We Should

A poem on let downs. ( sigh )

Yes we should hang out

but after you eat me out

 

Yes we should go to the movie

just don't forget to call me

 

Yes we should go to dinner

but you think that girl is finer

 

Yes we should go on a date

please don't be late

 

Yes we should see each other again

just don't leave me again

 

Yes we should get married

wouldn't we be happy?

 

Yes You could call me

you could love me

you could f**k me

you could leave me

but you will be an a*****e

if you would ( sigh )

Reviews

[Rain]

You know that's unfair putting your picture up there... Forgetting the picture...These are the tangeled thoughts of love. You expressed them well. I like reading your work. It is real, raw, not cluttered by mystical lines that leave you wondering what the writer was thinking. Good job.. Rain..

[Coyote Poetry]

You are beautiful in the photo. I like the direct way you wrote the poem. Wisdom in a person is to desire and enjoy the person you are with. Nothing as bad as someone who looks around when they are with you. You wrote a poem a honest pen. I tell my children and anyone who will listen. Walk slow and easy into love. Give nothing away for free. A outstanding poem. Thank you.
Coyote

[MissWordSmith]

I think the award for originality should go to you :)
Again, rebellious, without the attention-seeking aspect, another enjoyable read.
It came across as confusing, loving, longing, hurting, and finally, giving-up.
Odd, but nice.

[bluessadmood]

yes we should hang out,you wont eat me out..
lets go out ,dont forget to call
we should date ,but dont be late
we should see each a lot ,just promise never leave me
should we be married and be happy again
yes do call me, and please love me
promise never leave me,if you do ,you lose me..
lovely write...

[DavidRyan]

I like this a lot. Your anger is , well, bad a*s I guess. Sorry. Apparently not feeling very wordy right now. But I like this a lot. I like the ending. Call it what it is. Hopefully he at least ate you out.

[An owl on the moon]

Such a sadly beautiful contrast of what we desire of someone and what oftens comes to a bitter end... Vividly expressed and powerfully communicated... Excellent write...

[Micheal Teal]

Very honest. I applaud your authenticity and truth. Its important to let our emotions flow freely when we write. Thank you for sharing this beautifully visceral poem. Nicely done!

[Cdnsurfer]

Interesting, sad piece. I think you should stick with the couplet format you started with for the whole piece, so that the whole work has a symmetry about it. Throughout, I see you have hurt and anger coming out in all that you say. Raw emotional work. Seems to be disappointment (overthinking) before the relationship has even had a chance to start - love, sex, marriage, and divorce before he's even asked. Sometimes, you just have to let events unfold as they should, and enjoy the ride, being well aware of your self-respect and trusting yourself. Cheers! Rob

[Jason]

I think I should say...nice write. I can't help but want to say, OK, to a few of the lines...lol, very raw though. Interesting!

[The Tao of Bri]

Gotta love the fiest!

[Robert Luna]

You write with your heart and that is always a pleasure to see and read. You totally caught me off guard with your opening lines. Brutal honesty and right in your face with the thought and action of this piece.

Damn Goood Job!!!!!