Glaciers

I have a portfolio due for my poetry class and I really want some feed back on this piece. Please and thank you =)

When the sun’s rays boil

your flesh,

forcing you down into the

footprints of past believers,

shield your eyes and

remind your master that

fear only resides in the

hearts of the weak.

The invariable waves of

eroding glaciers

that were once protected

for reasons you thought

you knew.

Your hands wet with water,

your back soaked in sweat.

A sense of mortality

sinks in as the sun’s

sinister circumference

peak from behind

your cover

of false silver linings.

Bury your feet in the

melting snow,

fight against nature,

pretend like you had nothing

to do with it.

You shield the ice from the one

you bowed down to,

your body heat fitting in

place with the grand plan

of the sun.

Reviews

[Germany Rose]

Reminds me of Earnest Hemmingway, a man who put a lot of quality work within such a short structure. Understanding this poem, feels like understanding an enigma--and I'm quite curious on what my own thoughts of it are.

[Coyote Poetry]

A powerful poem. I had to read again. You put a lot in the short poem. Create vision of eroding glaciers and the sea and nature. I like the questions create by your poem. If you desire questions and discussion. The poem is amazing. Thank you for sharing the excellent poetry.
Coyote

[Milktoast]

Oh I love this. The first part literally caused my eyes to open wide with pleasant surprise, especially the part about "shield your eyes and remind your master that fear only resides in the hearts of the weak" . From this piece, I gather a funny feeling of martyrdom, as if you're saying failure is imminent, but f**k it; dare anyways to remain steadfast in your purpose. If you don't mind, could you tell me if I'm off? I've just recently began reading the works of other writers, and I'd like to know if I'm interpreting this correctly. Again, great work!

[KaliAnn]

The meaning of this poem kind of varies =) If that's what you see it as, then that's what it is. I'm glad you liked it.