Chapter 4 The Underworld

CHAPTER FOUR

The Underworld

I woke up with a sore back and the bitter taste of what had been identified to me as limestone. I guess my kidnapper, deranged as he was, was sort of handsome. I'm positive that he'd be every goth girl's dream boy, but I don't do tall, dark, and stalker-y. He'd identified himself as both Jesse, and recently as Hades, the guy had some issues….I just hope he wasn't the type to do some sort of weird disturbing things to his victims. I'd been here for so long though, I'd lost count of days, and mostly he just had a huge store of cheesy pick-up lines and really had it in for Aiden. So far, even though he had some serious codependency issues, he didn't actually seem dangerous, just delusional �"that's a cheery batch of thoughts for the morning- I thought to myself.

I hadn't even rolled over when Jesse/Hades/crazy kidnapper noted that I was among the conscious. I'd refused to eat for probably about 3 days before I caved. I decided that if he was going to poison me it was a lot better than the pain of my stomach eating itself, after three days that really starts to hurt! So, when my lanky-lurking-loony of a kidnapper decided to sweeten another day of imprisonment with a full breakfast, as in eggs, bacon, pancakes, sausage, juice, the works…I had to admit to myself that I should at least try to be civil. I honestly think he was just really lonely in his little…hole…and decided (once he had his mental breakdown that is) that he needed company.

Oh yeah- the hole- I went back to talking to myself internally again…..why a hole? Is he a wanted criminal, and I haven't even really seen him leave, come to think of it I hadn't seen him appear either…he was just kind of here EVERY moment I have been awake in this hellhole for longer than I want to know. The guy writes me poetry, and reads it, he cooks for me, even bought me clothing and launders it…I guess this is every girl's dream? Personally all I can think of after being �"literally- holed up this long is a big open sky, a sleeping bag, and maybe some more of the S'mores Aiden and I made this summer. Aiden….that hurts….it hurts that sometimes when I was especially gloomy Jesse/Hades used to let me see him through some weird super modern T.V. webcam monitoring system that really looks like the screen is a natural extension of the surrounding rock-it must have cost him a massive amount of money….but he's hiding, so maybe he's a reclusive genius and did it himself? He certainly doesn't act like a genius, he ACTS like the absolute worst corniest boyfriend that every girl has had sometime during her teenage years -the one who calls every 20 minutes just to say "I love you".

I guess I must have been staring blankly again, lost in all those thoughts, because when I come back to home sweet hole in the ground breakfast is in front of me, that hesitation I lost at day 3, yeah it's still gone, I like food. I guess it doesn't matter much where I am, that particular quality is not going to change. Besides, I literally �"thinking to myself- at least it isn't talking yet- have no one to impress here. Hey! �"I guess I joke in my head too? - Maybe he will be repulsed by my eating habits, and realize over time they won't change, and dump me back where he left me.

Getting back to Aiden, because that's like my vacation home here….well except that he looks damn near suicidal, and that's where the whole "was" and "used to" thing comes into play. I was pretty upset seeing Aiden sitting on the log where we always spent time together, sitting there talking to me like I was a ghost, like I was dead. I'm not a calm collective kind of upset if you actually manage to anger me, so I did the one rational, logical thing to do when you are upset with a potentially dangerous kidnapper. I hit him HARD. I gave him the best uppercut to the gut I can muster, and I'm not a little girl, it's a good hit. While he was doubled over I started chucking things at the screen as hard as I could in an attempt to break it, unfortunately that consisted of my earrings and a shoe. The shoe didn't make it, I was too far away, but one of the earrings did reach the screen…at least I think it did, but I never heard it hit the screen…and I didn't see it in the floor. Considering that I was a good 50 feet from the screen behind some brutally ugly bars though, it could very well have been just out of my line of sight. That was yesterday, and since Jesse/Hades stocked away in a huff and disappeared into whatever was around the corner, I'm assuming my viewing privileges are suspended indefinitely. His silent presentation of my breakfast sort of confirms this, normally he likes to sound like a badly written teenage love story exploded in his brain and wiped out all other paths of thought. It's really pretty gross.

I picked through the eggs and the hash browns that looked, and probably were, home cooked. �"Why does he go through all this effort? - I silently ask myself. After all, it isn't like I can go anywhere or do anything about being around him...and he KIDNAPPED me, it doesn't exactly make for the beginning of some great love story. Jesse/Hades returned a little after I'd finished picking at the food he brought in.

