Think First. Dance Later

Just how impoartant is a life when dancing is your whole life?

I stepped out of the pool of clothing that was wrapped around my ankles and moved into the shower. It was freezing cold, my skin prickled with small goose bumps and my n*****s hardened under the steady stream of water. I needed the cold. I needed to think and the temperature of the water forced me to focus on every part of my body trying to find a way out of it. Something that wasn’t going to happen till I was finished thinking.

Was I really going to go through with this? You probably wouldn’t even have a clue what I’m talking about, sometimes I wonder if I know. You see it all started with a boy, what story doesn’t but, this seemed different. At least different to me. My story with him, is a kind of Romeo and Juliet tragedy but, at the same time not. Don’t get me wrong, my parents love him to bits, but they don’t think he’s right for me. They would never say that I was someone who didn’t think through my decisions. I did. After all, I put myself through university and some of the best dance schools money could buy. They think he’s a simple crush, something I’ll get over. But he’s my first love and the clichéd saying is so very true. You never forget your first love. It’s like they’re imprinted somewhere in your soul, in your heart and that’s what makes them linger even when they’re long gone.

I shut my eyes tightly and rub a small amount of chocolate scented shampoo through my hair. God, what am I doing? I should start right back when we first crossed paths. Then I could think if I was going to keep the secret or lose it.

 

* * *

 

‘No, no that’s backleading,’ my voice boomed through the small dance studio. I shook my head and walked up to the pair of dancers, my heels clicking as I did so. Lisa and Andre were a new couple I was teaching, ‘Lisa, you need to let Andre do the leading, he’s the man,’ I pointed over at Roberto and he walked over to me. He was my partner, the one who helped me meet my expectations. He was the rock and I was the wind. He smiled up at me and I held back the smile I wanted to show, I was being the teacher not the classmate.

With a flick of my fingers the music started, ‘One, two, three, touch.’ I counted as my hips moved together with Roberto’s, our bodies moving fluidly with precision and knowledge, ‘You need to keep your centre, once you lose that, the judges will pick you to pieces,’ I was quiet as I dipped my back, Roberto’s body and hands supporting me as usual, ‘You need to keep the connection going, if you have that then you distract the judges.’ We came to a stop and I signalled the music, not taking my eye off of Roberto, I kissed his cheek and silently thanked him before breaking the connection and turning to my students.

‘Do you see what I mean? I was able to capture all of your attention and keep it. This is what you want to do with your audience and the judges. So back from the top everybody.’ I clapped the rhythm to help them set the pace, ‘One, two, three, touch, one, two, three, touch.’ I motioned for the music and they all kept up with the slow hip rolling movement. It was great to be able to do this. It was something I had worked so hard to get to and nothing could take it away from me.

Feeling eyes on the back of my neck I signalled to Roberto, who took over watching the class, while I went to talk to the person who was staring into my back. I turned to find a man standing in the doorway.

‘Can I help you?’ I looked the man over, nice clothing, same went for the hair cut, but the cologne he wore, it had me leaning in closer to try to figure out what it was.

‘You really do move like sex on legs,’ his voice had a soft accent to it, and one I quickly tried to discover the origin of.

‘Excuse me?’ I’ve heard the whispers but never paid a lot of attention to them.

‘You’re Alondra Markus right?’ he raised an eyebrow clearly amused. Who the hell was he?

‘Yes, who the hell are you?’ I flicked out my hip and rested my hand on it in a no nonsense way. I was starting to get annoyed.

‘Javier Sanchez,’ He grinned at me and I just glared back, a smart a*s, just great.

‘Well Javier if you don’t have anything interesting to say I’d prefer it if you left, I have a class to teach,’ I turned with every intention to leave when he caught my wrist. My heart rate kicked up a notch and he would’ve felt jump under his fingertips. He pulled on my wrist and spun me, my hips moving automatically with his. He dipped me and when I came up he held me close to his chest.

‘Yep definitely sex on legs,’ his voice was soft and welcoming and made me want to reach out to him. Not here. He twirled me and held me an arm length away, ‘It was a pleasure Alondra,’ he slipped something into my hand and with that walked away.

I had never been so surprised before, I was literally rooted to the where I stood. A new sensation. I turned and looked at Roberto, he was concerned, he cared for me and he knew that this new stranger had already worked his way into my heart.

