautiful. You certainly have a grasp of the english language in your writing. Absolutely loved it.

[Distant horizons]

Beautifully done.