A Crane's Gift

A poem for the Tsunami in Japan. I did it fast, so it has some work to be done. But I thought I should try SOMETHING. I'm trying harder to work with metaphors and descriptive laungaue.

Angry children pile at the wall, wailing for salvation

Pounding and crying to be released

Red pooling onto the faces of them

The wall's color leached.

Hands grab the sky, clawing and ripping it apart

And fall down in sheets.

Pounding and thrashing.

All eyes set on defeat. 

A small tongue laps over the edge,

Pooling over the red wall

And shattering on the pavement,

While others start to fall.

A break in the wall!

Allowing greedy grabbers to take and devour

They start chewing on a deserted world

And spitting it out, as if sour.

The foamy mouths of salivating children

Slither down a broken path

Whipping around

Their fists of wrath.

Screams die in the greedy tongues of desire

And the stream becomes a sea of souls

To late to save, in late to flee,

Lives die out like a fire's coals.

Pools inhale the bits of life tucked aside,

And breath out an icy discovery.

The earth, shattered,

A seemingly hopeless discovery.

As all calms down, and the children flee

Small drops come down to clean devastation and sorrow.

Strolking faces of the rainbow,

Promising a better tommorow.

And as light breaks through the evil's tread,

A mother crane calls her children from bed. 

Reviews

[Arien Bleuefire]

your rhyming abilities and the emotional tug of your poems will one day make you famous :) this poem is beautiful and the reason for which you wrote it is heart wrenching

[NoAirToBreatheXSuffocat..]

Amazing. YOU and your POEM SKILLS amaze me.

[Emunah June.]

woah I was enchanted the entire time

[Petal]

:'( that was beautiful karalynn! To Japan I pray for thee ^^