Reunited

My first attempt at writing a short story

            Claire hadn’t seen her father in almost 10 years to the day.  She was 12 when he left.  Now, here she is: an adult, a 22 year old young woman who chose this.  She wants to see what he has to say for himself after all these years.  She only knows her mom’s version of what went down that night.  Or maybe she just misses her Daddy.  “No,” Claire tells herself, alone for now, but surrounded by airport personnel and thousands of passengers, “this isn’t going to be some wonderful reunion.  He left us.  He left me.”  Whatever it was going to be, it was going to start soon.  Her father’s flight was due to arrive in 17 minutes and she was waiting for him at baggage claim, her head full of a concoction of emotions she forgot even existed.  Anxiety, fear, and nervousness were just the tip of the iceberg.

Claire began to think of all the questions she had for him, but was distracted by her habit of people watching.  It was a habit she found hard to quit at the most inopportune times.  A happy, but exhausted, looking family were wearing Mickey Mouse tee-shirts and had obviously just returned from the Happiest Place on Earth.  A lively couple walked right by her, completely unaware of their surroundings.  A reunited couple in a long distance relationship, she thought to herself.

            Then her watchful eye caught sight of a man who looked more like her than she would’ve preferred and everything else seemed to stop.  He was looking around, obviously trying to find Claire.  Finally, after observing him for about two minutes fumble around through people, she yelled, “Daddy!  Uh.. I mean, Dan.  I’m right here.”

Reviews

[Southern_Writes]

Wow. I love this. As a girl who can sort of relate. A biological father I met at 12, and a step father who was in and out soon after. From 12 until about 23 I found myself mostly without either. Its is a complex reel of emotions that a girl experiences. My only critique is one I once received myself. Give dialogue its own line.

[KarMarBar]

I'm glad you can relate, as I can relate to so much of your writing as well. Thanks for the critique, I'll have to fix that. You're right, it would read better if the dialogue had its own lines. Thanks so much, once again!

[Southern_Writes]

Of course hun!

[wordman]

a intresting story,and believable .i could see a great story or book or series

[KarMarBar]

I appreciate that you thought it was "believable" because this story came strictly from my own imagination and I was going for "believable" as it was one of my first attempts at fiction. Thank you for reading this and reviewing it. I appreciate it!

[wordman]

my pleasure

[Ayushi Jha]

Quite an awe-inspiring work! much kudos to you. keep going :)

[KarMarBar]

Thank you, I greatly appreciate that!

[Bill Grimke-Drayton]

This is a good start at writing a short story, Karen. You have got the portrayal of the emotions absolutely right. At first she begins to have second thoughts about the man who caused such heartache in the family. She is constantly aware of the exact time of the arrival of his flight. She is almost counting the minutes. Ten years is a long time to make up for lost time. She suddenly has doubts as to what to say. She is then distracted by her habit of people watching which makes her envious of other people's good fortune - the fun of having come back from Disneyworld, and a couple, arm in arm, completely wrapped up in themselves. Then - a word which comes like a heavy weight or a full stop - she sees him. I note that she catches of a man who looks too much like her to be anyone else but her father, and she is uncomfortable for a second or two. I think she feels sorry for him as he wanders around looking for his daughter whom he hasn't seen for too long. Her first instinct is to call him Dad as she does, but reverts to being the adult by calling him by his first name - Dan. I really liked this story.

[KarMarBar]

Thanks again, Bill. I think I might try to write more short stories, while continuing to incorporate things I incorporate in my poetry, like imagery and whatnot. I am very glad you liked the story, especially since you write way more stories than I do. :)