When I was hiding my true identity as a gay man, I was diagnosed as being bipolar or worse still manic depressive. The symptoms were supposedly found but not the cause until I came out and they just faded away into the background. Bipolar disorder is supposed to be a lifelong condition. In my case that is clearly not so. Once I gained my freedom, that was the end of my depression. People who assumed I was going to be suffering that way all my life have had to get used to the new me. More positive and certainly no doormat or pushover. I'm afraid I feel a bit unsure about reviewing this poem.
Posted 9 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Bill, I feel like you hiding your identity as a gay man is similar to my trying to hide my anxiety d.. read moreBill, I feel like you hiding your identity as a gay man is similar to my trying to hide my anxiety disorder and depression. Unfortunately for me, my diagnoses won't just go away. However, I am happy that you are no longer classified as manic or bipolar. It stinks WHY you are no longer classified that way, but more power to you for being a proud and "out" man.
9 Years Ago
Sorry, perhaps I should not have said what I said. I think I was wrongly diagnosed in the first plac.. read moreSorry, perhaps I should not have said what I said. I think I was wrongly diagnosed in the first place. I do not think I ever had the condition. The strain of essentially living a lie caused my depression which was general. Once I no longer had to live that lie, the reason for my depression went. So what I went through is not in any shape or form anything like what you are enduring day after day. I feel desperately sorry for you, Karen. I'm glad you have found a new family who love you unconditionally. That is the key. Unconditional love, as I have discovered with my new partner. He is a god-send. I am not going to let go of this any time, because I have never been happier. The future for us is bright. I hope and pray that one day you can say the same thing, in spite of everything. I promise that I will read and review others of your poems. Take care.
9 Years Ago
I also think you were incorrectly diagnosed because it seems the doctors thought you were so depress.. read moreI also think you were incorrectly diagnosed because it seems the doctors thought you were so depressed because you had depression, but through your writing, I can tell that maybe you weren't depressed, you just needed someone to tell you that it is okay to be who you truly are. Your depression seemed to "disappear" once you felt comfortable enough to come out as a gay man. I am happy to hear that you have found your one true love. I am engaged to be married myself, so I know how amazing it feels to have that "God-send" who loves you unconditionally and makes you happier than you've ever been. It (almost) makes all the previous pain and heartache worth it in the long run, once you find your one and only. I am still reading your stories, but I posted some other genres other than poetry, like a Memoir, a Narrative Essay, and a short scene. I am trying my hand at other types of writing besides poetry. Since you already write stories and things other than poetry, your feedback on my other writing genres would be greatly appreciated! Thanks again, Bill.
Karen, I do not regret a single thing that has happened in my life, because it has brought me to thi.. read moreKaren, I do not regret a single thing that has happened in my life, because it has brought me to this point.
9 Years Ago
Exactly! I am happy to hear you say that! It's like the butterfly effect: change one thing, change .. read moreExactly! I am happy to hear you say that! It's like the butterfly effect: change one thing, change everything. I strive to also never regret anything that has ever happened to me because it has all shaped me into the person I am today.
I refuse to see a specialist,
for what would they compare?
A complete and utter, shattered mess
my issues, so much to bare.
I hate myself,
but love to much
a panicked mind
jumping at a touch
I have to clean
the house a disaster
by with with two small boy
my chaos un-mastered.
A blanket thrown across my heart
to keep the beating steady,
but alone at night I cry these tears,
unwanting of your pity.
Anger, Sadness, disarray
an utter mess I know
but I won't ever let you worry
for I never let it show
Sorry. Very rarely I get inspired....Thank you...this piece was speaking in volumes and my heart had to echo a reply.
Posted 8 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
8 Years Ago
Don't be sorry. I'm honored that my poem inspired you. It's great, by the way! Thanks again for read.. read moreDon't be sorry. I'm honored that my poem inspired you. It's great, by the way! Thanks again for reading!
voices in your head,bad dreams at night,cold sweats
Posted 9 Years Ago
1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Do you also suffer from anxiety and/or depression? I ask because you're right on point. Thank you f.. read moreDo you also suffer from anxiety and/or depression? I ask because you're right on point. Thank you for reading and reviewing!! As always, it is much appreciated.
