Diary of a Diary

My feelings lately.

I am your best friend, 

I'll keep your secrets hidden. 

You cry onto my pages, 

And you laugh to yourself, thinking, 

"Life is fun!" 

When you were seven, you found 

Me in the trash. You picked me up, and 

Dusted me off, and called me your own. And

From that day on, you kept me under your arm, 

Always, because I would protect you 

From all the harm. And the moment I saw you, 

I thought, 

This girl is happy.

When you were eight, you and I grew closer, 

And my pages grew thicker and thicker with your words,

"I had fun today!" 

"I ate ice cream with my friends." 

"I got an A on my science quiz!!!!" 

And I would read them, page by page, and I 

Would smile to myself, And think,

My girl is happy. 

When you were nine, you were at the peak of your life. And 

You wrote in me every day, because every day was 

The happiest day of your life. 

"We're going on a trip to Niagara Falls! It's going to be soooo cool!!!" 

"Cake is delicious. Daddy got me one for my birthday IT WAS SO GOOD!" 

"OMG!!! I made a new friend. Her name is Alissa!!!" 

"Alissa gave me her strawberry at lunch!! It was delicious!!! Yum." 

And I would smile to myself and think, 

My girl is happy. 

And then you got older. You didn't write in me as much, and 

You even started liking someone. You grew to be 

10, 11, 12 

13, 14, 15 

And now you're 16 years old. My girl is happy. 

And one day you walked into your room, tears streaming down your face, 

My girl is happy....

And you opened your closet and you slowly took me out of it 

My girl is happy....

And then you began to write. 

"Dear Diary, 

I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm going to kill myself. Mom, I'm sorry. Dad, I'm sorry.

Little brother, I'm sorry. Friends, teachers, schoolmates, neighbors, everyone -- 

I'm sorry. The world is too harsh for me. I'd rather leave here than stay in a hell 

Where no one wants me. The world is just too mean. So, this is goodbye. I hope 

That you all become great things..." 

Her tears dripped onto the pages. 

"...Without me. I love you. Sincerely, your friend." 

And then, she silently picked up the knife, 

Tick tock, 

Seconds towards her death. 

And she held it to her arm, shaking, crying, screaming for someone to help her

Even though she didn't want any. 

And as soon as the metal touched her skin, I yelled. 

My pages flipped open, and she gasped and dropped the knife. 

She stared. 

And I began to speak as my words appeared on the paper.  

"Dear Megan, 

Don't be sorry. Don't kill yourself. Don't say goodbye. You don't write in me 

Anymore, but I know you're happy. My girl is happy. I always thought that. 

You smiled and wrote about your day in my pages, 

You cried and wrote about how you skinned your knee at recess,

You giggled as you wrote about your first crush. 

Pages and pages of words, pages and pages of the happiest girl 

I ever knew. Do you remember, that you found me in the trash, and 

You dusted me off, and then you called me yours? 

I was happy. And I could only watch as you grew up. And I do not 

Want to watch you die. I didn't get to know you for six years, 

But you were alive. You were the only one who was free on this hell. 

So, my girl, don't kill yourself. I love you, and I'll only be trapped 

In these pages but there is someone who loves you just as much 

As I do. So, baby, don't die. Don't cry. Don't be sad.

Just write." 

And then you put away the knife and you cried for hours. Talking to me. 

You had finally found a friend. 

And then you started writing in me again. One last entry.

"My mom came in to my room and she saw the knife. She was petrified. 

And she saw me writing instead and she nearly passed out with relief! 

Anyway, I scribbled over my suicide note with happy stickers instead. 

Everyone at school was so scared. I didn't know what to say to them....I know 

That everyone loves me, now. Honestly? I feel so happy. 

Thank you." 

She grew up and she never thought of suicide ever again. 

She married the love of her life, and even started a family. 

She bought a house, bought a car, and was happy. 

She had many friends, and some enemies, but she didn't 

Let them bring her down. At the end of the day, 

She finally wrote the words I dreaded most. 

"Dear friend, 

I'm dying. My husband has passed, and my kids grew up.

Even though I'm dying,

I had fun. Thank you." 

And I thought to myself, as she silently closed the cover and

Stored me away,

My girl is happy. 

- 

I am your best friend, 

I'll keep your secrets hidden. 

You cry onto my pages, 

And you laugh to yourself, thinking, 

"Life is fun!" 

Author's Note

Don't mind the grammar problems....
AND A NOTE:
JUST WRITE!!!!