What used to be..

When one holds on to something that Is on the edge of being lost and forgotten...

A promise that bound two hearts together
but now forgotten..

Talking about one's feelings
changed into nothing but silent whispers..

The presence which illuminated her smile
is absent now..

Two minds brought together by fate,
Now one mind loosing its faith..

The untold thoughts
lingering in her tears..

The lips which talk
but no words can be heard...

The eyes which tell a million stories,
unknown to others..

All these are left of what used to be called
a special bond between two souls..

Shattered dreams and lost hope,
Well its never a surprise is it?

Author's Note

This is my first poem.
I hope everyone will give their frank reviews.
I need them.

Reviews

[Phill Oz O'fee]

Studies by anthropologist Helen Fisher studied the brain activity of 'in love' couples and found just thinking about your loved one activates the same part of the brain associated with addiction.

This suggests love itself is addictive, she says. Great, when it's reciprocal and all going well! Take it away and the neurochemical process is similar to that of a drug addict going through withdrawal.

Your first write highlights the emotional turmoil and frustration in a poetic, poignant and questionable style. Very excellent for the first and I trust many, more writes!

Note: I believe if you leave space between ever second stanza, the piece becomes even more dramatic – a bit like catching one’s breathe from the shock (just a suggestion)!

i.e.:

A promise that bound two hearts together
but now forgotten...

Talking about one's feelings
changed into nothing but silent whispers...

The presence which illuminated her smile
is absent now...

Etc …..

[Karen John]

Thank u for the amazing review!
I like your suggestion !!
And yes I will keep writing😊

[Prashant Bajpai]

see you wrote very well as it was first try so might be know, practice make a men perfect

[Karen John]

Thank u so much for the encouragement

[wordman]

sometimes our souls bond, but our hearts seem to change

[Karen John]

True
And thank u for reading my poem

[Saffy]

Well done. I enjoyed reading this. Keep writing!

[Karen John]

Thank u saffy

[rowan.taylorrr]

this is really good, cant wait to see more

[Karen John]

Thank u so much😍

[pragya gaur]

Nice to know it's your first....it is much better than expected...by reading this I remembered my first poem....well done Karen keep going don't stop... Waiting for your next one

[Karen John]

Thank u so much for ur support😍