I guess you do! Thanks for making me feel not-so-alone. Doesn't it make you feel like no one gets i.. read moreI guess you do! Thanks for making me feel not-so-alone. Doesn't it make you feel like no one gets it sometimes?
9 Years Ago
i don`t let it bother me! i have dreams and i wake up fighting sometimes,but can`t control that read morei don`t let it bother me! i have dreams and i wake up fighting sometimes,but can`t control that
and the meds usually make it worse,side effects,i don`t take any for that
Hmm... I can relate to this. Yeah, they always try and throw pills at you.. My experience with meds is very rocky. Theres a lot of things people don't take time to understand and help. Like, I have touretts syndrome and people always mistake it for what it really is. Also, the anxiety and such, ah, yes, i can completely relate
When I was hiding my true identity as a gay man, I was diagnosed as being bipolar or worse still manic depressive. The symptoms were supposedly found but not the cause until I came out and they just faded away into the background. Bipolar disorder is supposed to be a lifelong condition. In my case that is clearly not so. Once I gained my freedom, that was the end of my depression. People who assumed I was going to be suffering that way all my life have had to get used to the new me. More positive and certainly no doormat or pushover. I'm afraid I feel a bit unsure about reviewing this poem.
Posted 9 Years Ago
2 of 2 people found this review constructive.
9 Years Ago
Bill, I feel like you hiding your identity as a gay man is similar to my trying to hide my anxiety d.. read moreBill, I feel like you hiding your identity as a gay man is similar to my trying to hide my anxiety disorder and depression. Unfortunately for me, my diagnoses won't just go away. However, I am happy that you are no longer classified as manic or bipolar. It stinks WHY you are no longer classified that way, but more power to you for being a proud and "out" man.
9 Years Ago
Sorry, perhaps I should not have said what I said. I think I was wrongly diagnosed in the first plac.. read moreSorry, perhaps I should not have said what I said. I think I was wrongly diagnosed in the first place. I do not think I ever had the condition. The strain of essentially living a lie caused my depression which was general. Once I no longer had to live that lie, the reason for my depression went. So what I went through is not in any shape or form anything like what you are enduring day after day. I feel desperately sorry for you, Karen. I'm glad you have found a new family who love you unconditionally. That is the key. Unconditional love, as I have discovered with my new partner. He is a god-send. I am not going to let go of this any time, because I have never been happier. The future for us is bright. I hope and pray that one day you can say the same thing, in spite of everything. I promise that I will read and review others of your poems. Take care.
9 Years Ago
I also think you were incorrectly diagnosed because it seems the doctors thought you were so depress.. read moreI also think you were incorrectly diagnosed because it seems the doctors thought you were so depressed because you had depression, but through your writing, I can tell that maybe you weren't depressed, you just needed someone to tell you that it is okay to be who you truly are. Your depression seemed to "disappear" once you felt comfortable enough to come out as a gay man. I am happy to hear that you have found your one true love. I am engaged to be married myself, so I know how amazing it feels to have that "God-send" who loves you unconditionally and makes you happier than you've ever been. It (almost) makes all the previous pain and heartache worth it in the long run, once you find your one and only. I am still reading your stories, but I posted some other genres other than poetry, like a Memoir, a Narrative Essay, and a short scene. I am trying my hand at other types of writing besides poetry. Since you already write stories and things other than poetry, your feedback on my other writing genres would be greatly appreciated! Thanks again, Bill.
Karen, I do not regret a single thing that has happened in my life, because it has brought me to thi.. read moreKaren, I do not regret a single thing that has happened in my life, because it has brought me to this point.
9 Years Ago
Exactly! I am happy to hear you say that! It's like the butterfly effect: change one thing, change .. read moreExactly! I am happy to hear you say that! It's like the butterfly effect: change one thing, change everything. I strive to also never regret anything that has ever happened to me because it has all shaped me into the person I am today.
I am new to this website so I have to figure my way around a bit, so please bare with me. A little about me... I have always considered myself better with the written word than the spoken word. I have.. more..