Forever SLeep

I can't wait to die

I'll be forever asleep

Now I am at peace

Reviews

[Su' Nacnetaf]

First I thought this was anothr poem in which the speaker desperately wants to die, then upon reading again I noticed it's not (or maybe it was due to mistke), it is a good short poem. Al principio el hablante dice que no puede esperar para morir, que estará siempre dormido/a, y al final repentinamente resulta que ya se encuentra en paz, so, the speaker isn't desperately wanting to die, he/she's already dead, or pehaps, more appropiately, died while writing the poem.

[Tony]

Let me hold your head underwater until you kick, and then see if the application of death is so attractive......
Just Kidding.
NiceDarkPoem short and sweet with foulodorofapathy, slick with doubts unachievable dream.

[Hotel Mornings]

I was thinking about being entirely too philosophical here and debate where death always means "peace" but I'm not too interested in that idea anymore, ha. I always say this when I am commenting upon a short poem, but they are a bother to write and all too often they fall flat. You said what you needed to in the perfect amount of words and the shortness of it matches the idea as a whole. Well constructed, morbid though that's a good thing, and an enjoyment to read.

[cilla]

The Haiku is sometimes a very overlooked and forgotten art but you done excellent job creating a perhaps melancholy but thoughtful piece. Sad and beautiful.

[Last Lying Look]

Very short.
Very exact.

I like this piece not only for it's form
but also because I understand the desire for an eternal sleep.

Excellent job.

-Elissa

[Michael Carr]

haven't read a haiku on the site in a long time.
it's strong and gives a great sense of personal emotion, especially impressive with so little to work with, considering the restrictions of haiku form. you pulled it off well.
good work.

[Michael X]

this brings to mind the nature of haiku, the syllable structure meant to capture the essence of the subject because in this identifies as such, like cause and effect, powerful, great job

[An owl on the moon]

Sharply written, echoes so well the pain I felt for years... Hopeless longing to die, to find peace from this life... Powerful!