You

It's self destruct 
Self abuse 
I kiss him while he kisses you 
I lay across his f*****g bed 
knowing this is where you stay 
I f**k him raw 
He moans my name with your image in his head 
I know it's you 
It's not me 
He always stares but only through me 
Brown big eyes still feeds me lies 
and I inhale them to survive 
I know it's not truth the things he says 
but whatever gets me in his bed 
whatever gets me in his arms 
so I can feel him before he leaves 
before he realizes I'm not what he needs 
before he says I was a mistake 
and says to you "please whatever it takes" 
It's like suicide what I do 
I watch him love you 
it's self destruct 
Self abuse 
Cause I crave him knowing he craves you 

Author's Note

fix grammar problems please

Reviews

[Evan Scott]

I love the power in your words, to fix some grammatical issues there would be a comma before the word but in the 10th stanza

personally i never worry about my grammar too much, I love the raw emotion presented in the poem

[Leica Fox]

Wow, that was hard to read --- but in the good way because it spoke to me. This is very real and so honest. I love that you didn't hold back for the sake of vanity or pride, but rather put it all out there exactly as it is from your perspective. Structurally, it might need some work, but I'm no expert -- The structure didn't diminish the message of the poem and that's what matters :)

[Sbwats]

Wow! That's raw. I like it because it's something that so many face in friendships and relationships.

[Coyote Poetry]

I loved this poem. Honest and realistic poetry. My favorite kind.
"It's like suicide what I do
I watch him love you
it's self destruct
Self abuse
Cause I crave him knowing he craves you "
The above lines. So good and so real. Thank you Kari for sharing the amazing poetry.
Coyote

[meena]

Very good, you got the emotions across really well. Beautifully written, really. ^^

[Pink Pastel]

Nice and really painful aiiiii I could feel it.

[The Twin Arenas]

we're sexual beings before anything else. don't beat yourself up over it. the self destruct self harm angle is just a social construct. let that s**t go.

[The Twin Arenas]

"self destruct" should probably be self-destruction, although "it's ON self-destruct" kind of works.

[terry smith]

Lost Boy

playing three card monte
with a loaded deck
& the bartender's girlfriend
won't leave me alone
so I'm getting
my drinks for free

you see me
and in your
mother's womb
sense my damage

& in these sweltering
endless nights
we sweat through
the sheets
as you try to make up
for all the fucked up things
that have happened
in my life

& in the morning
I will kiss you
thank you for the memory
& leave
too damaged
to share myself
with anyone


this is why....

[Kari Kush]

That was great but what is why?

[Kari Kush]

u answered a question but questions

[terry smith]

because damaged people don't know how to share themselves