Drifting

Losing a loved one

So I guess we're over now...Everything between us is gone...We haven't talked in weeks...god...it seems so long...I shouldn't of been so blind...You were slowly drifting away...The words you said haunt me...every second of everyday...You said you loved me...that nothing will change...now you left me...and everything has been rearranged.

Author's Note

It's not completely done, I need a better title,
I been having writers block and I need help getting over it xD

Reviews

[Onyx Sky]

I think drifting really fits it perfectly. I'm not too good at giving the best reviews either. Mainly because I am a growing writer myself, and know that I too have lots to learn. All I know is that if I can indentify with it, then you have succeeded. If I can identify with it and it elicits emotions from me, then you've really succeeded. This poem speaks to me because I've been there and felt that. The best thing about writing is you can always go back and revise to you feel it says everything you intend for you to say. Keep it up. :)

[FRANK]

I like this poem, Kandii!

You requested some help in making your writing better, but I tend to refrain from doing that too much. If memory serves me correctly, Eddie Vedder told an interviewer that he wouldn't explain the meaning of the song, "Black," because it could possibly differ from the interpretations that others had of the song - henceforth destroying the love that each had for it individually. I like that approach. If I give opinions on how to make your writing better, then I might encourage you to change in ways that make other readers unhappy. Worst of all, you might stumble. I definitely don't want that!

Write the way that you want to write, and most of all, please continue to write. =o)

All I can really write here, as a means of helping you, is that you might consider the way that your lines appear on the written page. In other words, you might consider a particular form to where it is divided more clearly into stanzas.

FRANK