Stay

We sat in silence and listened to our thoughts 

mine were screaming I started to think maybe he can hear mine 

maybe that's why he's so quite he's listening to my insanity 

I'm scaring him away I thought 

He's gonna leave I thought 

I don't want him to leave 

Why did I not want him to leave 

I want him to stay I thought 

I want him to stay 

I think he heard what I was thinking cause he stroked my face and glanced at me 

He just sat there admiring me admire him 

he searched for my hands and held them 

He's gonna let go I thought 

don't let go I thought 

Stay.

he kissed me 

I kissed him 

We kissed 

It was beautiful 

Our lips moved to a rhythm and i tasted my feelings for him roll off my tongue into his mouth as he inhaled them 

they were his now 

brown big eyes was gone and it was him now

low eyes 

Brown low eyes

brown low eyes kissed me like he loved me but it couldn't be love 

it was lust 

I knew it was lust the moment we went to the back seat and he injected himself in me 

he poisoned me 

I'm dying I thought 

Where is my air I thought 

Why am I only inhaling him

I could taste his poison 

I could feel myself suffocate 

his air 

His feeling 

His poison 

Him 

was suffocating me or maybe it was his hands around my neck 

"Oh you like that" he said 

as he continued to inject himself in me 

harder and harder till I felt my body give up 

I couldn't do it anymore 

tears rolled down my face 

he doesn't love me I thought 

What is he doing I thought 

Why do I still want him to stay 

stay I thought 

but I scarred him away 

He stopped 

starred 

"Are you okay" 

"Go away" I said 

"Go away"

What did I do I thought 

He's gonna let go I thought 

Don't let go I thought

Stay. 

Reviews

[Echoes of Eros]

Everything in your thoughts pulses and screams, the heart and soul laid bare aching to be made known. One can feel the fear, the longing, the pain in wondering even as the mind rages and the body clings to something so distant. Enticing intoxication of life. xo

[Coyote Poetry]

Sometime we lose our mind. Say things we shouldn't.
"Are you okay"
Go away" I said
""Go away"
What did I do I thought
He's gonna let go I thought
Don't let go I thought Stay. "
The above lines. Word that can haunt us forever. Thank you Kari for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Matt B]

I liked the imagery your words painted. The pace picked up and you can feel the emotions coming through. Being drawn in, pulled together by the lust and temptation but then pushing back at the last moment really creates a sense of confusion from the mindset of the narrator. This is nicely done. One of the only things I would suggest is to avoid using too many tag lines after the narrator expresses a thought. Too many "I thought" will distract the reader from what is really going on. Let it breathe and express the narrators point of view without so many telling signs that it is her thoughts. Let the reader in and experience it with her. Overall, very good job.

[Pink Pastel]

Wow it feel like a song in the starting and then shifted to a story cool^-^