 

* * *

 

I washed the shampoo out of my hair, the cold water still chilly but working its way to tolerable. That moment had been burned into my mind, it had stayed with me through everything. I remember what it felt like to press our hips against one another and how he stole my breath with his ridiculously great leading. So much had happened in so little time, now eight months on my decision was going to impact the rest of my life and his.

 

* * *

 

‘You what? No, no way, that’s not possible,’ I let out a small laugh and shifted in Javier’s lap to look at him, ‘You can’t possibly be serious, I mean that’s a really big dance event and you stacked it?’ My eyes were wide with shock, I had, had my falls but nothing so embarrassing.

‘I swear to you, my partner and I were just dancing you know...’

‘You mean basically f*****g on the dance floor,’ I grinned and he pinched me.

‘Yes, but that’s beside the point,’ he grinned back and I just laughed, ‘We were dancing, and I swear I didn’t see what the hell happened and next thing I knew I was on my a*s and my poor partner was in tears while I tried so hard not to laugh.’

‘That’s so embarrassing,’ I leaned over to brush a soft kiss against his lips. It had been five months since he had stolen my breath away that day and we had been practically inseparable.

‘Come on, it wasn’t that bad, I still managed to look fantastic.’ He grinned wider at me ‘What about you Allie?’

I shook my head, ‘Jarvy, I have nothing that embarrassing,’ then snorted as I remembered the single moment that was embarrassing, ‘Ha, when I was first starting out my partner stepped on my dress and all I was left with was the top.’

‘How the hell? I’ve only ever seen you wear short dresses.’

‘The left side of this dress was the longest, scraping the floor and yeah he stepped on it.’

‘That’s all you have?’ He just shook his head. Like I got to where I was having accidents.

‘Mhm.’

‘Insane. Hey your phones ringing.’

He let go of me and I grabbed my bag rummaging around to find the singing phone.

‘Alondra’s Dance Academy, this is Alondra speaking.’

‘Hi Allie, it’s Doctor Rodriguez, how are you?’

‘Oh. Hi, I’m good. What’s up?’ I didn’t want Jarvier to know I had gone to the doctors. It would only worry him. I didn’t want him to know that I had gone to see if I was pregnant, having missed my last two periods.

‘I got your test results back and I’d like to say congratulations. You’re pregnant.’ I could hear him beaming through the phone and I hated it. Everything inside me screamed no. What was going to happen to my dance studio?

‘Thank you. You’re sure though?’

‘A hundred and ten percent sure, I’ll schedule an ultra sound for you and get back with you. Take care of yourself in the mean time.’

‘Alright thanks. Bye.’

I hung up the phone and shoved it back into my bag, oh how was I going to tell Jarvy?

‘Who was that?’

‘Oh. Just a friend, something happened to them. So I have to get going, I have to go see if they’re alright.

‘You sure? You seem a little weird, like you got some really bad news.’ He stood up and held out a hand to me. Was I going to be steady on my feet?

I took his hand and let him help me to my feet. I was able to stand on them without wobbling. Point for me. What was I going to say to him? I had to lie, or just dismiss it

‘I’m fine honey, really.’ I smiled at him, trying to make it look natural, ‘I’ll see you later okay?’ I had to ask him, even when I wanted some time to myself.

‘Hmm...doesn’t seem like it but I’ll give you a call.’ He brushed my lips with his and wrapped his arms around me tightly, ‘Say hi to your friend.’

‘I will.’ It sickened me that I lied to him. But what else was I going to do?

 

* * *

Javier walked into the room and my heart fluttered and my body tensed up. Didn’t he get I didn’t want to be around him? I wonder if the room noticed how the tension exploded through the door with him.

‘Allie I need to talk to you.’

‘Jarvy I’m with a class right now, it’ll have to wait.’

‘It’s important.’ I heard the tone in his voice and turned towards him. I caught his gaze and I saw the hurt in his eyes. I couldn’t stand being the one who put it there. I had been avoiding him since the day I got the phone call.

‘Alright,’ I turned back to my students, ‘Let’s take this outside.’

My eyes flicked to the window. It was sunny but there were looming clouds approaching. Was is a sign of what was to come?

They all gawked at me as I picked up the portable CD player and walked outside. They all followed me and paired up. This was my advanced group they all knew what they were doing. I pressed play on the CD and coupled up with Roberto as we all went through the choreography together.

The music stopped, I broke away from Roberto and looked at Jarvier.

‘What’re you doing?’