"I don't see what you see in him Sid", he said sadly, almost with resignation. "Aiden has trouble deciding what cereal he's going to have for breakfast….the guy is in his twenties…he barely knows what he's doing for the day, let alone for the rest of his life, where do you think that leaves you fitting in?" he pushed. Yeaaaah…..this was really a good time to keep my mouth shut, this guy was ticking me off. "He's going to do what young guys do, Sid, his tastes are going to change, and he's going to move on, he's going to drop you like yesterday's paper. The best you could hope for is that he isn't potty training some puppy when he decides that he's outgrown you relationship with him. Do you want to end up being the metaphorical potty pad for all the crap he doesn't want to deal with when he decides it's time to part ways?!" He was raising his voice now, growing impatient with my lack of response. Well I was getting tired of not responding. "What!?" I asked, "You think you are so much older? So much more suave? More experienced? You think that your brief time of holding me captive has given you the secrets to my soul? What is it EXACTLY that makes you think you are any better?" His words were soft, but they hit like a freight train.

"I love you Sid." I was dumbfounded. In all the time Aiden and I had together, we hadn't quite worked up to that yet. We'd both been drug through some REAL crap, we were both cautious with our feelings, and I knew I loved him, but truth be told we'd never told one another. Now this weird delusional lurpy guy who liked to spend his time in caves making advances on hostage women had beaten him to the punch. Weirdly, it kind of makes me irritated with Aiden…..that's not very fair I know. He interrupted my sideline thoughts and took my hand, I wanted to hit him, but I decided that I DID like that he fed me and that I better quit making him angry. "I've lived a long life, a really full life. I KNOW what I want in a partner. I know a beautiful woman when I see one. I don't mean just your body Sid….you are amazing. I could love you forever. My mind wouldn't change; I could love you just like all the fairy tales girls keep thinking are how the world works. Only, for you, I would really make it happen. I would make sure you were happy every day for the rest of your life. You'd never feel lonely, you'd never question my feelings for you, and you would never have to ask for anything that could make you happier, you would have everything you could want." K- so I like food, but apparently my hate for cheesy romance and clingy behavior is worse. "Great!" I said, "So you will let me out of this cage then?" I asked without expectation. "You will let me go home and go back to my family and my boyfriend, and you will disappear like a bad memory?" He started to object, but I continued, butting him off ", because all of those things would definitely make me happy. Actually let me rephrase that, I will be as bitchy as I possibly can, I will make your life a living hell, until you let me go and bring me back home-once you do that I will be so happy even Barbie couldn't beat my smile."

He turned away at that and began to walk out of the room. Looking over his shoulder at me, he smiled wistfully "The saddest thing Sid", he said, "Is that I've watched you for such a long time. I know everything about you, to the last little detail. I think if you got to know me with the same amount of devotion for the task, that you just might love me as deeply as I love you." With that he disappeared around the corner and left me to my melancholy. I muse to myself; he doesn't know a thing about love. You can't be pushed into it, and in fact as soon as you attempt to change who or what someone is, you cease to show that you love them. He changed my whole life; he's kept me locked up. He could have catalogued my whole life away, but he doesn't want to love me, he wants to possess me.

There isn't much to do in a little rock wall and metal barred cell, so I entertain myself by thinking of how I might get out of this place. Aiden is looking for me I'm sure, well he was….now he probably thinks I've been murdered. I don't know how long I've been here, but it's been at least a year. The only time I've left this cell is to shower and dress. Oddly, Jesse has a room that has most of the normal things a bedroom has. It's his room though, and as such, it is not secured the way my little human sized hamster cage is. I did also mention that it has mostly normal things; his adjoined bathroom has a dark marbled garden bath tub. I really want to know how he managed to get that down here. It is admittedly amazing. It's pretty much the only time that I am in a good mood here, and the only time I have privacy. WOW….I only have a private moment when I'm on the toilet or in the bath….it could be worse I could have a very not private bath. My body gives an involuntary shudder at the thought. It looks like I am going to be here indefinitely at least, maybe until I find a way out. Thinking to myself, I come to the realization that I am going to have to play into his affections. If I want the security to become more lax I am going to have to make him trust that I feel the same. I'm going to have to convince him that I'm falling in love. "Haha…" I give a weak chuckle, here's to hoping that I can convince him that does not include sharing his gigantic bed. Although, the worn out little mattress I've been on has definitely seen better days. Maybe if I'm nicer and there is another room to this place besides this one and his I can sleep someplace away from all the stalactites, stalagmites, and metal bars. Maybe this place won't be so much like prison if Jesse believes I'm falling in love with him…..whew…and ick….but necessary.