The Coffee EffectA Story by KanaeThe protagonist is a reluctant coffee expert who eventually finds out why she decides to keep on fueling this hobbyYou didn’t know why you knew so much about coffee, you don’t
even drink it. But your mother adored coffee. She would always sing a song as
she ground up the beans and then smelled them. The aroma filled the house as
though she had been baking cookies or cupcakes. As she got older would she ask, “Can you make me a cup of
Hawaiian Kona? I feel like something sweet with a little bit of nut.” Your experience as a barista and studying the world of
coffee just for her sake made you a rather reluctant expert. Personally, you
couldn’t handle the bitterness. Even with sugar or cream, there was something
about it that your taste buds couldn’t agree with; you stuck with making it
instead. A few years ago, you got your mother a Nespresso machine,
you even taught her how to use it. She could just pop in the small plastic pod
of whatever she desired with whatever she wanted in it; usually one and a half
teaspoons of sugar and a dash of milk. You secretly never agreed with her use
of milk instead of cream. But nonetheless, she still preferred your carefully
‘hand-crafted’ coffee. “Mom, you know I didn’t pick the beans myself,” you would
say as you poured the coffee beans into the grinder. “Well, it sure always tastes like it.” She would retort. Now, that Nespresso machine sits in her kitchen right next
to the sink. Barely used. The only time it was touched was a few years back when
you made hot chocolate as you were making her coffee; you would sit beside her
in the living room and she would tell you stories of when she was little. It
was the only time she talked about your father. Maybe you weren’t completely
honest about yourself in relation to learning about making coffee. You were a
single 32-year-old with a dwindling dating life. Your parents met in a coffee
shop, believe it or not. Your mother told you that she accidentally spilled coffee on
his dress pants at the café she used to work at as a young adult. She would
laugh as she recalled the memory of getting on her knees and wiping the hot liquid
off his pants or begging to let her pay for the dry cleaning. He said, “No need for that, just let me take you out on a
date.” “A date?” She replied. From that first date your parents were together. They
traveled the world and drank wonderful coffee. Or so, your mother would tell
you. They went everywhere, Brazil, Columbia, Vietnam, Austria. Their lives were
full of big cups of Joe and love, until you came along. Your birth halted their
world-wide coffee runs, not that they minded. Maybe you became a coffee expert
to pay them back or maybe you secretly pursued coffee because one day coffee
might just save your love life. Your sister, Angel is a more of a tea person and
neither of you really inherited the coffee craze gene. Angel stayed far away,
and you had to actively learn about it all on your own. But maybe it was better
this way that it was simply a hobby to keep your mom happy. Unfortunately, you’ve become the coffee star at work. Your
co-workers ask for tips on their coffee habits. They ask you which brands are
the best, how to grind coffee beans and the difference in the refinement of
that grind. And unfortunately, you would know all the answers to those
questions. It’s almost become your second job, one that doesn’t pay, of course.
You went from being a secretary at an office to the coffee
expert. The fact that you know so much about coffee is something you try to
hide as it’s a big thing for a lot of people and you feel uncomfortable sharing
your secrets about coffee. You feel as if those secrets are attached to your
family and you want to keep it that way. But you knew your mom would want you
to make people happy by sharing it, by giving them something no one else could.
You hoped you would forget all about coffee when your mom
passed but when she did, you did the opposite of forgetting; you remembered.
You began to hate coffee, but you still felt it in your bones, the aroma
sticking to your skin. You never forgot that Arabica was by far better than
Robusta or that your coffee stays warm 20% longer when you use cream instead of
milk or that your mom couldn’t go a day without a cup of coffee or as she got
older, she could only drink about half as she used to. No, it wasn’t the coffee that you couldn’t forget. It was
your mom. Your mom loved coffee so much that it became her. She became the
thing you were trying so hard to learn about. You never liked coffee, but you
would stay up all night reading books about the different types of beans from
all over the world, memorizing which was better and the how to make them taste
good, ones that had what aromas or flavors to them. You spent countless nights
in your kitchen grinding coffee beans and trying to make them taste like how
your mom liked. You would get frustrated when they didn’t turn out right, all
coffee was bitter to you anyway. But now that you didn’t have anything else to
learn about, you wanted more. You wanted your mom back, you wanted to make her
coffee again. So, you did. You went back to her grave every year, despite the pain,
despite the hurt of her death. You learned more and more about coffee every
year. You would make her favorite kind, Hawaiian Kona, take it to her grave
with your own thermos of hot chocolate and talk about your year. Just like old
times.
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What do you think of this story as a whole? Where could it be improved?
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Featured Review
Thanks to Julie for read requesting me. She knew I'd love this. I love coffee & I love stories told in a conversational style. The best part of this is how you use a storytelling device (seemingly telling a story about coffee) to convey a loving tribute to the coffee-loving mom. As I read, I could see this narrator using the "you" pronoun, but actually talking to him/herself. I've written hundreds of stories & I've never used the "you" point of view like this. Usually I don't like it, but you've made me like it here. You've made me want to try using "you" to tell a story this way. I feel that you do not play up the sensory aspects as much as you could. I would love to see popping observations about smell, taste, sound . . . how does that steaming popping coffeemaker sound? I would like to see you use more similes and metaphors . . . smells like a musty pungent creekside babble . . . she soars over her mundane life after her morning cup . . . basically, comparing one thing to another, instead of piling on adjectives to describe a thing. Your story is excellent & I'm just giving ideas for future writing as you ask in your authors note (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 4 Years Ago1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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Reviews
Thanks to Julie for read requesting me. She knew I'd love this. I love coffee & I love stories told in a conversational style. The best part of this is how you use a storytelling device (seemingly telling a story about coffee) to convey a loving tribute to the coffee-loving mom. As I read, I could see this narrator using the "you" pronoun, but actually talking to him/herself. I've written hundreds of stories & I've never used the "you" point of view like this. Usually I don't like it, but you've made me like it here. You've made me want to try using "you" to tell a story this way. I feel that you do not play up the sensory aspects as much as you could. I would love to see popping observations about smell, taste, sound . . . how does that steaming popping coffeemaker sound? I would like to see you use more similes and metaphors . . . smells like a musty pungent creekside babble . . . she soars over her mundane life after her morning cup . . . basically, comparing one thing to another, instead of piling on adjectives to describe a thing. Your story is excellent & I'm just giving ideas for future writing as you ask in your authors note (((HUGS))) Fondly, Margie
Posted 4 Years Ago1 of 1 people found this review constructive.
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Omg I love love this
It tells a story lots of little interesting stories of you your mother how your mum met your father how you are at work and I just love the overall style and rhythm with coffee in the foreground of every little bit of new information you tell Loved it wonderful ! Posted 4 Years Ago |
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Author
Kanae
Ontario, Canada
About
Studying Creative Writing and Publishing Short Story/Fiction writer in the genres of Slice of Life, Fantasy, Supernatural and sometimes Mystery more..Writing
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