‘Taking control.’ He held my gaze and I willed myself to look away but I couldn’t, there was something about him that made my body overrule all kind of logic, ‘You remember the dance don’t you?’

‘I couldn’t forget it even if I wanted to,’ my voice was soft as he pressed play and the guitar chords and clapping filled the silence.

He walked towards me determination written all over his face as I flicked my hips sharply and I slowly raised my arms above my head twirling my wrists. Wish each stroke of the guitar chords I flicked my hips to the other side and as the singers angelic voice slicked out of the speakers Javier pulled me against his body, his hand firmly on the small of my back. We swayed together, my hands still raised in the air till the chorus where slipped down and grasped his. He spun me and we ended back to chest. Little did I realise all of my students were watching. We were taking small steps as we carefully ground against each other

‘Remember when we first did this together?’ he murmured before spinning me out of reach and grasping my other hand for a moment before leaving me on my own as he back flipped. My students cheered in the background but it was like they were the people who had been at the party. With one arm held out in front of me and one above my head I rolled my tummy together with the back beat before Javier took my hand and I lifted my leg daintily over our interlocked hands. His other slipped to the small of my back as he supported me during the flip over his arm, hitting the floor I stretched my legs out into a slow split on the floor. There were more hoots and squeals. The sun slinked away and droplets of moisture began to fall. Jarvy wouldn’t stop just because it was raining.

‘You were so beautiful that night, so beautiful now.’

‘Stop it Jarvy. I know what you’re trying to do,’ my back was pressed up to him chest again and our hips moved together over the next verse before he turned me sharply to face him. He dipped me, smoothing my hips against his as my fingers tips skimmed the floor. He leaned forward and whispered.

‘Don’t shut me out Allie, I love you.’ Those words shook me and I felt his hands leave me as I flipped away from him, landing on my feet stepping back to him, he twirled my again as our feet danced around each other. The song ended and I slid down Jarvier’s body to end the dance. He helped me up and I looked up at him, catching my breath.

‘Did you think that maybe I was shutting you out for a reason hmm?’ There was more hurt and I just shook my head. It was getting to much, ‘Forget it Jarvy.’

I took a deep breath and plastered a fake smile on my face and turned to my students, ‘Alright everyone inside, we’ll call it a day.’

I walked away from him for the second time. I needed time to think about how I was going to tell him.

 

* * *

 

I took my seat nervously in the waiting room after giving my name to the receptionist. Apprehensively I fiddled with the silver locket around my neck.

‘Allie!’ I heard my name and I turned to find Javier’s sister sitting in front of me. I hadn’t even noticed her when I sat down. Damn.

‘Belita, oh my god I didn’t see you there. Hi. What are you going here? My smile was fake in an attempt to hide my shock.

‘Just picking up abuela’s prescription. What are you doing here?’

S**t. What was I going to tell my boyfriend’s sister and best friend? I couldn’t tell her I was getting an ultrasound. No way. A check up, yes!

‘Oh, just getting a general check up.’

‘God, you’re on top of it. I’m behind on that. Oh, my prescription’s ready. I’ll see you later.’ She leaned over and kissed the air next to my cheeks, ‘I’ll say hi to Jarvy for you,’ she winked and walked away before I could say anything!

‘Alondra Sanchez.’

My name was called, I stood up and shouldered my bag and walked towards my doctor. The close encounter played on my mind as I did so. It had rattled me more than I thought it would.

* * *

 

I had to tell him. I had to tell Jarvier that I was carrying his child and I had every intention of keeping it. He would be so happy, I just hope he’ll forgive me for avoiding him. I quickly rinsed off thoroughly, numbing my body further and cooling me down. I shut the water and opened the door and wrapped a towel around my body, using another to dry my hair. I slipped on my black panties under the towel before drying off and slipping my dress on without worrying about my bra. I had to go see him now. I walked out of the bathroom quickly slipped on my shoes that were by the door. I took my keys and went to my car. I was going over there right now to tell him. I had done enough thinking.

Author's Note

This was written for my major English assignment. Tell me what you think about how it all fits.

Reviews

[Devine Miss C]

I love it and as for Javier .. he can show me his moves anytime he wants to. Makes me a little sad tho - I dated a ballroom dancer for a few years and I miss dancing with him - no one since has known how .. *sigh*

Would love to read more :)

[Mandi D K]

Thank you so much!

[Dawning Creativeness]

I love it!! Fits perfectly babe! I think... you should write more to it :P

Or at least Jarvy's reaction :D