Finding Truth

This is a poem about truth vs lies, life vs death, and a carpenter who builds amazing castles.

Finding Truth

Time is a moment
like old wine
Plays music of burning desire
Dances well of the Earth
to have
An instrument within the scores

Musical notes
never forsaken measures of worth
in the grand play

Breathing songs within the breeze
of what dreams

This is my adoration for having
a passion for life

I remember the half time
 ...of a youth growing old
drinking from the wrong
fountain of youth

Somehow I had arrived
standing at the doorway
....waiting

Inside of a shattered soul...
where there were sleeping dreams
to examine

As I recall, it's what curled up like a tiger
inside of a cage

These pains of hurt...getting out ...taking patrol
looking for freedom

If I could only find the key
to secret passageways
I would open up a door, step out, away from death
beyond the invisible lines of a mind that had boundaries

Far away from the old ragged cloths of my stains
My "sins" no longer displayed and tossed about

To free myself, I had to forgive myself
To find life, I had to forgive others

Yet, something was pounding down
hard on the guilt, like an ancient old drum
beating me

It was all that old music I had heard
in the rain, without any dew

My slipping, bitter-sweet memories
 were oily

I was bottled up inside a bottle  
drinking
drinking
drinking

This is where the tiger lives for death
and it's pain is never freed in slavery

The footprints of my whereabouts
are not able to walk out of slippery
death

There is that once inch taking
a mile for the longest day

Fighting the heavy weight of the night
...like a boxer without gloves...
losing control

This half measured way of heart cannot fight
like mad sea stones throwing waves
into the crashing low tide
...Of all the drinking seasons,
a never changing flow...where I die

Callous are the lions with brittle bones
Snapping claws, when the body is shaking

Here is where a lion is on prowl
as the tiger is taking prey,
There are cages that unlock the wild
within the iron fists
like cats that have claws...in the raging wind

The night is on the howl, and I am thirsty
. . .Always thirsty . . .

"I seek within this weak will of heart" I cried out loud.
"that cannot light a match or start a fire that I might
touch the hand of hope someday.

I cried out and sobriety came to me  . . .
This was the day when hope wrapped up ribbons in a box
with a special gift that lives

I find the key to sobriety, and unlock myself
I give myself this everyday
...I don't deserve it. . . .I hate it and I loathe it...
. . . .like it and love. . .Sobriety is my friend . . . .my foe

I need and despise it...I bleed up inside of it
I touch and become what becomes me

I cry with tears that have longed to be shed
peeling away the layers of toxic shame
And I don't have a single solitary clue
I walk slow . . . I try not to run
I am a turtle . . .

The bottle...
A crazy drive on a lonely road
down an empty street
how it takes you places
no one would ever want to go

..I am sober ten years today
and I am grateful . . . another 24

I still don't have a single solitary clue
I'll never know all of the answers

Surrender is the Key

We are all but dreamers ..shooting arrows into the sphere of our lives
as quiet beautiful butterflies soar pass by us in the night
We are in the journey, and we have exactly what we need.

If the truth be known . . . .I am just a baby...
blinking with these wide open eyes of wonder
Truth is, I'll be a kid for a long, long time

A carpenter...builds a house...fixes the roof...
singing, "If I had a hammer" . . .
repairs the road, tears it down, and starts all over again

I am in the house and the carpenter is God.
I live within the house of my own soul

An orchestra comes around with a broken fiddle
It's the same orchestra that I hear a lot of alcoholics
in recovery talk about.

Sobriety repairs some wounds. It plays us a new tune. Leads us to the band  

Reviews

[dan]

Karen, First, congrats on your 10 years from a fellow alcoholic in recovery. Second, what really impressed me about this piece was how you maintained an even flow throughout; sometimes longer pieces will lost the way, moving around randomly...this piece stays the course and makes a straight linear path through to the conclusion. As the first poem of yours that I've reviewed, I must say that I am very impressed with this work. The wordplay is powerful, the imagery riveting. I'm looking forward to reading more of your writing. Thank you for sharing this with all of us. take care...dan

[Writer]

Great piece. Keep Fighting. Seems like You've became a very strong human being throughtout the difficult times.

[Mick Burke]

This poem really brings home, to those of us without personal experience, what addiction and recovery are all about. Congratulations on a great poem and on 10 sober years Karen.

[Willard Wells]

I am an addictive personality and have somehow been able to stay some what sane and I have worked with others to recovery from whatever the selection of the day may be. Your words all speak of the pain and struggle that all addicts have and with so much passion and truth. Congratulations and maintain your focus on your words. It is not an easy path or for the faint of heart.

[VALORMORE DE PLUME]

Within the whirlwind,
our dreams and dreads,
inch down the drains,
of yesteryear.

A bitter pill to swallow,
to gag on bygone days,
15 years sober undone in one shot,
right back on the wagon,
another 15 stretches out behind.

Gone is the thirsty desire,
for sour mash,
foolish head,
has peeled the years,
my acrid shadow,
clings to my heels,
as I walk,
the narrow way,
into the light.

The rearview mirror,
reveals the dark monster,
the shadow is bedraggled,
like a ragged sail,
yet the future,
is filled with promise.

The potter's hands,
extrude our form,
as the sands of time,
etch our viggor.

We are the fuzzy worms
that devour the garden,
and leave ranset waste,
upon the pathways.

Metamorphosis looms,
and up from the tombs,
rising on wings of light,
no more darkness of night.

An inspiring piece of work Karen. I like your voice in this. Please pardon my musing reflections.

[Madafakarovsky]

Karen this is amazing, after you review on the chapter of my story I decided to spy some of your stuff and I gotta say I'm proud I did. I love how you express yourself, how you put your feeling on a sheet, how out of your past experience you create a breathtaking writing.
Well done my friend.

[Dan_Thywill]

What a very powerful piece. How you express, it's hooking, word after word. Well expressed and well composed and should I say, great poem!

[AaronFreitas]

This is an awesome piece... very deep and written with a lot of passion. Good work my friend!

[Procky]

Hey Karen, thanks for the review.
You're writing is very deep. A good mix of ambiguity and nature. I hope it heals your wounds...

[Kurai.Merodi]

wow, i really love how this i set out
love how its about life and the motions you go through (this is how i read it like)
Thanks for sharing ^-^