More Magical Than A Fairy Tale(with oyinshoola)

A collaborative effort.

I walked aimlessly on the beach
The sand clogging my tired feet
Darkness and loneliness beclouded me
The bright sun did nothing to lighten
The stupid echoes of lovers' laughter
Brought back broken memories and anger
As I sat to think of my shattered dreams
I saw an angel run by with golden beam
Dark braided hair and pure spotless skin
Her smile shot through my heart and I was king
From that moment I knew it was her,you
Now I think of this picture and all we've been through

His face was drowned with saddness and pain
And his heart of what my answer might be.
Love as they say is blind,
dimmed my eyes from all his faults.
I saw a sun follow me
With his eyes
And blood rushed into my face
Like the wishing star will run past d sky.
My feets went shaky for a moment
And my heart did not doubt
That he was mine.
Now I think of this picture and all we've been through

Soon after, we became good friends
I was sunk in the river of love, no end
With you my heart glowed with unrivalled glee
Without you I felt without a half of me
But you never took notice
Perhaps,the blame is on my cowardice

Then, I wished the friendship went deeper
Only that my coyness kept this secret.
He was like the morning sun
That had no choice but to pierce into my window ; my life.
He was like the bright moon
That ruled the sky; my heart.

I finally summoned courage
And serenaded her with a homage
To my greatest shock,she smiled
And wrapped her arms around my neck 'be mine'
We kissed and surrendered to Cupid
We cared not if they called us stupid
A year after,a I got on one knee
She said 'yes' and my senses did flee
I met her parents who disliked me
And rejected me for my history
We cried and our eyes shed blood
And we decided to run from home

At first, our love was sweet
Like that of romeo and juliet,
But little did we know
That our economy will go low.
As if God decided to punish us
for our sins,
an innocent baby
With eyes I still envy
Branched into our lives.
The fights, tension and arguements
grew faster than our love
and our baby became a burden uncared for.

We were young and foolish
But we could not continue to pout
Together we believed in hope
And went through each day with faith
We had days of hunger and thirst
But we did not wail but we held on to love
I had to give up my ambition
For my you and our innocent son
With prayers,we survived
And I got a profitable job
Together we fought through the pain
Faced every demon and roared in the fire

Our love lit again like the sparkling stars
Our love rose again like fireworks.
One thing that never us in the rough times
Was how we stared at each other with hope
That one day our love will resume its obeah.
Those little eyes that I envy
has brought to me his own love
And allowed my back to ache
from rocking my own grandchildren.
Oh... I see how beautiful love can charm
I see how strong love can be
I see how unfailing love can prove.

Author's Note

Once again,the poem was co-written with oyinshoola,another writerscafe member and a good friend of mine. You can search her works. She has this poem posted too.

Reviews

[Sami Khalil]

"Soon after, we became good friends
I was sunk in the river of love, no end
With you my heart glowed with unrivalled glee
Without you I felt without a half of me "

[Thaddius]

There are some beautiful parts to this:

Then, I wished the friendship went deeper
Only that my coyness kept this secret.
He was like the morning sun
That had no choice but to pierce into my window ; my life.
He was like the bright moon
That ruled the sky; my heart.

It's honest and beautiful. I feel the sting behind my eyes. I do think this is too long. That's also part of its charm. You do spell out much more than you have to, but it's a timeline of your love, and I'm no stranger to playing out the course of events in my mind.

You need to decide if the person is a 'you' or a 'she'. Also, clarify when you switch to talking about your son, otherwise it might sound confusing. I like how you jumped into the surreal angel imagery on the beach - I love when reality and fantasy blend together. Strong effort

[Vidya Bacchus]

This is so lovely.When you fall in love it is all you think about until reality intrudes and you have to face it.But trials make you stronger :)

[Oyindamola Shoola]

it looks beautiful..........I can't stop reading it over and over again

[Travis Gibson (poetic h..]

A wonderful tale of life coming full circle with the one you love, up and downs and all! Well done... you two worked your magic on this piece.

[Sami Khalil]

A wonderful collaboration between the two of you. The product is very good and lovely. Like they say two heads are better than one and in this case two hearts are better than one...:)................