[untitled]

To Forever Sleep

Is what I truelly wish for

Beauty in Death

Reviews

[A.J. Smith]

Thank you, Karen123, for asking me to review your work. I think Gabe's comments below are perfect. Death, which may indeed be wonderful, will be a state you will be in for all eternity. Life is but a brief flicker; don't rush it. Any darkness you now face will surely mold you into someone special, someone uniquely gifted to perform a vital service at some point later in your life. I guarantee that, some day, when you are old, you will be glad you endured your time on Earth, because you will have made a real difference in a life, or maybe more than one life. Some human, who you may not even know yet, is going to forever changed for the better because of you, and because of what you've experienced in your life, good and bad. I hope you keep writing, expressing your fears, frustrations and anxieties...you will discover you are among friends here, and not alone.

[N. James Frazier]

Dark and respectable. Simple too, i like that. I was going to sugest something but yeah it blew up in my face because it didnt follow the hiaku pattern. Damn... well anyway very nice piece. I wish you luck in your future pieces...

[The Archangel Gabriel]

That is positively beautiful, and I long for death as well! I believe that truly is spelled "truly."

http://dictionary.reference.com/browse/truly

This is not criticism as much as a "minor correction," and I applaud your efforts to write in a foreign language. I imagine that this can not be even remotely easy, and I don't even speak or write much in my foreign language for comparison purposes.

Also, the last line has only 4 syllables instead of 5 if you wanted to make a traditional haiku. That should be 5-7-5, but people are making non-traditional haiku as well. You are the artist, and we are but servants to your inspiration and devoted followers.

I think that you take too much influence from the Islamic tradition of longing desperately for your own demise. Life is for the living, and your whole life is ahead of you! You have a lot to offer to the world, and it would be a pity to see this end prematurely by accident or intent. I know that sometimes life throws you lemons, but please make lemonade. It is not as simple as this sounds, but some of the best people that I know went through some of the worst adversity on all of the planet. They say that difficult times build character.

If you ever want an ear to reach me and discuss anything at all, I am here for you. You can not even imagine the adversity that I have overcome to get just this far in life, and it is probably less than half over. I hope that you do the same and perish a happy woman in old age after a long life of public service as well as some personal satisfaction. We say in English, "It is always darkest before the dawn."

Luv,
Gabe